“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said: ‘Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’” Ephesians 5:11-14

I have the tendency to be a sneaky little rascal. Although I don’t have an addiction to any one particular thing, I struggle with wanting to keep my sin hidden away. I know that Christ calls me to live in the light and not to keep anything hidden, and I know that sin, when kept in the dark, damages my soul and my relationships. Romans 7:15 reads “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” I strongly resonate with Paul when he says, “I don’t understand what I do”, because although I know exactly what I’m doing, I really don’t comprehend why I continue to sin, and then hide it. Lately, I have been working through that ‘why’ with Jesus – why is it that I choose to keep my sin hidden in the shadows?

What has become clear to me is that I have created an image of myself that I both desire and feel obligated, to maintain for the sake of myself and others. When I fail to live up to the standard I hold myself to, rather than confessing it, I think: “Don’t tell anyone. Hopefully over time it will go away. I need everyone to believe that everything is fine and dandy here”. Jesus has been revealing to me the truth behind my sneaky tendencies. My deepest character flaws are not actually the sins that I am hiding, but that I am hiding them! This, my friends, is pride. Pride is far more concerned about looking righteous than about being righteous. Righteousness can only come from being forgiven and covered by the blood of Jesus, and we can only be forgiven when we confess our sins (1 John 1:9).

Two things that are true for all people is that we have each been created with a deep desire to be known, and to be accepted. However, when we look to people to fulfill those desires, we are often left feeling rejected and/or alone. If I am completely vulnerable with someone in every area of my life because I want to be known, there is a real possibility I won’t be accepted. If I truly want to be accepted, I might only allow people to know the acceptable parts of my life, but then again, I won’t be known. How then can I be known and accepted? My simple conclusion is this: Jesus already does! Jesus died to have a relationship with you while knowing everything about you. There is no one that can love you deeper, and no one that can know you better than God. Having God’s approval must matter to me more than the fear of being rejected by people.

God desires that each of us will have life to the fullest, fully satisfied in Him, and a crucial part we play in that is allowing a community of believers to see the real version of us. Once our need for approval and being known is first met in Jesus, vulnerability with people (though the risks of rejection still exist) is then possible for us! The way in which people see us and define us will no longer have the same power over us when the words of Jesus who says that we are known and loved and seen and accepted by him are the foundation on which our identity and worth are built. Darkness only has power in the dark, but once it’s in the light it becomes a testimony to the goodness of God.