When it is time for teacher parent interviews, the revelation of marks is very near the beginning of the interview. When my children were in grade school, I would stop the teacher before she/he got too deeply into it. I would inquire rather about how they were treated by our children. Were they respectful and kind? How did they treat their classmates. If they had all A's but treated those around them like dirt, that "A" meant very little to me. It is not the "A" that would carry them thoughout their lives, it was their character.
Here are five points of character to consider today.
1. It is good to teach your child manners, like please and thank you. It is better to teach your children why we are to be thankful. You cannot teach thankfulness when kids are given the freedom to complain or criticize gifts given to them. I remember one mom telling me how her kids didn't like the pajama's their grandma gave them each Christmas. So, mom complained on behalf of the the children. That does not teach thankfulness it breeds entitlement and that is the last thing we need more of.
2- Teach your children the importance of how their words and actions can negatively impact others. I was at a park a few weeks ago and heard a mom say to her little girl " honey you go and have fun and do whatever seems right to you and ignore what anyone says otherwise". I was thinking she could right a book about how to raise a nightmare child. If you want your dear child to grow up one day and keep a job, they need this lesson to rest in their hearts deeply. If they cannot learn when they need to be silent or to speak with the understanding of the power of their words and actions, they will be in trouble one day. All the talent in the world will not rescue them.
3-Humility is important even today. While we live in a culture where we praise our children for their accomplishments, it is important to balance that out as well. It takes courage to truly acknowledge our accomplishments and to then walk humbly with the knowledge that there is still more to learn. If you watch the movie about the life of Mozart-a young man with enormous talent but no concept of humility or the tremendous value of respecting the talents of others even when their talent is lesser then your own. That takes humility.
4- Learning to lose well matters. While it is great to see our children win at their sport or be the best in the band, failure will no doubt be present from time to time. How we navigate failure is a big deal. It tells people more about us then when we win. Sulking, blaming and complaining and fanning that flame is foolish. Learning from our errors and knowing when to move on is a very wise and precious lesson on living wisely.
5- Teaching children to listen to you and to others without interrupting is important. One day they with all their wonderful talent will apply for a job. In the interview in front of them sits a resume neatly polished. As they go through the interview they continually interrupt the interviewer. You might say to me- Donna this is an issue of manners- that is true to a point. Looking a bit deeper though, it is an the wisdom of knowing that what others have to say is important. I can wait my turn because they are important and I need to be listening so I can answer well and wisely.
I have more I would like to add. That will be next time. Thank you for reading.