Psalm 23: 6 Surely goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life and I will live in the House of the Lord forever
Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him
On April 9th, 1979, I was in Bible school in Manitoba. I felt like I needed to move far from home because my father was an alcoholic and drinking way too much.. Even though he did not live with us, I took it upon myself to make sure he made it back to his place safely. There was no end of difficulties when it came to my dad. So, as I prayed about leaving to go to Bible College, I chose to go to the next province over. I trusted God to watch over my dad and keep him safe. Things do not always work out just as we hoped and prayed. April 9th of my first year in Bible College, my dad had a massive heart attack and died.
I struggled deeply trying to understand why God allowed this to happen. I am currently reading “The Bait of Satan” by John Bevere. He was talking about how people become offended with God because bad things happened, and God did not answer the way they prayed and trusted Him for. He said something that really struck me. He tells the story of a young man who suffered many losses in a very short period of time. This young man had fervently served God. He was mad at God as the losses were just too much. John Bevere, thinking about this young man, said “he believed God owed him for all he had given up to serve him.”
It is easy to fall into this thinking especially as we find promises of God and “claim” them in Jesus’ Name believing they will lead to a particular outcome we have planned for God to accomplish. I think this is especially true when it involves our loved ones. We lay them before the throne of God and trust Him to care for them. When bad things happen, does that mean God forgot? Was He perhaps too busy that day? Maybe that is how it feels but that does not make it true.
We worship God because He is worthy, not because of all the nice things He can do for us. He has done many great things, starting with salvation. He made a way so we can rest in God and know His peace and in the middle of the storms of life, even when things don’t make sense. Choosing to trust God in these seasons is a choice.
God can handle our brutal honesty but while we face seasons where things make little sense to us, we need to guard our hearts. I have confessed to God several times in my life that I do not understand what He is thinking or doing, but I choose to trust him. When my brother died of a drug overdose I struggled greatly. God is a God of mercy but that does not mean that things will turn out the way we think it should. He does promise His presence and comfort if we come to Him. I have experienced both and I pray this will be true for you if today you are facing some tough circumstances or disappointments.
Dear Father,
I come before You today and thank You for Your presence with me. Though what I face makes little sense to me, I trust You. Lead me through these days that are dark and seemingly hopeless. I know that You are still God Almighty and that You love me. Thank You that You see me in my suffering. I choose to put my whole trust in You.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.