Almost two years ago I decided to start running again. I used to run when I was in my twenties and have not done it since. Because I was running once more, I thought that I would be able to shed a couple of pounds in no time. I’ve seen those videos where a good-sized woman would walk and get smaller and smaller with every passing day. I thought that I would be just like her … except I wasn’t. Even though I was running again, I actually ended up gaining weight. People said my extra weight was muscle, and maybe they were right. However, let me tell you, the extra fat I continued to drag around was making me crazy and it didn’t seem like it was going anywhere anytime soon.

 What was my problem? Well, I spent my summer eating whatever I wanted. I believed that if I ran 5 km two or three times a week, what I ate wouldn’t matter. I baked until my heart was content because baking is a great love of mine. It turned out; I was wrong – my diet did matter.

 I began a new workout program last fall. It is a workout for women over 50 and I qualify. I really liked working out with the instructor. She kept saying that weight loss and fitness are not the same thing. She even said, “you do not have to exercise to lose weight.” What?!

 As I worked out, the instructor would often repeat, “you have to make peace with your menopausal body.” This is something I had not done – there was no peace. I tried to tell myself I was fine with the way I looked; except I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I finally decided that enough was enough. One day, I looked in the mirror and again saw a reflection I didn’t like. I finally asked myself, what was I going to do about it? I resolved that day to be different. No more cookies. No more chips. Basically, no more of anything that started with “c.” Things that start with “c” are my nemesis. Yet, even after my resolve, day after day, there was no change. I was “fit” but that was it. I wanted to be fit and trim.

 I needed to address the sayings I’ve embraced for a long time. Life is too short to not eat cookies or whatever else I might want. I really liked this saying and I lived by it, especially throughout the pandemic. I also blamed my thyroid which is slow (something I need medication for). I had all my reasons perfectly lined up. It was not until I was willing to admit that these beliefs were no longer serving me. They were, in fact, hurting me.

 I recently joined a weight loss program and have really been sticking with it. I have an accountability buddy which also helps. I am about 8 weeks in and am down about 10 pounds. It is slow but steady progress. I’ve found that whether I see progress or not, I honestly feel much better. I’ve dropped my cookie habit along with other things that I was doing which were not helpful. I know that some people can do this on their own, and I think that is amazing. I am, however, not in that category. I need help and inspiration!

 I have asked God to help me with self-control since it is clearly an issue for me with foods starting with “c.” I have also admitted to the lies I’ve told myself and addressed the motivations behind my goals. I am also trying to be gentle with myself. I cheer when I see changes. I celebrate another cookie-free day.

 If you are where I am and my story has been a help, then I am thankful. If you are at peace with yourself, that is great. We all need to be the best we can be. That is one thing no one else can do for us.