I was thinking this morning of how unforgiveness is like a wasp sting. You feel it all over nor it is not easy to ignore. Either when  you fail to accept an apology which is being offered to you, (even when given humbly and honestly), it lives a sting.

In the same way, when you are on the asking for forgiveness end and the person will not give it to you; this can feel like a wasp sting also.

You might think you are left untouched by not forgiving, but that is where the lie creeps in. Unforgiveness has a way of changing how we see the world. It seems to affect our hearing. In my mind, it is like looking at life through a dirty window. It becomes diffucult to see the beauty outside. It can make us over sensitive and critical. There is little room for the wounded heart to heal if we are clinging to a grudge.

 Then there is the other side. Have you ever asked someone to forgive you yet it is clear that they are not going to give it? You may even grovel a bit. No matter how much you plead, they look down at you. Situations like this can haunt you- at least it does me.

I hate when someone is mad at me and will not forgive  regardless of how often I have asked for it. It feels like bitter rejection. Sort of like coming to a dinner table set for people that are a big deal to you yet, there is no place set for you. Walking away, your heart is heavy, rejected and maybe a bit angry also. 

It is not easy to just leave it alone either. Yet, there really is no choice is there? If they will not release you, what are your options. You have humbly apoligized. The ball is in their court and now it is up to them. 

The place I have found comfort in times like these is Psalm 37:3-6. As the one who apogized and your apology is unaccepted, you have to keep living. Just like these verses say. Do good in the land you find yourself. One day things may change. May you find comfort in the wait. There are still sunny days and many great things to set our heart on.

If you are the one who needs to forgive, all I would say, you have been forgiven much in your life. All of us have. No one is perfect. Life is short. Grugdes are heavy and life sucking. You do yourself no favors. It was Jesus who said "As a person sows, so shall he reap". As we extend grace, it is given back to us. Perhaps not today, but one day. 

Have a great day.