Resumè and Truth

 Sitting in Starbucks a few days ago, sat two 17 year olds. The conversation was hard to miss. They were confessing to each other how they lied and exagerated on their resumés. Granted, when filling out a resume, you want to make yourself sound like you are very much worth the prospective employers time.  Doesn't telling the truth matter?

Several years ago my husband hired an administrator, not the amazing one we have currently, the one before that. This young womans resumé was impressive indeed. Yet, when it was time to get down to work,she could not spell very well. Another problem was she could not do some of the basic computer programs needed for the job. So, Bill pullled out her resumé and asked her about what was clearly written in black and white. She told him she had to write that or he would never have hired her. 

My husband is very kind indeed. Yet, he really needed someone who could actually do what was needed. Thankfully he did find someone and she is amazing.

This week I had to redo my resume for a job I am interested in. I wanted it to look better then it did. Yet, I wanted it to reflect the truth only. It would not take much beat my resumé. I am much better if I can just get the interview. I am stronger in person then on paper. So, I will see. I just left it as is and submitted it. Hopefully the lady will remember meeting me and give me an interview.

I was thinking about the importance of being honest, even on a resumé. When you do get the job, the real work begins...and you have to live up to your wonderfulness. It is embaressing having to explain you overstated your ability. You need to know what is your potential and what is beyond you. Perhaps one day you will have that skill set, but perhaps it is not today. 

We need to put an honest foot forward. Something employers value is integrity. Working hard, being honest and not speaking badly about the poeple you work with always goes a long way, wherever you work. It makes you a joy to work with. That my friend is what you want people to believe. 

Hands Off!

In the  Globe and  Mail, there was an article about a marriage of many years. In the Q&A it was called"How this couple saved their marriage by embracing non-monogamy had having sex with others". We just celebrated Valentines day last week. I confess, I have no comprehension of how this could work. 

I know that in some religions there is one husband a sometimes several wives. Even in the Old Testament, there are many examples. That is not my experience. I am thankful indeed. I cannot imagine. I still remember the day my neighbour came to my door crying and very angry. Her husband had taken on a new younger wife. It is acceptable in his culture. I am pretty sure, that is not how it goes here in Canada.

In this article however, both parties share different partners. In Toronto there are now Swing clubs. Apparently very popular. No thank you... I will stick to square dancing. Call me old fashioned if you like. I will happily share a plate of cookies or a good home cooked meal, but my husband is off limits.

Even as I write this, I shake my head. It is incompressible to me. Imagine the conversations at the dinner table..ok, let's not. 

To be loved and loved well is a gift and one I am eternally thankful for. To know that my husband loves me no matter what my dress size. In fact, he is sick of the conversation. He is there for me , believing in me and cheering for me daily. When I think back to 30 years of marriage, I know that it has been a gift from God. Not all seasons of marriage are easy,that is true. When the waters got rough, bringing some new man on the scene would not have brought the sizzle..that I can tell you.

Love is patient and kind. It is not self seeking. Love waits while the other is struggling and does not give up. It honours it's promises. Love never fails. People do, but then, love also forgives. 

We don't live in a perfect world for sure. Every story is different. I will stick to just one husband thank you. God is the centre in our marriage. Where He is centre ,confusion dissipates. 

Wisdom from God is first of all pure. What I read in this article and their solution does not reflect the wisdom of God. Of this... I am pretty sure.

Love Yourself Enough

 Everyone could hear the shouting that day. The far corner, right side of the cafeteria. Being a cheer leader helps with volume, that much was clear. The young brunette yelled for everyone to hear " I don't care what any of you think!" then left quickly.

If you followed her, you would have found her in a classroom crying. 

Earlier that same day this same crying young woman could have been heard carelessly talking about someone else. She knew even as she was speaking, she was stretching things a little and just maybe saying more then she should. It felt good though, so she kept going. Her words caught up to her later in the cafe. That is what the drama at the beginning was all about.

The instruction Christ give in Matthew 29:39 "Love your neighbor as yourself", comes into play here. 

 Loving yourself, it is not all about getting your hair done or having a manicure. It is also about loving yourself enough to care about the state of your own heart.

When we allow pride to live in our hearts and take up residence there, trouble will soon follow. The same is true of bitterness - which is simply unforgiveness which is left to brew.

Love yourself enough to take a personal inventory. Ask yourself the really hard questions- ask God to help you. He knows you even better then you know yourself.

1. Am I mad at anyone right now?

2. Do I need to forgive anyone? ( forgiveness is not just to the benefit of the one who wronged you, but it is for you as well. By not forgiving, it is like dragging that person around on your back. That gets heavy)

3. Am I disappointed with someone or something? Is it weighing me down? Can I let go and let God take it?

4.Am I feeling boastful in my heart at all? Do I think I am better then other people?

5. Am I looking out for me more than anyone else? Are my conversations all about my favorite topic- "Me"?

It is pretty popular to do all these Liver Cleanse and you name it "Cleanse". What about a heart and mind cleanse? 

Love yourself enough to take stock of your own heart.

Love yourself enough to care what other people think.

Love yourself enough to know when you are crossing a line and you will live with the consequences of those actions or words. 

You may be reading this and think, no its too late for me. I have blown it too badly. Every day is a new day. New people to meet and new opportunities to make things right. It starts though with being honest with yourself.

Loving other people well is born out of person who loves themselves well. 

"Don't take this personally but..."

 You know when you hear those words you are in trouble. You brace your stomach as if  punch is coming. Words are powerful things. Sometimes people don't realize it. Maybe they thinking for a long time about what they thought would be very helpful for you, or they are speaking out of the emotion of the moment. The challenge facing each one is simply- what are you going to do now?

Words that are hard to "stomach" come to everyone. It is hard to not take it personally. If you are one who is really good at that, well.... hats off to you. I find it hard. I think many people do.

There are some hard truths that need to be spoken. If we are doing or have done something wrong and are unaware of it, we need to hear it. Perhaps something that was said was not received well. Now you bear the fruit of those words. It is good to know the truth and deal with it. Face it, feel it and deal with it. Still not easy, but easier to deal in truth when you can see their point then when you cannot.

It is in the times when you fail to see their point , when they have their facts wrong or it seemed to come out of nowhere. This is when it is particularly tough. 

Regardless of the situation, some kind of a response is needed. It is natural to want to speak back. Sometimes that is what needs to happen. Especially if they have been misinformed. If you can do it calmly then it is a good idea. If you are boiling, you may want to wait a bit. Words spoken when the blood in our viens is "boiling" does not always guarantee the best response. 

When the person says those famos " Don't take this personally" you need to consider that also. Why are they saying at all? Is there anything I need to learn here? 

At times like this, I am better off going home and thinking for awhile. Psalm 37:3-8 is my go-to Psalm at times like these. I think the advice of the Psalmist is good and worthy of consideration. 

Many times, it is God who will ultimately be my defender. Sometimes you just have to take those hard words and leave them with God. Defending yourself just doesn't always work. Hearing the person out(hopefully they don't go on and on), is good. If you listen well, it should mean they will give to you the same courtesy if you do say something. Remember though, saying " thank you I will take your words into consideration" and ending it there is not a bad idea. 

Go, think and pray. God will give you wisdom and still your trembling heart. Read Psalm 37. It really is a great Psalm with some solid advice that has proven true many time in my life and the lives of many others.

Parking Lot Drama

When I was on my way to a gym today, I heard yelling in the parking lot. A young woman and guy were having a loud argument. The guy yelled " what its all my fault?!" That in itself is not big deal. Then guy jumped into his car and began driving away. The 24 or so year old young woman was holding onto the car door pleading with the guy to please let her in the car as he was driving away. She ran along side the car, but could not keep up.

The guy stopped at the exit of the parking lot long enough for the girl to catch up. I thought the guy was cooling down and realized he was being a bit dramatic. No... not so. As soon as the girl caught up to him, he took off again. This poor girl pleading with him as she now ran across the street and followed him. She never did catch up to him. For her sake, I hope she never sees him again. 

I so wanted to chase down the street after the girl and tell her she deserved better. The loss was his, not hers. I don't know what the argument was over, nor who he was. Regardless, that is no way to be respectful to another person regardless of the story. 

I stood and debated what I should do watching this girl disappear down the street. Sadly, I went to the gym and worked out, thinking of the girl. Why do girls allow themselves to be treated like that? Maybe they feel they are not worth better. When I was at the gym yesterday, many of the young women in my Pilates class were singing along to a song called "Won't you stay the night"... I have no idea who sings it. The song says no problem if you just stay the night, no commitment, no ties.... honestly I wanted to be sick right there in class. 

If you are in a dating relationship and being treated poorly, quit while you are ahead. You are worth more. You should not have to chase cars while a guy has a temper tantrum. A guy who cares for you listens and considers what you are saying. You talk. They don't storm away like that. No storming allowed! 

Clearly, this is not permission for high drama for you or I. We need to be respectful. If the respect you show is not being returned to you, it is time to say "see you later". 

God loves you and knows what you need. Look to Him for wisdom- that comes not from magazines or songs on the radio, but from God. James 1:5 says that if we are lacking wisdom, we can ask God who will give it to us. He may not be super quick about it, but wait. He will give it to you. 

Keep Going!

 

 It is easier sometimes to quit then to keep going. Yet what will quitting cost really? What will be missed if quitting is the option that is chosen. It all depends what we are talking about. I am thinking about good things but they are also hard. 

When my husband and I took a trip to Arizona we climbed a few mountains. The temptation to quit for me was pretty high. I don't like the hard work and sweating combination. At one point I thought I was going to faint near the top of the mountain. This one guy saw me and was telling me about a mountain nearby which I should for sure check out. "After all" he says " it is even higher and steeper then this one, sometimes it is straight up". The guys was clearly not getting that at that particular moment, my head was spinning. Steeper climbs was not what I was imagining. Quitting -yes-except at the top of a mountain, you can't ... you have to climb down. Bill was not ready to carry me and nor would my pride allow that!

There was alot of beauty I would have missed had I chosen to not make that climb. It was extrodinary to see all the cactus and enjoy the views! 

There is an old poem I was thinking about. I do not now what you are facing. Perhaps it will inspire you to reconsider.  I got this poem book when I was 16. This has always been a favorite. The author is not listed here in my book so I cannot give credit to its creator.

" When things go wrong, and they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile but have to sigh, 

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must,- but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When we might have won had we stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow-

You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer then 

it seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up 

when he might have captured the victor's cup.

And he learned too late, when the night slipped down.

How close he was to the golden crown. 

Success is failure turned inside out-

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt-

And you can never tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-

It's when things seems worst that you mustn't quit."

Whatever the struggle, don't give up. Not today. God gives strength to those who ask. He gives it for one step at a time. I am cheering for you!

Thinking about 2014

                         Is there anything that needs to change in your life this next year? When you feel stuck and the place you have found yourself is "safe"- it means you need to ask yourself a straight forward question. It is simply this: What are you going to do about it? How long have you been complaining about it? How many people have heard the same old story of what you should really do?

Why not make this the year you are going to do something about it? If you knew you would not fail, would you do it? Is it right? Will you be hurting someone? Is it what is best for you? Is it important? These are just a few questions for you to consider. Grab your journal and think about the fears that may be keeping you stuck. The best way to bring about change is to admit our fears-name them even!

You have to begin somewhere to bring about change. So where do you start? You have to be committed if you are going to be successful. Quitting is not going to get you there.  Perhaps you can ask yourself what do I need to start? I remember when I wanted to lose ten pounds ( and sadly, need to again!) I had to get rid of the food that is bad for me, fill my fridge with the good stuff. Decide baking was off limits. I joined Weight Watchers and worked at my goal- One day at a time, one bite at a time until I reached my goal. Was it fun? No not really, but it was worth it. Now I need to decide am I willing to do the hard work to achieve it again?

How about you? What are you going to do differently this next year? It is so easy to just stay the same. Life is short my friend. We have today and we are not sure what the future holds. Don't keep putting off that important change. No one can do it for you.  

God promises to help us. He cares for us- but that does not mean we are not taking the first step. We are never alone. He gives courage to us when we ask. If you lack wisdom, He promises that also. If you lack strength, He can give you what you need for today. I wish for you a great New Year, with new adventures and obstacles overcome!

Facing the First Christmas without Mom

Loss any time of year is difficult, but that same loss seems to yell at Christmas. My niece Rachel lost her mom this past June. Today she shares her heart with you as she faces her first Christmas without her beautiful mom.

"Saying goodbye to a loved one is a very strange experience, isn't it? It requires that we let them go whether or not we feel ready. And then life changes - where they were, they are no more. Sometimes its hard to know what we are supposed to think, what we are supposed to feel in light of such ginormous change.

Since my Mom passed away in June, I have thought and felt many different things. One of the things I would like to share with you is the fact that she gave me many gifts (and I don't mean presents wrapped and placed under the tree, although she gave me those as well!). She gave me gifts in teaching me how to be a friend, how to use my imagination, how to teach people and how to be an interested learner. And she was an example to me of someone with deep faith in Jesus. What greater gift could there be? Although there were many hard times, I am thankful for the gifts she gave me. And now that she is no longer here, I will remember that God is still here, and He is with her too. As it reminds us in Hebrews 13:5 - " For God has said: 'Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.' "- Rachel

God Bless each of you. Thank you for visiting my blog throughout this past year. See you again in 2014. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.-Donna

Reckless Words

Some words you never forget. Sometimes they are kind words, then there are the other words...not so kind. If words could be given a flavor, it would be cayenne. While the sting of those words diminish over time, the memory does not always. I would love to forget but I have a good memory and those words stick around. I don't think about them and they don't define who I am today, but I remember. 

That is not what is on my heart today. We cannot change words spoken by others years ago or even last week. The only thing we can control is our own words. This season of Christmas and all the other celebrations that take place, allow for many opportunities to visit with people. What we talk about, the stories we share, say alot about who we are and what is really in our hearts. 

I just came back from a Christmas party in our neighborhood and visited with all kinds of poeple I don't know. I went with this thought firmly in my mind... don't say anything you will regret later. I was careful. I listened alot, asked questions.... it all went great.

Proverbs 12:18 says " Reckless words pierce like a sword,but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Our words, no matter how old you are, can bring hope or despair to the listener. May this be a season where we think before we speak and care more about what other people are saying then what we have to say. May we speak sincerely and bring words of hope. It is always amazing to meet people who bring hope and healing in the words they speak.

Amidst the laughter and fun, remember to think of the power of your words.  

"Not on The List"

Christmas season is coming really fast. There are lots of parties. There are also, many who sit home, uninvited. How does that feel? It is not easy, especially when it happens all the time. What may surprise you is this happens to many people at sometime in their lives. This is not new.

The next question is what are you going to do about it. You could crash the party. Personally, I would not have the courage to do that and wouldn't. You could sit home, acknowledge the hurt and either stew in it or find something meaningful to do. Like what you say?

Who is out there that is possibly in the same boat as you? Is there anyone? I remember once I was pretty blatantly "left out", I was rolling in the self pity pretty bad. Then I got tired of it.I prayed and forgave those who had slighted me. Then I thought about the group home where I was volunteering at the time. I knew those kids love when people come play games with them. So, that is what I did. I had a blast. 

"Stinking Thinking" leads us pretty fast into a muddy ditch and leaves us there. Is that really where we want to be? If "stinking thinking" leads us there, then thinking differently leads us out. While it was the circumstance that may have helped you get there, it is the thinking that determines where we find ourselves. 

It is not easy to do that but it seems like when we keep replaying whatever wrong was done, it keeps us stuck there. The trap really is self pity and that just is not a good place to be, even if you did deserve to be invited. No doubt you feel hurt, but honestly, what are you going to do about it?

How we respond when these things happen says a lot about who we really are. My best advice is forgive and leave it. Find something meaningful to do that will be a blessing to someone else. Don't do things with the expectation of getting back. 

God is the source of love. If your heart feels short on love, ask Him to fill your heart with His love. I Corinthians 13:4-7 reminds us of the look of love lived out. It is never more noticeable then when you feel hurt and left out. Gods love is patient and kind. His love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and keeps no record of wrongs.Love never gives up. Read the whole passage and you will see what I mean. On our own living this kind of love when we don't feel like it is pretty tough. Ask Jesus to fill you with this kind of love and forgive those who have hurt you. 

Maybe throw your own party and make sure everyone is included. Have fun!

"Watch and Weep"

Imagine watching someone you love, week after week harm themselves. Outside of praying, you are powerless to stop them. With most diseases, it does not have a self inflicted look to it. That is where alcoholism is different. 

In all the reading I have done as well as growing up attending Alateen, I read that alcoholism is a disease. These people do not ask for it nor do they want it. It is a compulsion that goes beyond anything I can relate to. I remember leading a recovery group for alcoholics and they asked me, " Donna what are you addicted to?" they all looked at me with hopeful eyes. I had to tell them, beyond two chocolate chip cookies in a row, I honestly don't have that struggle. They assumed everyone did. I for sure have my struggles as we all do, addiction just is not one of them.

It is painful to watch them though. I remember my heart sinking to my boots when I would walk in the door from school, there in the hallway was a twelve case of beer. Dad would be six bottles in. The evening would get worse before it got better. The familiar knot in my stomach would return. My appetite to eat was zero. 

I learned that arguing with them was pointless. Making them feel guilty, was not helpful. They tend to feel like zeros already. My witty remarks were unhelpful. If sobriety was attained by family members yelling and making the alcoholic feel guilty, we would have more sober alcoholics around.

To carry on with anger and layering the guilt on is to just add to the problem. You can dump the alcohol but they will find more. You need to be silent. Arguing with a drunk is never profitable. You wait, perhaps an opportunity will arise when they bring up their problem. When they are really sick of their addiction, then they will seek help and not before. 

Family members and good friends of an alcoholic would do well to educate themselves well, just as you would would if it were diabetes or cancer. No one hopes when they grow up, they will become an alcoholic. AlAnon and Alateen are two of the best sources I know. They have groups all over the city, any city. Check it out if this blog is something you relate to personally.

I have always run to Jesus as my comfort in the middle of storms, whatever the storm. He has been my comfort and strength for many years. He does not take away every struggle, but He does give wisdom and strength to get through it. If you read Psalm 121, that will bring some comfort to a troubled heart.

Thankfulness-An Anti-Acid for the Heart

It is not hard to be thankful on the sunny bright days, when everything seems just right. What about when there are hardships; you feel you have been wronged or disappointment seems to be knocking at your door daily?What place does thankfulness have in the middle of all that?

A thankful heart is a doorway into new thinking in the middle of everything else that is screaming at you. I have practised this. I am shocked at the difference it makes. When I get up in the morning, feeling heavy hearted over whatever is dragging my heart down, I put on the song "10,000 Reasons for My heart to Sing" Matt Redman sings it. That song as I beleive it, has ushered my heart into a new place.

God tells us in His Word that in everything we must give thanks. " Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation,by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". Philippians 4:5-7.

God's peace trully is an anti-acid for our soul. He calms the fears that grip us. Giving thanks is part of this journey. Somedays, I have to conciously make a decison to give thanks because it is contrary to what I am feeling. Again, it ushers me to a new place. 

Today, may our day be full of giving thanks to God no matter what the circumstance. Through it, you will find peace for the day.

Hollywood Secrets?

Hollywood promotes creams that replace botox. They promote eating styles that will change your life. If you are miseralbe today, the solution might be expensive, but it is for sale. 

The struggles of the heart are many and varied no matter how old you are. People long to feel accepted and know they matter. There is no diet that will do that, nor a face-cream that will usher this reality to anyone. No one loves you more because you changed your face-cream or how you eat (if you eat badly, your body may thank you!).

I remember well, trying to "fit in" at school. It is not easily done if you lack confidence to say hello and just ask questions of the people around you- "how are you?" and really mean it. If you feel stupid and think that no one wants to talk to you, that is a problem.

For me, what finally made the difference was pretty simple. I came to be ok with just being me. In Alateen I learned the Serenity Prayer which says " God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." I looked at the kids in my class and what cool looked like, they smoked and drank. I tried the smoking thing. I did not much like it. I honestly thought it was stupid. The drinking thing just looked plain awful. I heard about the throwing up and people that did things they regretted- or could not remember it. None of it sounded very cool to me. 

So, I went for something different. I chose humour and kindness. I could manage both of those pretty well and it worked. Even if you are not funny but can tell a good story, that helps. My husband Bill was not the funniest guy on the planet. He learned a funny joke every week. He even practised it in his head so he could tell it given the opportunity. Sounds silly, but it worked. As for being kind, just genuinely caring for people who ever they are , is a big deal. 

Be patient. Hollywood offers a lot of empty solutions. Their quick fixes are not fixes but lies. They won't really help you. It is surface stuff. 

God made you just the way you are. Go look in the mirror and make a decision. You are you, no one else can be you or do exactly everything you do. You will be able to help people that I never could or anyone else for that matter. You are important. Your life matters today. In Psalm 139:14 says you are "fearfully and wonderfully made". Today you will accept all kinds of lesser things as truth, why not accept this important one. You are made wonderfully! Now that is good news!

The struggle with God's Forgiveness and The Alcoholic

To believe that you are so horrible and your deeds or sins so wretched ushers in the lie that you are far too unworthy to receive the forgiveness of God- let alone be loved by Him.

I have lost count how many Alcoholics or addicts I have met over the years who believe this lie to be true. It is the lie that keeps some of them  drinking or doing drugs. There is the addiction aspect for certain, but when you dig down, the sense of unworthiness will often be uncovered. 

In the old hymn "The Love of God" it says that God's love reaches down into the lowest hell. I believe this truth with my whole heart. I prayed for years that my dad or my brother would believe it too. Perhaps towards the end of their lives they did believe it. I do not know for sure. 

John Newton was a slave trader born 1725 and lived until December 1807. He spent years as a heavy drinker, some books say he was also a gambler. He considered himself an athiest though he was taught as a young boy about Jesus from his mother. He lived a wretched life, ruining his own life and the lives of many others. When he was at sea, a huge storm came and the ship was sinking, it was then he began to call out to God for help. 

His journey of faith was what lead him to write an old favorite hymn of many " Amazing Grace". It is a potent truth he penned in that old hymn. He was a man who knew that it was indeed "amazing grace" that gave to him, once and for all the peace and forgiveness his heart longed for. 

God's grace and forgiveness is offered to all of us. He looks for the heart that is willing to turn away from that which is destroying their lives and confess their sins before God. Then the harder part it seems is to receive the forgiveness God is offering and then- to forgive themselves. This can be the hardest part but crucial in the healing of the troubled should regardless of the brokenness that brought you to His feet. 1 John 1:9 we read God's promise of His full forgiveness. There is  no list attached to the verse explaining who is excluded. It is for everyone who comes.

The Beauty of Thanksgiving Among the Poor

Last week at our weekly supper at church,  I served coffee, tea and hot chocolate to about one hundred and fifty  homeless and street involved people. I was not suprised that they said thank you, but rather how they said it. I knew they meant it all the way down to their toes.

Over that passed several years of working with these dear people, there are a few " thanksgiving" encounters that stand out in my memory.

 I remember one cold winter day, one guy came up, his feet were a mess. His boots were rotted by salt and the wet slushy snow of downtown Toronto streets. We told him we had a parish nurse who would care for his feet. While our wonderful nurse cared for his very sore feet, we went in searchof  new ( new to him) boots and brand new socks. When the guy came out with his new boots and socks he was ecstatic. He could not say thank you enough. I have never seen such joy and celebration over one pair of socks and boots in my life.

Another evening we had the privilege of handing out a few hand knit sweaters to some of the street involved friends we know well. One lady had been struggling with breast cancer. When I gave her this sweater, her eyes filled with tears. She felt like a million bucks. She knew that she mattered and was so thankful. That sweater is her most prized of all the clothing she owns. She said no one had ever knit her a sweater in her life. I think the wonderful ladies who did the knitting, had equal joy in making these sweaters for these people. 

One night was kind of funny in a weird sort of way. A guy came up after our meal was done, chapel service was all packed up and we were cleaning. All he had on was a cement bag around his waist. That was it. Not even socks! This does not happen often (I feel I need to tell you). He begged us to open the clothing rooms that were now all packed up. Of course we did. We found him everything he needed. Sadly no underwear, we were out of them by that time of night. They are a very popular item! Was he thankful? Yes he was. What happened to his clothes. We did not ask. Some things are better off not knowing!

It is good for us all to be thankful for the big and the small things that enrich all of our lives. Maybe on this weekend of Thanksgiving we will take a moment to say thank you for as much as we are able! In God's word we are told many times to give thanks... and we all have much to be thankful for.

Thank you for reading today! Happy Thanksgiving!

Drunk Again

I remember my 16th birthday for one thing, my dad showed up drunk. I remember the embarrassment I felt in front of my friends. I do not remember now even who the friends were or what we did, only my dad. I was angry with him. Though I know my anger accomplishes nothing. 

Every week, there was a knot in my stomach that would grow. I found eating made me feel sick. I knew my dad had been sober a few days and he was due to drink again. I would dread coming home from school. Anger,fear and deep sadness would walk home with me .I would open the door and there in the hall is the 12 pack- it was open. He would be 3 beers in. Not too bad yet. As the evening went on, the classical music would be on, I would be forced to listen to it as he felt it would make me ... I have no idea what. I hated classical music for years. Just hearing it would put a knot in my stomach. 

How do you navigate life when you are watching someone you love so much,destroy themselves week after week? They spend money the family does not have. They wreck what could have been a nice evening home...again. They disappoint you and say horrible things.

There is no simple answer that is for sure. Fighting with them just gives them an excuse and ridiculous proof in their minds that they have a right to drink and get drunk because look at what they have put up with at home. Making them feel worthless is not helpful, most alcoholics I know feel more then worthless all ready. No amount of cleaning or nice things you try to do for them is going to stop the from drinking.  I wish it would work like that. But it does not. 

Unless they want to quit really bad, stop blaming and take responsibility nothing is going to stop them. Alcoholism is a family disease. It affects every person,sometimes right down to the cat or dog who hide when the drinker comes homes drunk. They even know to get out of the way. 

I know sometimes people use something called intervention. I cannot talk much about it as I know very little on the topic. I do know that when an alcoholic is sick of the mess of their lives and the devastating effect it is having on others, then quitting becomes an possible. Alcoholics Anonymous remains in my mind one of the best  programs available. The rehabilitation programs are good but if the individual does not keep going to AA it is very likely they will relapse. It has to be part of their life. They need to learn to think differently among other things..like dealing with life honestly.

I will never discount however the power of prayer. I know that through my prayers, God in His kindness has reached down into the lives of those I love and rescued them. Jesus was and is my comfort and my strength. He gave me wisdom to navigate difficult paths then and ever since. In the book of Psalms it says that God is a  very present help in times of trouble. I can tell you that is true. 

If you are in trouble today, whatever kind of trouble, invite Him into the middle of it. He will not make every problem go away,but He does give wisdom to you if you seek Him with your whole heart. 

My Top Ten Reasons for Poor Decisions

1. Fear can be a poor leader.Fear can prevent us from really seeing the truth that is obvious to others.

2. Feeling hurt or wounded,can really lead us down a path we may regret very quickly.

3.Pressure or not enough time to condsider the difference/consequences this decision can truly make on you or those you love.

4. Bordom-does not always dictate a wise decison.

5.Anger is a very dangerous place to make wise choices!

6. Decisions based souly on the experience of another

7. Failure to ask God what He thinks and taking the time to listen to His response.

8. Wanting to rescue or to be a hero is a poor reason to make a big decision. It is good to be kind but you still need your decisions to be based out of the proper motivation. We need to ask ourselves the right questions.

9. Being tired or overwhelmed-both lead to decisions that are not necessarily the best for you or for others.

10. The default mode- does not mean the decision is the best one for today. Take the needed time to consider truly if this is indeed the smartest move for right now.

In a time where everything is seemingly in the fast lane, demands and a kind heart can lead to bad decisons. Perhaps this week, take the time to reflect  on why you make the decisions you make. If I forgot a glaring reason, (and it will not shock me if I did) do not hesitate to add your toughts in the comment section. 

Have a great day! God Bless you and lead you in your decisions that face you today.

White Knuckle Trusting

Bowing your head to say thank you for the food sitting right there in front of you, is not nearly as hard as when there is none to speak of. When was the last time you had to trust God for something that was no where in sight?

When we first moved to Toronto, Bill and I were nicer or perhaps more niave then we are today. I was running a group for recovering alcocholics and addicts and became good friends with the folks there. One of the guys loved guitar. I offered him( asked Bill first of course) to borrow Bill's guitar. I trusted God and this guy that we would see the guitar again. It was the one Bill used every Sunday to lead worship. He did not have a closet full of them.

Well... weeks passed, I prayed ferverently. I knew that Bill really loved that guitar. So , I prayed more. I prayed scripture, you name it, i did it. Never did have we seen that guitar again. 

While that was a huge loss to Bill, he was given another...not quite as amazing but amazing none the less. We were grateful.

Praying over that old guitar does not touch the agony of prayer for loved ones who are making bad choices and even seriously endangering their lives. Perhaps you know exactly what I am talking about. 

I have agonized in prayer for my dad, then my brother then a kid or two of mine. It takes alot of faith and trust some days I tell you. 

One particualarly rough night I was praying for one of my boys and the Lord spoke to me. He said only a few words but that was all I needed. He said" I do not abandon the  work of My Hands". He has heard my prayers and all my sighs. Those dear to our hearts cannot escape His sight. There is nowhere they can go, where The Good Shepherd cannot be. 

The comfort that the Lord Jesus gives to me, honestly, I can hardly describe to you. I have walked some pretty rough pathways these last months. God does not abandon us. He never forgets His own. He does not answer us every time the exact way we had in mind, but He does answer. Not mater what, He will meet us if we ask Him. He longs to do that simply because He loves us. 

Redirected!

This is Macy. She loves this little train thing. She walks behind it, pushing it down our street with a big smile on her face. That is until she pushed it onto the grass and her progress was stopped! Her nose scrunched up and she was not happy. Help was needed to get this adventure back on the road. I thought about how we are a bit like Macy. Road blocks of all kinds come our way.

She was in a hurry to keep pushing this train down the sidewalk. What I found most curious was the small corrections I made of the steering wheel which prevented her from pushing the train back onto the grass. She did not even notice. I love this little girl and want to see her succeed in her task. She was not even aware of the many little adjustments I was making along the way.

You have to wonder, how many adjustments does God make for you in a day? You very possibly don't even notice His quiet intervention. He sets up meetings that would never have happened - some would call that chance, I call it God- who loves you so much. You matter to Him and His heart is for you.

I took great pleasure in helping Macy not get stuck on the grass. God is not unlike that. He loves to lead His people.

Yet, sometimes I did let Macy get stuck up on that grass. She was going too fast and would have fallen on the sidewalk and that would not have felt good. Sometimes God allows us to get "stuck on the grass" as well. He is driven by love and sees what we do not. Isaiah 43:4a- says this" Since you are precious and honoured in my sight,and because I love you...His love is not a casual love. Rather it is a love that is deeper and more powerful then the greatest love you have known on this earth. This God, who loves you like that, directs your steps.

Sometimes we find ourselves stuck "on the grass" and for good reason, though we cannot see it at the time. He asks you and I to trust Him still. One of the hardest places to trust God is when we find ourselves in that "stuck and waiting kind of place". It is not hard to feel forgotten by God and others when we are in this place. You are not forgotten. He will not abandon you. Wait for Him. He will instruct you in the way you should go. Everyone finds themselves "stuck on the grass" at some point. You are not the first.

"We can make our plans,but the Lord determines our steps"Proverbs 16:9(NLT)

Discerning when a "word or dream " is from God

I have been riveted by some things I have heard said among Christians. They are words that sound spiritual for sure...sort of like something in the Bible,but they are not.

Over the years I have had dreams that seemed like God was warning me of something, twice in particular. Both times the dreams left me fearful and paranoid. 

I have looked to people over the years to speak into my life. Many times their words have brought great encouragement to my heart. I was strengthened and built up in my faith.

Yet, it is not always this way. I have received hard words from people. Yet, I knew God was in it. The word, though difficult to to hear,challenged me to make a wrong right between my self and another and ultimately God.

Then there are the hard words when God is no where near it. It discourages and my heart feels very heavy.Sometimes all I feel is panic threatning to rise and confusion dancing all over my heart.

How can we know when something we have heard or dreamt is from God?

You will know it by its fruit. In the book of James chapter 3:13-17- it is laid out for us. Humility is present always. What is given from a heart that is holding onto bitter envy and selfish ambition breed wisdom that is earthly and feelings of guilt,confusion and anxiety follow quickly on its heals.

Yet a word that is truly from God will never contridict what He says in His word. James 3:17 says that wisdom from God is " first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate,submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."

If someone comes to you claiming they have a "word" for you, remember the fruit that anything that God brings to us will possess fruit which reflect Christ. Jesus delivered some pretty tough words to people, but humility was always present. His life was full of good deeds, done in humility. It is out of a heart filled with His love that life giving words are spoken.

That dream I had years ago haunted me and scared me deeply. A wise person reminded me to look at the fruit this dream was producing. Peace was absent. It produced only confusion. I dismissed this as nothing more then a nightmare.

 As comments or words are received, they need to be thought and prayed through carefully. If it has grabbed your heart and emotions, examine the fruit which becomes evident. Then you will be able to discern how to respond.