When I read magazines, they are all about table settings, menus and stunning outfits you want to be seen in. All of these things add something to a celebration, but none of it matters if this one thing is missing.

 As Christians we celebrate Immanuel, God with us, being born in the manger; we welcome His presence. The Author of love came down to live among us and made a way for us to know God our Father. What a beautiful truth, but not my point at the moment.

 Here is the one thing: the way we navigate situations with difficult, over-sensitive loved ones matters. There is a saying, “ hurt people hurt people”. It doesn’t matter how nice your table settings are or how elaborate the menu you have worked so hard to prepare in great love for those dear to you is, it may not be a game changer for this loved one.

 You sit down to the table, say your prayer of thanksgiving and pass the food around. Then begins the conversations. This loved one speaks up and your stomach goes into a knot, you brace yourself. Surely Christian families are beyond this, but if we are being honest, we are all a work in progress, some more so than others. How do we navigate these moments?

 There are a few things that come to my mind. As much as we would love to control the response of everyone around the table only one thing is certain: the one person you have most control over, is you.

 I sat down this morning and wrote out 1 Corinthians 13:4-8A.” If we could apply the truth that our Lord laid out for us here, wow, what a difference we would experience,

 “ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It aways protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

 This season, let us not only prepare the meal, but our soul and our mind. As we pray and seek God for help to respond with the wisdom and instruction of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, it does help. It is challenging when you have a loved one who looks at life through a cracked lens. How we respond can quiet them or make it worse. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us “ A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh answer stirs up anger.”

 Lastly, my husband Bill has a saying that I keep in mind, “ Not all truth needs to be spoken because not all truth is helpful.”

 Dear Father,

I give to you the gatherings I have with family and friends in the weeks to come. I ask in Jesus Name I will be filled with wisdom and Your love as I relate to all people. Help me be silent when I ought and speak when it is helpful. May Your love fill me, Father. I don’t have enough on my own, that is for sure! Thank you.

In Jesus Name,

Amen