Donna Lea Dyck

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Mad at God?

Lots of people are mad at God. You pray hard for loved ones to get healed, and they are not healed. People suffer, you suffer. Bad things happen. Surely, everyone should be mad at God.

I remember when I was 19 years old and my dad died. When I finished being devastated , I was upset with God. I had asked God to take care of my dad while I went off to Bible College. We had a deal! Then after only 1 1/2 semesters, dad died of a massive heart attack. How was that caring or loving for that matter?

My heart was broken. My faith was a bit wobbly to be honest with you.I wondered if I could really trust God? I knew He was powerful enough to keep my dad from dying, but he still died. I was mad!

A mad heart can lead to a hard heart. That is what I had. I didn't feel much. I froze all those. It is easier. Finally the day came when He and I had "the talk"

Somehow amidst my steeled up heart, God seemed to be calling to me. I missed our daily talks. I still needed the peace and guidance that's Jesus brought daily to my life. I missed not leaning on Him every day. 

I poured my heart out to Him about my disappointment and heart break. He listened. I don't remember if He said anything to me. He did however soothe my heart and brought peace to it. He was not mad at me because I was mad at Him. I forgave Him for not keeping my dad from dying. 

 I know I am no apologist. I barely passed that course truth be told. However, I still figured out a thing or two; and this is it. While I do not get God and the bad stuff that happens in my life or in the lives of people I love, we are left with choices. Are we going to be mad or still trust God even when we do not understand Him and do not have all the details?

We don't know what is around the corner or up the hill. I know that bad things happen to people. There are alot of questions I have for God when I get to heaven. In the meantime, I choose to trust Him, amidst the confusion and heartbreak. He does still give peace and comfort in our sorrows if we seek Him. 

Here is a real shocker- God does not have to explain Himself to me! There may come I day we will understand why some things happen. For the most part my friend, we won't. God still loves you. He still cares for you. One day, at the end of time, He will wipe every tear from the eyes of His children. 

He sees every tear that falls and every sigh that is breathed. Psalm 40 talks about how after waiting patiently for God , He lifted us out of the slimy pit. He sets us on a rock and gives us a firm place to stand. Then in His love for us, He gives a new song. 

Maybe today that is what you need. You are not alone. Others have walked this same path. May you meet God the Father on it and know His love for you, even in the middle of your suffering.