Dating and Some of the Nightmares that go along with it!
It has been a long time since I was in the dating world but that does not mean I never think about it. I have two sons not yet married who are on that very scene and trying to navigate it. To be honest, it sounds a bit like a minefield.
I have asked our youth Pastor Jon Lefave to work with me over the next weeks/ months to help me put this mini series together. My hope is to simply give to you some tools to navigate this journey, which is both exciting but potentially heartbreaking as well.
Some of the topics we are going to address are:
1. Respecting yourself and putting up some boundaries for your relationship.
2. What to do when Relationships get too controlling.
3. How to be an amazing first date - then and thereafter.
4. Stuff guys do that make girls feel like zero’s
5. Stuff girls do that make guys feel like zero’s
6. Some signs of the high maintenance girl/boyfriend. Why you don’t want to be like this. Take our quiz.
7. How to really impress a girl.
8. When breaking up is hard to do and how to do it with respect and integrity.
9. To commit or not commit, that is the question.
10. “Call Me Maybe... Not”
11. If I am a Christian, should I date a Non- Christian?
12. How to survive a break -up.
To begin however, we do have a few thoughts before we begin this journey. We will likely add on topics as we get inspired. We are not experts, but we do know a thing or two we think may be helpful.
Jon says : “I would like to preface all of these questions by saying that if you are in elementary school, or even early years of high school, then you should strongly consider and ask yourself the reasons as to why you are dating. Well actually there is never an age when you shouldn’t be asking yourself these questions, however for those who are significantly younger with no real vision of marriage close by, I would suggest being friends and waiting until you’re older. For those who want to follow Jesus, these can be very formative years in your life where you are learning to look to Him (Jesus) for the truths of your identity. If you enter into a dating relationship only so that they can tell you things you feel like you need to hear or else you’ll be sad or lonely, you should not be dating. Let Jesus affirm you and ground you at an early age in who you are and how much he cares for you.”
Donna says: “I told my daughter she could date when she was 31. Finally when she turned 16 she asked me honestly, when can I date? I told her when she was 17. The whole dating thing is fun but it can be heartbreaking. When people make promises they fail to keep and in the process you get your heart broken… that is not fun.
You need to know what you really want in a guy or girl that you are going to date and maybe one day marry. Make a wish list. Not so much blue or brown eyes and what colour hair. Think about things like their character. How will they act towards you? Would they lie to you? Would they cheat on you? Would they disrespect you and your rules? How do you want to be treated? What does being loved truly look like to you? No ideas? If you have a Bible or even want to check it out online, look up 1Corinthians 13: 4-7, these verses will give you a few good ideas of what might be on your list.
So, that is your homework for this week. Look at what Jon said. Take that to heart. Then get busy on your list.