“ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

1. The grass is always greener on the other side.

I have a very distinct memory of sitting on some steps on the front porch of a girlfriend’s house. Beside me, was her husband. It had been her birthday, and it was a lot of fun and a privilege to be there. The husband, however, wow…. So, discontent with his lovely wife. He went on and on about different women he wished he had married instead. I was shocked. I remember telling him, “The grass is NOT greener on the other side”. He did not believe me. He went on to have multiple affairs. I doubt he discovered any woman better than the one who has somehow stood by him, forgiving over and over. Discontentment about many things in our lives is often the author of this kind of thinking – ‘If only...then things will be better.’ We can wait a long time and miss many wonderful blessings and victories if keep thinking like that. Sometimes we do need to act and bring change. Feeding discontent, however, can be very negative, like in my story above.

2. Things can only get better.

There is truth in this, but sometimes things are not going to get better. If we keep doing the same thing over and over, we will have the same result. If that is the result you are going for – perfect, if it is not then you have to take a moment and think about what should be done differently. If we want things to get better often it can mean hard work mixed with sacrifice. Sometimes it means standing down and letting someone experience the consequences of their choices. Constant rescuing is perhaps not helping. For things to get better, we need wisdom and insight, and God has that for us if we ask Him. 

3. It is what it is. 

I hear this said often, in fact, I say it. If I am honest, usually it means there is a situation I cannot change and shouldn’t get involved with. But sometimes it can be a fallback excuse for inaction where something does not have to be as it is right now. It could change if we do something to bring change. There are big things and there are small things. Again, we need wisdom to know what is as it is and what it is not. It reminds me of the serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

4. You should always tell the truth.

You should tell the truth however, sometimes the truth is not helpful. People are not always ready for the truth at that moment, and we must wait for a better time. It requires patience and discernment. There are many times I do know the truth in a situation, but it is clear to me that if I spoke the truth- it will not be received. I think it is a bit like the passage of scripture where we are warned to not cast pearls before swine.

5. All we can do is pray. 

Prayer is a mighty tool for someone who has faith leans into God’s promises and seeks God’s intervention in the impossible. To come to a place where all we can do is pray is not a negative, it is a relief. We are not without hope or without options. We look to God in prayer for what is next. What should be said or not said, done or not done? We look to Him to make the path before us manageable and clear.  Prayer often leads to action.