Stuff You Can't Take Back

I wish words that have been spoken could be returned as easily as the sweater upstairs I bought awhile ago. But, that is not how it works in real life.

 Rather it ushers in stuff like guilt… possibly a sleepless night.

 What are you suppose to do? You can’t take it back. You go , apologize very kindly, and hope they forgive you. Usually they do accept your apology…. Sadly sometimes they don’t. Then what are you suppose to do.

 When this happened to me, the lady was so angry with me, she gave me the cold shoulder. I went and apologized again with little change.

 I was left feeling horrid. Eventually I realized the ball was in her court. I had done everything I could do.

 The next decision I made was to not find myself in the same position in the future.  I learned the very hard way to think before I speak. I try to clarify what I meant really fast. I can’t stand when I think someone is upset with me. I am not afraid to say hard things, but I try to say it kindly and with love.

 Do I ever get it wrong? Yep. I am not perfect. I am a work in progress. I am pretty good at apologizing because I have had so much practice.

 James1:19 “ Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Col 3:13. “ Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”



The Art of Great Conversation

 I have never been much of a tennis player, but I do know a good game when I see one. The ball goes flying over the net and back again. You don’t see one player bouncing the ball and becoming distracted playing by themselves. Nor do you see the ball going over the net while the opponent just watches the ball go by and lets it just lay there. Now both of those scenarios would make for a very boring game.

 Conversations that are amazing are kind of like that. You both have something to say. It is not a monologue, you say something, they respond. You don’t go on and on about yourself because that is just like playing with the tennis ball on one side of the court. It gets boring pretty fast. It is not like you can’t talk about yourself, but know when you have lost the interest of the one who is listening. I read something once that stuck in my head like glue. “No one is as interested in what you are saying as you”.

 In the same way, don’t let the ball just roll past you, unless it is a not worth pursuing. That also takes some consideration.

 It is always great when you talk or you listen, you look the person in the eyes. That is part of the art of communication, not to mention  knowing what to say and when you have said enough already! It takes awhile to learn that. I feel like I am still learning.

 James 1:19” Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”.

Freedom in Forgiveness

There was an old pair of running shoes I used to wear. They were perfect. They looked gross, but I didn’t care. They felt great and they molded to my feet like a leather glove to my hand.

Bitterness and unforgiveness is a little like that old pair of running shoes. It’s not at all hard to get used to it.  In fact, it can even be comfortable.

I remember the time when I was first told that I needed to forgive my alcoholic father for all that he had done.  My first thought was "That's outrageous! He doesn’t deserve it,” not today or tomorrow or even a million years from now.

The next shocking piece of news I received was the idea that there is freedom in forgiveness. What in the world does that mean?

It is not like you lose the memory of whatever happened, but the power of that memory loses its intensity.

When I was a kid, I loved firecrackers. I loved lighting them and seeing them explode. The bigger the better. There are some simple things you can do that can greatly wreck the whole blowing up part, like soaking it in water, drying it out and then lighting it. It doesn’t work. It is still a firecracker. It smoked, but it lost its bang.

Forgiveness, when done from the heart, it sort of like that soaked firecracker.  In the Bible, Jesus tells His followers to forgive their enemies. If you have said the Lord’s prayer you will remember, it says, “Forgive us our debts as we have also forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).

It sounds like crazy advice. Yet, when I forgave my dad, the angry and painful memories  lost their grip on my heart. Anger started to melt away. I had to forgive him for all kinds of stuff over the years as I remembered more not so great things. You have to start somewhere though. I started with what was the most clear to me.

Not all this happens quickly.  It’s slow, but sure. I asked Jesus to help me with this stuff.

Maybe there is someone you need to forgive. You can ask Him too. He will give you courage and peace. He is like that.

Check this forgiveness stuff out. See what you think.

D.

Blisters of My Soul

You can’t see them but you may notice their effect.

Those blisters are what make me see only clouds on a sunny day.

Blisters make me critical of the people I meet, though they may never hear it.

My cup seems empty when in fact it is rather full.

I complain about stupid things.

I hold onto grudges and rather than forgive.

I have anger that is gently peculating just below the surface.

These blisters seem to trouble my hearing. I hear in a distorted manner. I assume what was never said and it is not positive.

My joy is short lived and hope eludes me. People don’t seek me out and I find I am alone.

I desperately need to find healing for these blisters but there is no salve or prescription available.

I need someone who can reach into my heart and heal these things. They are stealing away my life.

I am tired of them.