Stumbling Along

When I was in the supermarket I bought a bag of wonderful candies. They were so good! I loved sneaking one when Bill was not looking. Yet he also had to listen to me complain about the fat I see on myself. He is pretty tired of hearing about it let me tell you. I know that I am my own worse enemy and I needed to deal with this. So, yesterday morning I threw all the candies I had not consumed in the garbage.

We all have things we stumble over- whether it is simple as bad snacking to something that makes the journey of your life very difficult. Stumbling blocks like the inability to forgive or a tendency to see the negative when the positive stands so nearby if you would look just a wee bit harder. 

For me I have a variety of stumbling blocks. Just when I have dealt with one, there is another one to stub my toe on! Last week I felt like God pointed out to me how I find it hard to let people go. Friendships change and people make choices I do not like. Yet they have the freedom to make them. Sometimes that includes me stepping aside and trusting them into the care of God. I find this hard to do so it becomes a stumbling block. 

Last week God in His gentle way pointed this out to me. When I finally took the time to listen, I was able to talk it over with Him and give this matter to Him-taking my hands off. 

The thing is you can never remove a stumbling block unless you are willing to acknowledge their presence. God is very patient Shepherd and willing to wait for us. If we wonder at times about our slow progress perhaps it is because there is a stumbling block on your path and you are not seeing it. 

James is likely my favorite book in the bible. In the first chapter, verse 5 any of us whom lack wisdom are invited to ask God who gives generously to all and does this without finding fault.

The Lord is our burden bearer. Stumbling blocks not dealt with become burdens. Jesus offers to carry our burdens, but that means we need to acknowledge them, ask for forgiveness when we need to and then give them over. May times the Lord has pointed out to me I needed to take my hands off in order for Him to really take it. 

May God give to you straight pathways today. May He give you courage to see what may be blocking your path and the faith to surrender it to Him.

A Little Less Rushing Please!

When my mom passed away, she left this slider rocking chair. It is really comfortable but the cover on the cushions was hideous. So, I decided to recover the cushions. If this project was going to be an IQ test, I would have failed. 

The cushions are all done, but I see I should have made them bigger and they are not straight either, so now the cushions bend in a strange way. What I should have done is humbled myself and asked for a wee bit of help. Now this lesson is right there on my deck, reminding me... I didn't.

If I can keep this silliness to just cushions, I will be doing well. But, life is too big for that.  

When I rush into my day with all kinds of situations and fail to have stopped to really check in with God and listened for His direction for the day. I find myself in circumstances I did not prepare myself well for. My responses lack wisdom or discernment.I have found that the days I take the time to read the Bible and reflect on what God is saying to me, affects everything that follows. 

I have a ready encouragement for someone in need. I have the wisdom to stay quiet rather then speak or maybe I have the grace available to extend to another.

Slowing down, preparing for the day, helps me to not rush to my own fix it ways. Otherwise my day looks more like my cushions on my slider rocker and that is just plain embarrassing. 

We will not get today or yesterday back. Choose to start your day wisely, acknowledging the need we have for direction from the One who is indeed all- wise. 

Stormy Days

 It was a beautiful day when my husband Bill and I started our walk. We enjoyed the sunshine, but did notice the storm which was quickly approaching. The wind kicked up suddenly when we were a few blocks from home. When the rain started we were soaked through within a minute. We were running as fast as we could. Bill grabbed my hand and was dragging me along.

Left One day Jesus and His disciples had spent the entire day with people. Jesus had taught many people really important things on all different topics. It would be like a long day at a conference with one speaker, sharing excellent and informative things all day long.Then He fits in healing a whole bunch of people.  Now it is time to go home. 

So, the main speaker who was Jesus, tells his ministry team (the disciples) to get into the boat and take them to the other side. He was going to go to the back of the boat and take a snooze. He must have been pretty tired as He went to sleep pretty fast by the sounds of things. 

The storm seemed to kick up pretty quickly and these disciples were managing pretty good I imagine. After all, some of them at least had spent their lives on the sea as they were fishermen before they met Jesus! Well, when the waves were so high they were breaking over the side of the boat and  rowing was not easy. That was it, they thought they were doomed. In a panic they did what I would have done, they woke up Jesus. 

Lord, don't you see, we are going to drown here! How can you sleep through our terrible struggles, You are bigger then this storm! Make it stop! I am terrified and I hate being terrified! Jesus woke up and spoke to them, rebuking them for their lack of faith then spoke to the  wind and the waves and it stopped! The disciples could honestly say, they had never seen anything like this before. 

It is curious that Jesus chose not to say" Sorry my disciples for not waking up sooner" rather He rebukes them for their lack of faith. After all He said they were going to the other side. Somehow the strength of the wind and the hieght of those waves just knocked everything the Lord said to them before they started out, right out of their heads. 

Sometimes, life is like that. We go through storms of all kinds, and we know just how those disciples felt. Jesus, don't you see me? Don't you see how steep the climb is and how tired I am? 

What is it Jesus was really looking for from His disciples?

It was a willingness to endure the storm and trust His word that they were going to the other side, regardless of how bad things might look. 

Jesus is the one who calls us to  "walk by faith and not by sight". To trust Him for each moment. When a storm is really bad, you get through it trusting Jesus one minute at a time. If you are familiar with suffereing you will know of what I speak. By His grace and strength, we get through. We did not think we would all the time, but we did. We are here to tell the story. 

Maybe this week is one of thoes kinds of weeks for you. The wind and the rain is crazy all around you and it seems Christ is asleep in the back of the boat. The Bible tells us in Matthew 28:20" I am with you always, even
to the end of the age." He is with you. Wherever you find yourself, He is there.

The One who stilled the waves and made the wind stop, is with you. He is asking you to trust Him to get you to the other side. He is faithful and will do it. You can read this story of Jesus and His disciples and the storm in Matthew 8:23-27.

For the Stuck in the Mud Days

When the phone should be ringing or that email should arriving but instead there is only silence. What is our response? It is very easy to become discouraged. For some people it is the first response. What else is there?

 

 God's waiting room seems to be a place we all have to live. We get one thing all figured out finally and without warning, here you are again. Whether it is a job you are looking for or a relationship that stands on shaky legs. There are all kinds of reasons we find us in this old waiting room. No one is exempt. The outcome of all that waiting can be amazing it but it can also be plain old disappointing. 

We can easily become discouraged and fearful. It is like they are the occupants seated on either side of you. They take turns whispering in your ears. 

I find God does His deepest work in His waiting room. He finally  has my attention. All my efforts to resolve things have not worked. I did my best and I am out of ideas. It is  times like these that scripture that says " Be still and know that I am God" come racing to the forefront of my mind.  

If I were to put it more accurately in the words I think God is saying to me it would be more like this."Give up Donna. I know what I am doing and what you need. I AM big enough for this problem. Trust Me. While you may feel forgotten, I do not forget you. My ways are not your ways, nor are My thoughts your thoughts. Rest because I AM God."

We may not understand what is going on, but God does. He sees you and your circumstances. The One who has always been sees you and has indeed seen situations like yours before. It is not new for Him. He is all wise and all powerful. And He loves you every day. 

Don't be discouraged. Go- wash the mud off your feet. You are not without hope. There is One who is bigger then you and I. 

Signs that this new guy/girl you just met is not a keeper

Not every date you have should be a repeat event. It is hard to know really what are the signs though of great potential in a relationship? I have compiled a list for you if you are interested.

1. The person describes for you all the people they have not gotten along with or hate.

2.They cleary are not good at forgiving. Why? Because the day will come when you will need their forgiveness because none of us are perfect.

3. They require 90%-100% of your attention. What do I mean? You must be available for each and every text, phone call email they send you. They want to see you daily. It may be nice for the first week, but you still have a life you would like to live.

4. You feel like you are always in trouble- having to explain...

5.You cannot talk heart to heart. Partly because they are still talking about themselves and their world and are not interested in yours. Move on!! 

6.The things you do bore them and the things that fascinate them bore you. Not the right fit no matter how good looking they are.

7. If you have been dating for awhile and the relationship feels like leftovers in the fridge. 

8. Even a dating relationship should challenge you to be the best you can be. The sun shines brighter because they are in your life. You want to be your best and they believe in you and you them. If this is not the case, then this is not right for you.

9. They seem to be alergic to working. 

10.They do not like your family or friends. ( unless of course your friends are really not making you better but leading you down dark paths

11. If you are a Christian, so should they be. Without question. The person that God has chosen for you, is someone who loves Him just as you do.

12. They do not treat you well, they insult you or speak disrespectfully of you. Pass.

May God lead you my young friend. You are special and someone would be blessed to date you. Cheering for you. Donna

The Best Dating Advice I gave to my sons

I started young with my boys, some would call it brainwashing I guess. Whatever it was, it seemed to work. I think my two youngest were 4-5 years old when i asked them my first question. The conversation went like this. We were in my kitchen, I had just given them a choclate chip cookie....

me: Ok boys, say you meet a very nice girl when you are much older.

them: Yes mommy

me: you bring them home and introduce them to mommy.

them: yes mommy

me: but the girl does not really like mommy, what should you do?

them: we don't know mommy

me: never bring them home again and make it the last time you date them.

them: ok mommy.

I also told them:

me: so you see this pretty girl,

them: yes mommy

me: see how they are dressed and ask yourself " can I afford them:?

them: why mommy

me: if you cannot afford their outfit, you are not going to be able to afford them when you marry them either.

Another conversation.

me: Boys, if you feel like you can afford them, then you need to find out do they really love Jesus. This is very important.

them: okay mommy

me: boys, you need to know that they really love Jesus, just like you do.

them: okay mommy

Continuing on this topic

me: boys, the girl needs to help you become the best man you can be. She needs to cheer for you and believe in you when no one else does. She should speak respectfully to you and treat you with kindness right from the start.

them: okay mommy

Lastly:

me: boys, you need to love them the way daddy loves me. You need to stand by her, treat her like the gift that she is. You need to be faithful to her and honour her in every way. Okay boys?

them: yes mommy

This conversation continued for years to come. It is not a perfect method, but it was my way. It seems to have worked so far!

I remember one time one of the boys was interested in a girl who wore less clothing in the daytime then I wear at night. I asked this teenage son " could you bring her to the farm to meet Oma and Opa?' He thought about it for a moment, "no mom, that would be embarrassing." That ended it even if she was beautiful and claimed to be a follower of Jesus.

The best thing a parent to be with their children is not be afraid to be honest, speak when it seems right and be good at listening. It helps if we apoligize when we blow it also. Lastly, when kids are young they have much more willingness to listen. When they become teens or even in their twenties, you only have a sentence. They don't like lectures though we love to give them, Makes your few words count and pray!

The Incident Room

When I was praying the other day, the Lord showed me something of my own heart which surprised me. Perhaps you will identify with me? I had this room I kept way back in my heart. It was dark and dusty. I had NO idea it was even there. In the rooom were a few dusty barrels with roots growing out of them.

I was more then surprised to see them there. Surely Lord, I thought I kept such short accounts with You?! What are thes barrels then? " Memories of people who have hurt you and have left you feeling abonded. people who you have loved and made choices you do not agree with". Really Lord? I thought I had dealt with all this stuff. "No" the Lord said, "you have not, you have just put them into storage." Really? What are the roots then? He told me " those are roots of bitterness and malice?" Really?!!

 said "Invite me to come and remove these from you, and clean out all this dust. Let me fill it with my love and mercy, but first you know what you must do."

I do... I asked the Lord for His forgiveness and acknowleged the truth He showed me. I asked Him to come and clean out this "Incident Room". 

What difference has it made you ask me? I have not forgotten what happened but I can tell you my friend, that the emotion is not anger but mercy. I feel lighter and more hopeful and more alive then I have for awhile.

I hope this had made sense to you and maybe it can help someone else who has their own "Incedent Room".

The Power of our Words

There is alot in the news these days about words and freedom of speech. It is difficult to ignore. The Pope makes the point that we should not insult peoples faith. Some faiths, are very vocal and put actions into play to back up their point. We saw this last week in Paris. The tragic loss over life no doubt, yet in the minds of those responsible for the killing, they defended what was most precious to them. 

Imagine a magazine that rather then satire,where there is nothing sacred, what would happen  if they were aimed at being life giving, encouraging? The humour would  reflect the silliness of some of our more foolish lies we believe. For example, the belief that owning more will bring contentment and happiness. The sad truth in all this; would they sell even one paper? They would actually, because I would buy it!

We live in a world and time in history, where there is very little believed to be sacred outside of our freedom to say whatever comes to mind. In Canada, it is always wise to be politically correct as demonstrated by the whole "Happy Holidays" thing. I like to say Merry Christmas.... I try to be sensitive. Honestly the whole thing bugs me. 

It is curious what society holds dear and what they feel is free to mock and share with the world.

Words are powerful things, actions even more so. Isaiah 50:4 says this " The Sovereign Lord has given me His words of wisdom,so that I may know Him and comfort the weary. Morning by morning He wakens me and opens my understanding to His will".

Imagine a world that practiced this daily? How different the cartoons would look- how different the conversations that take place in coffee shops the world over would sound. Conversation and perspective which is infused with the grace and the wisdom of God- bring life. 

How are your conversations going these days? What do they say about what is in your heart?

Our words and actions reflect what is in our hearts, no matter what you believe.

10 Things I cannot change

.  The Beyond Me List of Things I cannot change.

1. I cannot  change other people- as much as I would like to sometimes! I cannot heal them of their sicknesses but I can pray for them. 

2. I cannot make people stop parking in front of my house and all down our road- that is life in Toronto.

3. I cannot change how good chocolate tastes and how it so consistantly calls to me- perhaps I could stop answering the call!

4. I cannot change the past. I cannot alter conversations I wish I never had or altrenatively, wish I had them.

5. I cannot change how old I am or all the perks or quirks that come with it. 

6. I cannot how much people like me or do not like me- I can choose to be kind no matter what though

7. I cannot change some of the trends I see in society. Even though they bug me. At least I do not have to agree.

8. I cannot make everyone love my cooking or baking- not that I hear complaints

9. I cannot change the willingness of others to forgive me or other people, but I can choose to forgive.

10. I cannot change how other people speak, but I can be mindful of how I speak.

It is an important life lesson to know what you can and cannot change. We waste qulite a bit of energy and emotion on things we cannot change, especially other people. It is a great and sunny day when we finally admit, there are some things in this life that are and always will be beyond us. We can leave them to themselves or give them to God on a daily basis. I find this the most helpful. Situations I would love to change, but cannot, I give to God also. I need a someone bigger then me every day, I choose to go to the One who is always bigger and loves me and loves you...every day.

Serenity in the Storm

 I love to be in control of the things happening in my life,especially the bad stuff. That is not so unusual is it? The problem is the size of the storm facing us is often well beyond anything I can manage. We cannot stop a storm which we see approaching can we?                                               

 
I have faced my fair share of stormy weather in my life. Most of us have. Bill and I have been campers for years. We have camped through some pretty wicked storms. It was not easy nor pleasant at the time. Bill always liked to remind me how these experiences were shaping my character. Not the best advice in the moment!

These are not the storms I am thinking about today, rather it is people. The ones who are making you crazy  or tearing your heart out by the choices they are making. You want them to listen, change their ways! Sounds resonalble to me! Do they not care about how their choices are affecting other people..maybe ruining their own lives?

How can we make people change? If we are not talking about young children, it is pretty hard. When you have friends that you wish you could change,you really are faced with the imposible. The only person you can change is still you.

Perhaps you are a parent of a teen or adult child who is making very poor choices. Your heart feels like has sunk to your toes. 

The Author of Peace is Jesus. We need peace in the storms of life. We need wisdom to navigate these rough waters, this crazy weather. Often there is no clear path in these situations. You are not alone my friend. Many people are living through something very similar to you. 

The one person you can change is you. Take a hard look at yourself and ask what could I be doing to contribute to this situation? Sometimes we are contributing without realizing. I heard about one mom just yesterday. She desperately wants her son to walk with God. He actually has a soft heart towards God but his mom preaches at him incessently and it turns him off. 

Parents need to know that there comes a day, when lectures "talks" that last a long time and are one sided, do not go far. Really you have about two sentences. Make them count. Kids also need to know they are being heard. 

Bill and I have walked through our own dark valleys over the years, wishing we could drastically change someone very dear to us. We could not. All the talking, begging, looks of disappointment did not do it. We prayed and waited for God to intervene. It took some time. The storm was not short, but slowly it has passed. The clouds return sometimes, but we go to God. 

Every situation is different clearly. This is how we deal with stoms though. God is our strength and source of wisdom, He is still the Good Shepherd on the pathway, even when it is stormy and we cannot see where we are going. This one thing we know and hold onto  : God is bigger and more then able to walk with us through every storm. 

God is big enough to walk with you through whatever you are facing. He loves you and is waiting to help you. Call to Him, read the Psalms and Proverbs. There is no shortage of comfort and wisdom waiting for you. The Bible is brimming over with everything you need to survive the storms.

We are not without hope.

The Snacking Nightmare Needs to Stop!

The other day I stepped on the scale and almost had a heart attack. When courage overtakes me and I step on the scale, it is first thing in the morning and with no clothes on of course. My snacking has caught up with me I am afraid.

There are millions of diet books out there, programs you can join, the truth is, we know what needs to happen. Chips and chocolate, two of my favorite foods that I hope God has in heaven, do contain alot of calories. How is it that we humans can figure out how to land people on the moon but can't make decent low calorie good tasting chips or chocolate? There is the baked chips... I know. I tried them, no thank you. I want the real deal please. Kettle chips if you must know. 

Diets work as long as you are on them, we all know this, especially if you actually follow it. Then the wieght comes off and we go back to the way of LBD- Life Before Diet. What we need is just new smarter habits, at least that is what I need.

Any way, back to my idea. I read this article by this guy who learned to stop complaining. Also a good idea, but not for this time. He put a special band on his wrist that said something inspirational on it about not complaining. Everytime he complains he switches the band from one wrist to the other. The goal,is to keep the band on the same wrist. This worked for him. It took some time because he was good at complaining as many of us are, sadly.

Well, who says we cannot try his idea on snacking? Grab an elastic band that is not too small, every time you snack on something that God did not grow on a tree, in the ground or on a vine, you need to switch wrists. Chips do not grow in the ground even if they were originally a potatoe. Chocolate, unless it is the 70% dark chocolate kind and you can manage just a peice, really the rest of it is just going to add to calories you are trying to not add to your day.

I am a terrible snacker. I eat healthy meals. I don't drink alot of pop, and drink a resonable amount of water. My problem really is snacking. Desserts every night is bad also. It does not help that my husband who is a runner, is the pretty much the same perfect wieght as the day I married him, and that was more then two weeks ago- try 31 years ago! He can eat ANYTHING and it changes nothing!

I am on day 4 of not snacking on bad things- mostly not snacking. I am trying to stick to fruit - it is a novel idea I know. So, we shall see. I need to look amazing by the time my youngest son Michael gets married in June. So, I have time to create a new smarter habit I can live with and not just for a few months, but until God calls me home. 

There is this thing called "Mindful eating". I have not read alot on this, but I do get the idea. You need to think about what you are eating. When snacking, the only thought I have is I want it and I want it now. Stepping on the scale really bugged me though. I am not looking to be size 6. That would require being dead I think. If I can just fit my clothes better and not cringe when I look in the mirror, I will be happy. I need to know when enough is enough. 

My kids say "Mom you look great now!" and I appreciate that. However, I just need to take better care of myself, eating better is a good start. Going to the gym is a good idea. That is another conversation. 

I will let you know next week how I am doing. If you want to join me in this anti-snacking on bad things campaign, please let me know. It is always nice to know I have company on these journies. Thanks for reading.

Here Comes Global Warning!

I remember when it was 1968- I know I am telling my age here...there was a series they began to show. It was called "Here Come the 70"s". I remember watching it and being terrified. We were all going to be living underground and all the air would be polluted and on it went. My sister and I had nightmares!

Now it is all about Global Warming. I am not here to pretend to be a scientest and claim whether or not it is happening. I hear alot about it and I know young people must hear also and be scared about their future. I know I felt the same way when I was a kid and kept thinking about how we would be living underground in the 1970's. I did discover two important truths. The first one is that they were wrong and the second one is that all my worrying changed nothing. It just put my stomach in a knot and gave me nightmares.

It is wise to not be ignorant of what they are saying about Global Warming. I hope and pray that our country and others will be wise in limiting gas house emissions and all that stuff. I want to say to you my reader, ultimately, while we do what we can, the world is not our own. There is One who is much bigger who holds the future. I do not believe this old earth is going any where one day sooner than He allows. 

I am a mom of four. I remember being afraid of the world I was bringing each baby into. I would hold that sweet baby in my arms and wonder "what will your world hold?" What about your future? What about this world?" There is an old hymn we use to sing in church. You do not hear it much anymore, but the truth of it would soothe my fears. The words said "Because He lives I can face tomorrow, because He lives all fear is gone, because I know who holds the future. And life is worth the living because He lives." 

Some see my position as one of weakness- I prefer to think of it as faith that God still cares about you and your future and He cares about this earth. Man will do what man does, but we will not thwart what God has in mind.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is in Isaiah 41:10 " So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

A mother's Love - By Michael Dyck

Every mom could be compared to wonder women. From trying to keep multiple young children entertained, making sure the house is clean (enough), keeping some kind of social life, and sometimes a job as well in mind blowing and sounds nearly impossible. My mom like many used her children to complete the task at hand, just like minions from "despicable me". Whatever the chore was, she made it seem like "only I can do it" so I scrubbed that toilet like no one has ever scrubbed. This may have only lasted a couple years before us children realized we hate chores, but it was a totally genius move.

            Moms always have a solution to every problem. Even if they have never dealt with the problem at hand, they know how to fix it. However, when it came to heart issues, moms always have helpful insight.   

            The love a mother has for her child is deeper then any love another person can give. A mother would lay down her life to save her child without having to think twice. A mom will go the extra mile to help one of her children when they are in need. My mother, Donna Dyck was the best mom any son could ask for. She was such a good mom; I didn't want to share her with my siblings, because she was my mom! But I was willing to share my dad (not because he means less, but I’m a big momma's boy). Against her own desire’s she would take me fishing and to the bass pro shop so I could spend her money so I could catch more fish.

            I thank the Lord for the love my mother has for me. She won’t ever abandon me, or quit on me. She believes in me when I don't believe in myself. Donna is the best cheerleader to have in my corner. When I lose sight of what is important, she points me right back to Jesus.

The love that God gave to moms is a blessing to all children. Kids feel safe in the embrace of their mom. If something is wrong, mom’s has an ear to listen and comfort, and there is no words their child could say to lose that love or care that she has because they love us with that indescribable mothers love. Mother’s have a special place in their children’s heart whether they show it or not.

From a child to all moms, this statement is true, “There is nothing like a mothers love”.

Happy Mothers Day     

When Stubbornness and Independence Meets its Match

There comes a day when all our glorious independence meets it match. If you have ever broken a leg or foot while camping on an Island. Trust me, stubborn independence meets it match. 

It sounds funny, but it was pretty painful. I stepped into a hole while wearing sandles, that is all it took. I went from fiercely indendent to my husband or one of my sons carrying me piggy back or whatever.. wherever I needed to go. I felt bad for making them to this. I found a thick branch to use as a crutch, it did not help. I thought I had just sprained my foot. By morning I knew it was not, it was broken. Cutting our holiday short was not going over well with our kids, but they got over it. 

Life has a way of reminding us all we have our limits even though we may like to believe otherwise. A broken foot is nothing compared to an extended illness or the loss of someone dear to you. The times you think your heart will burst out of your chest for the pain you feel,that is when you are given the opportunity to go it alone or reach out to someone bigger. 

I choose someone bigger. I have climbed many steep mountains in my day, literally and metaphorically. I have chosen to walk with Jesus who is my Good Shepherd. He faithfully brings comfort and peace to my heart. He gives me wisdom to know what to do next. His love surrounds me like the sun on a warm summer day. 

Whatever you are facing today, know that this same Good Shepherd loves you. He longs to give you wisdom and comfort for whatever challenges you face. You can always go it alone. The question I have is why would you want to? Psalm 121 says that God is a very present help in times of trouble.

 I pray that you will ask for help from God today. He loves you.

Why Saying Good Bye - "Well" Matters

There was a young man I knew very well. He was sixteen. He and his dad were best friends. One evening they got into quite an argument. When they parted ways that evening, there was no peace between them. That was the last time he ever saw his father alive again. His father died unexpectantly of a heart attack the next morning. For many years, he regretted that parting. 

No one knows really when our last day is. We casually say good bye, it takes so little effort to just add in " I love you" or "you are a great friend"...whatever suits you. It may sound cheesy to you, but honestly, it matters.

I never said bye to my dad. I had many regrets around his death. I was young. I did write him a letter however, which was in his pocket when they found him. It was open and he had read it. I had told my dad how much I loved him and how much God loved him. 

With my mom, I was there the day she passed away. I had been at her side for weeks. I said everything that mattered. When my brother died, it was different. I had spoken to him the day before and told him I loved him. I learned my lesson when my dad died. I was careful to let those dearest to me know I loved them. I knew it was important.

I know relationships are tricky sometimes, especially in families. Remeber though, life really is short. Even if you are right and they are wrong, it is always good to forgive. The sooner the better. Extending forgiveness does not make them right. It is simply allowing there to be peace, at least on your side. 

Regrets are a heavy wieght that can drain alot of energy. Next time you say good bye , take just a moment to say what matters. You never know how important those words can be.

Resumè and Truth

 Sitting in Starbucks a few days ago, sat two 17 year olds. The conversation was hard to miss. They were confessing to each other how they lied and exagerated on their resumés. Granted, when filling out a resume, you want to make yourself sound like you are very much worth the prospective employers time.  Doesn't telling the truth matter?

Several years ago my husband hired an administrator, not the amazing one we have currently, the one before that. This young womans resumé was impressive indeed. Yet, when it was time to get down to work,she could not spell very well. Another problem was she could not do some of the basic computer programs needed for the job. So, Bill pullled out her resumé and asked her about what was clearly written in black and white. She told him she had to write that or he would never have hired her. 

My husband is very kind indeed. Yet, he really needed someone who could actually do what was needed. Thankfully he did find someone and she is amazing.

This week I had to redo my resume for a job I am interested in. I wanted it to look better then it did. Yet, I wanted it to reflect the truth only. It would not take much beat my resumé. I am much better if I can just get the interview. I am stronger in person then on paper. So, I will see. I just left it as is and submitted it. Hopefully the lady will remember meeting me and give me an interview.

I was thinking about the importance of being honest, even on a resumé. When you do get the job, the real work begins...and you have to live up to your wonderfulness. It is embaressing having to explain you overstated your ability. You need to know what is your potential and what is beyond you. Perhaps one day you will have that skill set, but perhaps it is not today. 

We need to put an honest foot forward. Something employers value is integrity. Working hard, being honest and not speaking badly about the poeple you work with always goes a long way, wherever you work. It makes you a joy to work with. That my friend is what you want people to believe. 

Hands Off!

In the  Globe and  Mail, there was an article about a marriage of many years. In the Q&A it was called"How this couple saved their marriage by embracing non-monogamy had having sex with others". We just celebrated Valentines day last week. I confess, I have no comprehension of how this could work. 

I know that in some religions there is one husband a sometimes several wives. Even in the Old Testament, there are many examples. That is not my experience. I am thankful indeed. I cannot imagine. I still remember the day my neighbour came to my door crying and very angry. Her husband had taken on a new younger wife. It is acceptable in his culture. I am pretty sure, that is not how it goes here in Canada.

In this article however, both parties share different partners. In Toronto there are now Swing clubs. Apparently very popular. No thank you... I will stick to square dancing. Call me old fashioned if you like. I will happily share a plate of cookies or a good home cooked meal, but my husband is off limits.

Even as I write this, I shake my head. It is incompressible to me. Imagine the conversations at the dinner table..ok, let's not. 

To be loved and loved well is a gift and one I am eternally thankful for. To know that my husband loves me no matter what my dress size. In fact, he is sick of the conversation. He is there for me , believing in me and cheering for me daily. When I think back to 30 years of marriage, I know that it has been a gift from God. Not all seasons of marriage are easy,that is true. When the waters got rough, bringing some new man on the scene would not have brought the sizzle..that I can tell you.

Love is patient and kind. It is not self seeking. Love waits while the other is struggling and does not give up. It honours it's promises. Love never fails. People do, but then, love also forgives. 

We don't live in a perfect world for sure. Every story is different. I will stick to just one husband thank you. God is the centre in our marriage. Where He is centre ,confusion dissipates. 

Wisdom from God is first of all pure. What I read in this article and their solution does not reflect the wisdom of God. Of this... I am pretty sure.

Love Yourself Enough

 Everyone could hear the shouting that day. The far corner, right side of the cafeteria. Being a cheer leader helps with volume, that much was clear. The young brunette yelled for everyone to hear " I don't care what any of you think!" then left quickly.

If you followed her, you would have found her in a classroom crying. 

Earlier that same day this same crying young woman could have been heard carelessly talking about someone else. She knew even as she was speaking, she was stretching things a little and just maybe saying more then she should. It felt good though, so she kept going. Her words caught up to her later in the cafe. That is what the drama at the beginning was all about.

The instruction Christ give in Matthew 29:39 "Love your neighbor as yourself", comes into play here. 

 Loving yourself, it is not all about getting your hair done or having a manicure. It is also about loving yourself enough to care about the state of your own heart.

When we allow pride to live in our hearts and take up residence there, trouble will soon follow. The same is true of bitterness - which is simply unforgiveness which is left to brew.

Love yourself enough to take a personal inventory. Ask yourself the really hard questions- ask God to help you. He knows you even better then you know yourself.

1. Am I mad at anyone right now?

2. Do I need to forgive anyone? ( forgiveness is not just to the benefit of the one who wronged you, but it is for you as well. By not forgiving, it is like dragging that person around on your back. That gets heavy)

3. Am I disappointed with someone or something? Is it weighing me down? Can I let go and let God take it?

4.Am I feeling boastful in my heart at all? Do I think I am better then other people?

5. Am I looking out for me more than anyone else? Are my conversations all about my favorite topic- "Me"?

It is pretty popular to do all these Liver Cleanse and you name it "Cleanse". What about a heart and mind cleanse? 

Love yourself enough to take stock of your own heart.

Love yourself enough to care what other people think.

Love yourself enough to know when you are crossing a line and you will live with the consequences of those actions or words. 

You may be reading this and think, no its too late for me. I have blown it too badly. Every day is a new day. New people to meet and new opportunities to make things right. It starts though with being honest with yourself.

Loving other people well is born out of person who loves themselves well. 

"Don't take this personally but..."

 You know when you hear those words you are in trouble. You brace your stomach as if  punch is coming. Words are powerful things. Sometimes people don't realize it. Maybe they thinking for a long time about what they thought would be very helpful for you, or they are speaking out of the emotion of the moment. The challenge facing each one is simply- what are you going to do now?

Words that are hard to "stomach" come to everyone. It is hard to not take it personally. If you are one who is really good at that, well.... hats off to you. I find it hard. I think many people do.

There are some hard truths that need to be spoken. If we are doing or have done something wrong and are unaware of it, we need to hear it. Perhaps something that was said was not received well. Now you bear the fruit of those words. It is good to know the truth and deal with it. Face it, feel it and deal with it. Still not easy, but easier to deal in truth when you can see their point then when you cannot.

It is in the times when you fail to see their point , when they have their facts wrong or it seemed to come out of nowhere. This is when it is particularly tough. 

Regardless of the situation, some kind of a response is needed. It is natural to want to speak back. Sometimes that is what needs to happen. Especially if they have been misinformed. If you can do it calmly then it is a good idea. If you are boiling, you may want to wait a bit. Words spoken when the blood in our viens is "boiling" does not always guarantee the best response. 

When the person says those famos " Don't take this personally" you need to consider that also. Why are they saying at all? Is there anything I need to learn here? 

At times like this, I am better off going home and thinking for awhile. Psalm 37:3-8 is my go-to Psalm at times like these. I think the advice of the Psalmist is good and worthy of consideration. 

Many times, it is God who will ultimately be my defender. Sometimes you just have to take those hard words and leave them with God. Defending yourself just doesn't always work. Hearing the person out(hopefully they don't go on and on), is good. If you listen well, it should mean they will give to you the same courtesy if you do say something. Remember though, saying " thank you I will take your words into consideration" and ending it there is not a bad idea. 

Go, think and pray. God will give you wisdom and still your trembling heart. Read Psalm 37. It really is a great Psalm with some solid advice that has proven true many time in my life and the lives of many others.

Parking Lot Drama

When I was on my way to a gym today, I heard yelling in the parking lot. A young woman and guy were having a loud argument. The guy yelled " what its all my fault?!" That in itself is not big deal. Then guy jumped into his car and began driving away. The 24 or so year old young woman was holding onto the car door pleading with the guy to please let her in the car as he was driving away. She ran along side the car, but could not keep up.

The guy stopped at the exit of the parking lot long enough for the girl to catch up. I thought the guy was cooling down and realized he was being a bit dramatic. No... not so. As soon as the girl caught up to him, he took off again. This poor girl pleading with him as she now ran across the street and followed him. She never did catch up to him. For her sake, I hope she never sees him again. 

I so wanted to chase down the street after the girl and tell her she deserved better. The loss was his, not hers. I don't know what the argument was over, nor who he was. Regardless, that is no way to be respectful to another person regardless of the story. 

I stood and debated what I should do watching this girl disappear down the street. Sadly, I went to the gym and worked out, thinking of the girl. Why do girls allow themselves to be treated like that? Maybe they feel they are not worth better. When I was at the gym yesterday, many of the young women in my Pilates class were singing along to a song called "Won't you stay the night"... I have no idea who sings it. The song says no problem if you just stay the night, no commitment, no ties.... honestly I wanted to be sick right there in class. 

If you are in a dating relationship and being treated poorly, quit while you are ahead. You are worth more. You should not have to chase cars while a guy has a temper tantrum. A guy who cares for you listens and considers what you are saying. You talk. They don't storm away like that. No storming allowed! 

Clearly, this is not permission for high drama for you or I. We need to be respectful. If the respect you show is not being returned to you, it is time to say "see you later". 

God loves you and knows what you need. Look to Him for wisdom- that comes not from magazines or songs on the radio, but from God. James 1:5 says that if we are lacking wisdom, we can ask God who will give it to us. He may not be super quick about it, but wait. He will give it to you.