There was a season in my life where I had only one or two friends who were not struggling with depression or anxiety and were not on medication. I was surprised to discover how very common it is. Loving and caring for them in a healthy way was an important discovery for me. 

I do not claim to have mastered it- but I am better today then I was. I didn't realize what depression really was lived out in front of my eyes. You would think I would considering my own brother struggled with it intensely. He mixed it with a lot of alcohol and later drugs. To be honest, that is what took centre stage. I was younger and I did not understand really the challenges he faced every day. 

It is hard to imagine depression if you have not lived it or have not lived very closely with someone who has to struggle under its burden. I do not know what it is to have to psyche myself to get out of bed and live another day, yet millions of people do this every single day. 

I do know what it is to love someone who struggles under this burden and likely many reading this know someone as well. 

I learned the hard way that I cannot talk them out of their depression, I was naive enough one time to think I could. I learned to listen and to pray for them and leave them to God. It is utterly exhausting otherwise. Clearly, if they are not on medication and need to be, I have encouraged them to do that. It is not a sin. If they were not on the right meds, I encouraged them to go see the Dr. and get the right medication. 

1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that "love is patient and love" is kind and it goes on in a few verses later that "love never gives up, never loses faith, it is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance" (verse 7).

To love people truly, it requires God's love to be streaming through us. It is very challenging to love people with this struggle of depression- but love we do.  We love without becoming angry or impatient. That is not helpful. We pray for them and ask God for wisdom in what to even say or do next. He does lead us. He knows this person better then we do. We will never talk these dear people out of depression, but we may pray them out! 

This is what I do know. God does not give up on me. May He give strength and love to never give up on others.  Wise boundaries, certainly, but not to the point we become useless. When the person struggling with depression and see only clouds on a sunny day, we gently remind them of just where the sun is shining, if only a little bit. 

May God give to each of us wisdom and the love we need to love those who must live with this very difficult burden. No one hopes they get to grow up and get to deal with depression. Be patient, wise and loving. If you are short on any of these - Go to the one who has a boundless supply.