I remember my 16th birthday for one thing, my dad showed up drunk. I remember the embarrassment I felt in front of my friends. I do not remember now even who the friends were or what we did, only my dad. I was angry with him. Though I know my anger accomplishes nothing. 

Every week, there was a knot in my stomach that would grow. I found eating made me feel sick. I knew my dad had been sober a few days and he was due to drink again. I would dread coming home from school. Anger,fear and deep sadness would walk home with me .I would open the door and there in the hall is the 12 pack- it was open. He would be 3 beers in. Not too bad yet. As the evening went on, the classical music would be on, I would be forced to listen to it as he felt it would make me ... I have no idea what. I hated classical music for years. Just hearing it would put a knot in my stomach. 

How do you navigate life when you are watching someone you love so much,destroy themselves week after week? They spend money the family does not have. They wreck what could have been a nice evening home...again. They disappoint you and say horrible things.

There is no simple answer that is for sure. Fighting with them just gives them an excuse and ridiculous proof in their minds that they have a right to drink and get drunk because look at what they have put up with at home. Making them feel worthless is not helpful, most alcoholics I know feel more then worthless all ready. No amount of cleaning or nice things you try to do for them is going to stop the from drinking.  I wish it would work like that. But it does not. 

Unless they want to quit really bad, stop blaming and take responsibility nothing is going to stop them. Alcoholism is a family disease. It affects every person,sometimes right down to the cat or dog who hide when the drinker comes homes drunk. They even know to get out of the way. 

I know sometimes people use something called intervention. I cannot talk much about it as I know very little on the topic. I do know that when an alcoholic is sick of the mess of their lives and the devastating effect it is having on others, then quitting becomes an possible. Alcoholics Anonymous remains in my mind one of the best  programs available. The rehabilitation programs are good but if the individual does not keep going to AA it is very likely they will relapse. It has to be part of their life. They need to learn to think differently among other things..like dealing with life honestly.

I will never discount however the power of prayer. I know that through my prayers, God in His kindness has reached down into the lives of those I love and rescued them. Jesus was and is my comfort and my strength. He gave me wisdom to navigate difficult paths then and ever since. In the book of Psalms it says that God is a  very present help in times of trouble. I can tell you that is true. 

If you are in trouble today, whatever kind of trouble, invite Him into the middle of it. He will not make every problem go away,but He does give wisdom to you if you seek Him with your whole heart.