Martha! Martha! Give Your Head a Shake!

  I am very much like Martha. I like action. I am not a good sitter- unless I am watching Netfilx!

I was reading the story of Mary and Martha the other day. I have spent a good part of my life defending Martha as I identify very well with her. I always think-" where would potlucks and parties be without Martha!?".  

When we think about the season ahead and the entertaining. f you are like me, I am planning menu's and scouring Pinterest for ideas. Like many- we love people through food. BUT, if it causes us to become so focused on the task- which is easier if we Martha's are to be honest, we miss the quiet voice of what our Heavenly Father may want to say to us. 

Every day, He has a word of encouragement for us from His Word or through a song we listen to. He is pretty creative, but we need to be listening. Hospitality is wonderful, but it is also very distracting. 

I have been and still am walking a very challenging path these days. Hospitality, really is far from my mind. Today- I need to get my footing for the journey I am on. I gain that through quiet moments with God and His Word. He steadies my foot each step. 

At this time, my dear Martha sister who thinks like me- when we take the time with our Heavenly Father this season- whatever that is to you. Know that God brings perspective and insight as we love and care for people along the way. 

Looking Beyond

Sitting in the Dr's office waiting for one very dear to us to be finished. I feel weary to my core. Yet, it was in this moment the God spoke to me.

He told me to look past this moment and that this is not forever. He reminded me that while the temptation is to put my trust in people or Dr's is great and may be easier, really my trust needed to be in Him.

Then as I sat there praying, in my minds eye I could see what looked like a massive pair of scissors, reaching down through the heavens, cutting off what from my point of view are massive chains. From God's point of view, they look like threads. It may sound weird but God often speaks to me in pictures. This one brought me comfort and proper perspective.

Since this day( which was only two days ago), I have had remarkable peace. There is comfort- great comfort and peace to know that the One who holds the universe in His hand, who is perfect and all wise, abounding in love- sees me and the one so very dear to us. In the middle of our struggles and heartbreak- there is light and peace and the presences of God Almighty.

Loving People Struggling with Depression

There was a season in my life where I had only one or two friends who were not struggling with depression or anxiety and were not on medication. I was surprised to discover how very common it is. Loving and caring for them in a healthy way was an important discovery for me. 

I do not claim to have mastered it- but I am better today then I was. I didn't realize what depression really was lived out in front of my eyes. You would think I would considering my own brother struggled with it intensely. He mixed it with a lot of alcohol and later drugs. To be honest, that is what took centre stage. I was younger and I did not understand really the challenges he faced every day. 

It is hard to imagine depression if you have not lived it or have not lived very closely with someone who has to struggle under its burden. I do not know what it is to have to psyche myself to get out of bed and live another day, yet millions of people do this every single day. 

I do know what it is to love someone who struggles under this burden and likely many reading this know someone as well. 

I learned the hard way that I cannot talk them out of their depression, I was naive enough one time to think I could. I learned to listen and to pray for them and leave them to God. It is utterly exhausting otherwise. Clearly, if they are not on medication and need to be, I have encouraged them to do that. It is not a sin. If they were not on the right meds, I encouraged them to go see the Dr. and get the right medication. 

1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that "love is patient and love" is kind and it goes on in a few verses later that "love never gives up, never loses faith, it is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance" (verse 7).

To love people truly, it requires God's love to be streaming through us. It is very challenging to love people with this struggle of depression- but love we do.  We love without becoming angry or impatient. That is not helpful. We pray for them and ask God for wisdom in what to even say or do next. He does lead us. He knows this person better then we do. We will never talk these dear people out of depression, but we may pray them out! 

This is what I do know. God does not give up on me. May He give strength and love to never give up on others.  Wise boundaries, certainly, but not to the point we become useless. When the person struggling with depression and see only clouds on a sunny day, we gently remind them of just where the sun is shining, if only a little bit. 

May God give to each of us wisdom and the love we need to love those who must live with this very difficult burden. No one hopes they get to grow up and get to deal with depression. Be patient, wise and loving. If you are short on any of these - Go to the one who has a boundless supply. 

Feeling Like a Bother

With my phone in hand, I want to text or call one of my kids( they are all grown up by the way) or a friend. Surely they won't mind if I just text or even phone them and ask how their day is going? Then I wonder to myself- " Why are you hesitating? "I stop and come to the realization that their are days I feel like a bother to people; even people who I know love me. 

I trace the thoughts in my head and I hear things like " they are very busy Donna, don't bother them. They will think you are needy or something. Or maybe they will think " this woman needs more to do in her life." 

You may think " this is crazy; why would anyone think like this. I am pretty sure I am not alone. Many who are parents of adult children with busy lives will tell you something similar. Sometimes it is the belief that you really are not all that important- self esteem is at the low end of the spectrum.

On the good new front,  I don't think like this every day- but I do some days.

I was praying about my " I feel like a bother" thinking. I was reading in Matthew Chapter 7:1 it tells us " Do not judge". I always think about that in quite a different context. This time I could hear the Lord gently saying "you should not judge others on how they think when you contact them. It is wrong of you to come to such a conclusion. " It changed the way I was thinking. I asked the Lord to forgive me for my judgments and He gave me peace. 

Maybe I am being ridiculous, maybe I am not. I thought " well if I feel like this, I am sure there are others that do as well." 

What to take away from this simple blog today? If you struggle as I do; don't assume. If this is never your struggle, it may be someone you know. Maybe the next call or text you receive say something like- "it is so good to hear from you!" If nothing else, you will warm someone's heart today. 

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God- The One who Never walks away

God is different. He never walks away.

They say that how your earthly Father behaves will be reflected in your perception of God. I have spent a good part of my life with the fear that Jesus would walk away in times of trouble. 

My dad walked out on us when I was 10 years old. His choice was to give up drinking or leave and he left. That is often a common story of the addict- whether is is drugs or alcohol. They leave behind them a wake of broken hearted people who love them desperately. 

God is not an addict. He is not one to walk away. He does not carry a cell phone which He checks constantly while you are pouring your heart out to Him. Psalm 46 reminds me that He is  our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Matthew 28:20 reminds me that Jesus is indeed with me " always to the end of the age". Psalm 119:89-90 "Your word, Lord is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues though all generations; you establish the earth and it endures." 

God never walks out the door in good times or bad. He is faithful and fully trustworthy. He is attentive to our cry for help. He sees our fears and is familiar with all our ways. Be encouraged, God is very different and in all good ways!

God knows I jump to old ways of thinking quite quickly. It is  at times and His Spirit reminds me that He is very present. I see Him intervene in remarkable ways. He knows how much I can take in a day. Sometimes I think it should be a little less- yet He gives me strength and wisdom. 

If you had a great dad, then I am happy for you. This struggle perhaps is not yours, but it is many other peoples. If you had a dad who was a disappointment in whatever way- please know the your Heavenly Father is different. He is not displeased with you. You can win with Him. He does not walk away and He will never never give up on you. His love for you is as sure as the sun rising and setting each day. Even behind the clouds that fill the sky today- the sun shines just as brightly behind the clouds, just like God's faithful abiding presence in your time of trouble. 

Calming The Storm

I have read the story of Jesus calming the storm hundreds of times. Yesterday He pointed something out to me that really encouraged me. 

When the storms of life come, it is not uncommon to have that "Jesus is asleep in the back of the boat feeling". It has certainly been my truth several times this past year. 

When I was reading Luke 8:22-25; we read that the disciples who were experienced with boating and rough seas. They knew that they were in great danger. I have always read the passage and only really noticed that Jesus was disappointed in their fear and lack of faith in the midst of the storm. While this truth is indeed a big deal, there is another truth His Spirit pointed out to me yesterday which deeply encouraged me. 

It took only a few words spoken by Jesus to bring the blustery winds and crazy waves to become calm. The point is this: God's word is powerful- His whole word. While nothing in our messy life changes, His Word has the power to calm our stormy emotions and clear our minds so we can see more clearly. His Word speaks peace to our circumstance. He reminds us over and over that He is bigger and more powerful then the storm you find yourself in today. It is not even so much the exact passage you read that accomplishes this but rather the mystery of the power of God's word- The Bible. His Word is alive and as we read it and obey it, light seeps into the dark places-the despairing places of our soul. 

This has and is my story. As I read His word and write out passages, He comforts me and brings me hope- regardless of the size of the waves that are sometimes frightening. I have never had panic attacks until this year. I thought I was having a heart attack. Watching our son was too much- week after terrible week- but God's word gives me hope and He speaks peace. 

May He do that for you as well. 

A Parent's Sleepless Night

 I lay in my bed most of the night praying- waiting for the sound of our son coming home and stumbling once again up the stairs. What mattered was not the stumbling, it was that he was home. 

The next day, I get up heavy hearted but relieved wondering when will this nightmare be finished. I had no energy to do anything. That afternoon I was to go to an outreach into our neighbourhood where we share the love and hope that only Jesus can bring. I felt nothing. 

I phoned my husband Bill from the gym where we do our outreach in tears. I did not know how I was suppose to love all these  beautiful kids feeling like I was. Yet I knew that was what I was called to do. Bill said to me something I will never forget. " Our son is not the centre of our lives, Jesus is". Then he prayed with me. Honestly, the heaviness and despair slipped away. I felt peace fill my heart. 

Regardless of the challenges facing a family, whatever the sickness, it is very easy to make that loved one the centre. Jesus is always the centre. He is the Rock upon which we stand and gain wisdom, strength and the hope to press on. It is easy to let other things or people to take centre stage in our life, but Jesus really needs to be the centre if we are going to navigate this path we find ourselves on. 

Keep Him centre. 

Tip for the Broken Hearted Parent

When the text came in asking me what hospital my son was in, I was panicked. I did not know he was in hospital! My heart almost jumped out of my chest.

He had been drinking that day and was despairing over his life. Someone found him curled up in a back lane and wanting to die. They called an ambulance who then took him to the local hospital. He received good care there and we were grateful but shaken. How can we be living through this storm? We reach out every day to people whose lives are in similar turmoil; we never imagined we would experience this in one of our own, but we did.

The most important truth I would want to tell a parent who feels like their heart has been broken in half is this: your child, regardless of age, is not a hopeless case. 

God sees your heart and has seen every tear and heard every sigh. Your prayers are not weak and pathetic. The Name of Jesus is Higher then whatever is afflicting the one you love so dearly.

On the day Jesus walked on water, Peter called to Christ and asked if he could also walk on water. Jesus quickly agrees and Peter steps out of the boat, all is well for a few steps. Then the wind and the waves grab his attention and now he is afraid and quickly he begins to sink. ( Matt. 14:22-33)

Fear rises quickly in our hearts especially when the wind and the waves are bigger then we are. They are out of our control. 

When I think about addiction being one of the things my loved one struggles with, it is not like there is a pill I can give him that will cure it. To stand and watch one you love so dearly slowly destroy their lives, that is unbelievably heartbreaking. 

Yet, I am reminded daily- Jesus is greater and more then able. I entrust this one I love so dearly to the heart of God. 

One day when I was driving and consumed with fear over my sons' life- I was praying and praying for him and the Lord spoke to me and asked me gently- " Donna you are racked by fear even as you pray. You need to entrust this son of yours into my hands and trust Me". 

I realized that panic filled prayers need to at least at some point turn into truly giving this loved one over to the care of God. I have learned this the hard way. 

May God soothe your soul today and whatever is so heavy on your heart, Jesus really is bigger. He doesn't always deliver in a day, at least not in my experience. He is faithful though and fully trustworthy. May His peace be yours today. 

The day 

Breathing Life Back into a Weary Soul

I have to be honest with you... it has been a very rough year in our house. It left me drained in every way. As a kid growing up I watched my father destroy his life and our family with his addiction to alcohol. Then I watched my brother go down the same path but then added drugs to the mix. In the last few years I have watched my son battle depression and addiction to alcohol. I am familiar with suffering but the pain of watching these past several years has torn my heart out. 

I would like to take this next season of posts and write about how God breathed life back into my weary soul. 

We dropped our son off at a Christian Rehab- Teen Challenge, five weeks ago. I thank God for that place and that he is still there.  Even as his dad and he sat in the office five weeks ago signing a pile of papers, I sat at that beautiful campus thanking God that my son was there, alive and safe. For the first time in a long time, I could breathe again. I feel like I have not breathed for five years. 

When we got home from dropping him off, I knew my heart was numb. I found a list of Bible verses on Pinterest of all places. It was called "Thirty Days of Reading Bible Verses about Prayer". I decided not to just read it but write down every verse- many a day. As I did this, prayers flowed out of me. Day after day, I just wrote more and more Bible verses down. When I finished this pile, I found another on the topic of " Worry and Anxiety". I am very good at both of these so I thought I would write these out as well. Honestly, I did nothing but write and agree with what I wrote, I prayed and I breathed. 

I am continuing to write every day- verses, passages that encourage me or direct me and through this simple practice God's Spirit has breathed His life into my heart. I feel hopeful and I have peace and I even sleep most nights. I have had many sleepless nights over these years. 

Our son is not out of the woods yet, but we pray that he will find healing and freedom in these days and months. In the mean time, I will read .write , pray and trust God for whatever lay ahead. My eyes are fixed on the One with whom nothing is impossible. He is bigger then depression and He is bigger then addiction. 

Feeling Forgotten by God?

Face it , we all feel like maybe God was a too little busy to notice the smaller details or our struggles at one time or another. I have certainly felt that Especially when the climb I find myself on is already steep and all of a sudden-it just got steeper.

I think I assume God is missing the details or my struggles  a bit too quickly. Maybe it was because of the home I grew up in and my dad forgot us kids more then once.Truthfully, it is a button in my heart that has been pressed too many times. 

Yet, I know that  just because I feel like that, it does not make it true. I look in the Bible where I find my footing to get truth in the centre and my default moving over.

Psalm 37:23-24 NLT says this" The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand'. 

I need a Father like this. I need Him to  direct me (especially being the dyslexic girl I am) and to notice the details of my life, because they are not always enjoyable I need him to  never cease to see what is tugging so hard on my mind and my heart. I need Him paying attention and caring about the path I find myself on. I need to know He is so near by that He is holding my hand. 

I am thankful that this verse talks about stumbling- my stumbling does not take Him by surprise. In fact I have the impression that He tightens His grip on my hand. Just like when you are walking with a toddler, and the path is clearly tricky and you can clearly see, if you don't take their hand, they will fall for sure. So, you take a good firm grip on their hand so they don't fall. And why don't we want them to fall? Because we love them. We care about them navigating this difficult path successfully.

I also love how Jesus so often is heard saying to His disciples " You of little faith,why are you so afraid?" He knows we are people who often jump to the wrong conclusion. Like when Jesus was asleep in the back of the boat and a big storm came up(Matthew 8: 23-27). The disciples feared for their lives. In their panic they wake Jesus because by now the water was coming over the edge of the boat! I am pretty sure if I had been on that boat I would not have waited as long as the disciples did.  

The wind and the waves of our lives can blow pretty furiously. Just like when you are out on a boat as the disciples, who knows? Maybe it was two storms crashing into each other? In life, things like that happens, one storm is brewing and another one kicks up to join it. Becoming fearful or jumping to the conclusion that God must have not noticed me- here in this storm !

This passage from Psalm 37:23-24 is a beautiful reminder to us. It is impossible to forget someone whose hand you are holding as you are delighted by each step they take. God is just like that. 

All these truths soothed my troubled heart today and maybe wherever you find yourself , you will also be encouraged. God does see you in whatever place you find yourself. He is so nearby, He holds your hand. 

Ray of Sunshine on a Rainy Day

Toronto has had some pretty miserable days of rain and ice lately. To say it has been dreary would describe it accurately. I was feeling very much in my heart the same as it looked outside my window. 

I had to go to an appointment so, out into the wind and ice rain I went. When I got to the end of my street, there was our happy crossing guard. With his stop sign raised high and booming cheery voice he said " Good Morning!" and then a guy racing by on his bike wished him a good morning and of course the happy crossing guard hollered back the same. If you were to stand at the end of my street, you would meet this crossing guard who does this daily, whether it is raining or not. 

I don't know his secret but I do know the effect he has on anyone crossing at his cross walk. You leave feeling a bit happier. I am challenged to try to be friendlier in a city where people stare at their phones or have ear phones in their ears. People still need to be greeted, especially on rainy yucky days! 

I know this simple greeting with such enthusiasm honestly made a difference to me for a good part of my day. I feel challenged to greet people- maybe with a little less enthusiasm , but greet them whether I know them or not. Maybe someone would be encouraged by such a small effort. 

Seeing Life Through 3 Year Old Eyes

Watching a little girl walk onto a psychiatric ward is a lesson I will never forget. I am immediately struck by the suffering I see, the brokenness, the little girl just sees people. 

A woman rolls by, she is quite overwieight and not really engaged with reality as far as I can see. The little girl stops, as the woman rolls herself by, she says "hello" but there is no response and the woman stares at her. The little girl only has a smile and waves good bye. 

She is off to her next adventure. She hears a man groaning in the room a few doors down from the barn and three sheep picture. She puts her little finger in front of her mouth and whispers " be very quiet, the man is sleeping". Concern for him has filled her heart.

A man begins playing the piano in the T.V. room and he is singing a song that is from around 1940. Clearly he did not make his living as a musician. The little girl goes and stands at the door. She thinks he is amazing. She comes and tells us that the man is making music. Later this same man comes and talks to the three year old- he has two eyes that look in two very different directions. She does not notice. When he asks " Did you like the music?" She said a definitive "Yes". 

I am deeply struck by her view of the people that surrond her. She sees that they are peeple, their struggles do not change her view of them though some of the behavior is odd at times. I have learned with effort to do similarly. It helps that my mother was a psychatirc nurse and a very good one. She taught me that they are people and their challenges do not define who they are. 

Jesus says in Luke 18:16-17 “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

It is a great challenge we all face daily- to love through three year old eyes. May the love of God fill our hearts and enable us to love as He does. 

"Comfort My People"

Really, God? That is what is on Your mind? That is how you want to encourage us this week? Speak tenderly to them. But, tell them what?

Isaiah 40:2 says this: "Tell her that her sad days are gone - and sins are pardoned." The passage goes on to say that the people of Jerusalem have been punished twice over for their sins."

You and I are not the people of Jerusalem. We have Christ - He paid the price for our sins once when He died on the cross. A full pardon has been given to us.

As I reflect on the passage - why are you trying so hard to get what you already have, namely forgiveness, His presence, His pleasure, etc.  It’s all paid for and done.  You have Him.

 Secondly, God is working in your life (mountains levelled, valleys raised up) to prepare the way for greater things he wants to bring you, but that doesn’t mean He has withdrawn Himself from you.  Quite the opposite, it’s a sign of His pleasure and delight in you.  You will see the glory of God in greater measure than you ever have, it will come to you.  Don’t fight His discipline in your life.

We are indeed works in progress with a Master Potter who is hard at work on each of us. He is carving and shaping us into something even more beautiful. He loves the work of His hands,though some of the work is painful, yet through it, His signiture becomes evident and that is His glory.

It is in the living with Jesus at our side "His glory is revealed and all people will see it together. The Lord has spoken" Isaiah 40:5. 

It is on the stormy waters of this life we learn what His abiding presence is all about. You would think God was most present on the calm sunny days. However, He is even more so present on the stormy days we find ourselves so often. 

The One who loves us and knows how much we can take, never leaves us. He speaks tenderly to us, because He knows we are so easily frightened. He soothes us with words of deliverence, His forgiveness, and constant love. He brings His comofrt to you and to me today and every day.

My Burden Bearer

God often speaks to me at wierd times. This time it was while driving. I was thinking about some issues in my life that were heavy on my heart. They created both sadness and anxiety within me. 

The verse from Phillipians 4:6 came to my mind, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God" (NIV).

Last week He reminded me about this aspect of giving over my burdens to Him. That, as I gave my requests over to Him, He pointed out the importance of being thankful while making my requests. So, I have conciously been practising this.  

This week it was something else. He reminded me of the difference it makes when the One whom I give my burdens over to loves me without measure. He asks for all my burdens, every last one of them. There is no limit on what He is willing to carry for me. He does not give me a time limit either on how long He is willing to carry the burdens. He in fact, seems to prefer that as long as it is a burden, it is mine to give and His to carry.

How different it is to have a burden bearer who is not paid by the hour; someone who just likes me. Rather He offers out of a heart of unlimited love and compassion to carry that which is too much for me to bear on my own. 

When I started to think about this, peace flooded my heart. The burden slipped quickly from my shoulders to the One with who is all powerful and able to do more than I can ask or imagine. 

God's love when understood and received changes everything in prayer and in the practice of giving over to Him.

He sees what we cannot and is all-wise. He asks that we trust Him. He won't  always answer just the way we were hoping, but He does promise to answer and He is not slow in keeping His promises. He is faithful. He asks that we trust and not doubt. 

"Lose Lips Sink Ships"

I don't think anyone can read too many posts, blogs, or books that remind us to watch what we say. Words are powerful - much more powerful than we realize. By our words we can quickly gain respect; or lose it just as fast. 

Most likely, we don't have to think long and hard to remember a conversation we wish we could take back. Maybe we were in a bad mood, tired, or upset by something else entirely. As a result, that frustration was taken out in that conversation on the other person. Sadly, it reflected painfully on how we are really doing.

So, what are we supose to do? I have two conversations on my mind I wish I could redo or take back. Each of them are nipping at the corners of my mind. 

First, I go to God and ask forgiveness. That is always my first move. Second, I go to the individuals and own my failure to practice wisdom. Then, hopefully, I have learned my lesson. I don't say much when I am upset about a parking ticket or something else that will lead me to say more then I ought.

There is something else that has been bugging me. I have been very tempted to talk about it with people. Yet, I know there is nothing they can do to bring about a solution. I choose daily to continually take my complaints to God. It is a much safer place to go. Unless He tells me otherwise, I will stick with this plan.

James 1:19 reminds us "My dear brothers/sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (NIV). No where in this verse does it say except if you are not feeling well or the people around you are driving their cars like crazy people.

Be patient to today with yourself and with other people. May every word we speak reflect the wisdom of James 1:19. We will sleep better if we do.

Blessings on you.

God on a Timer

I have always done better work when I set the timer. I am not sure everyone is like that, but I sure am. I work better under pressure. In many areas of life, this works very well, but not always.

I was at a conference this passed weekend. It was great, but the sessions, while very helpful and informative, were really long. I don't do well sitting for that length of time. My brain seems to slow down a lot. 

I discovered this massive church has an amazing prayer room. The topic that we were learning about was Listening to God. That is an important topic no doubt. There is always more to learn. My brain was done with the learning thing for awhile. So, I thought I would go to the prayer room and do some of this listening prayer stuff.

I read the Bible for a little while and then started to listen. I asked God how He thought I was doing in the listening department of my walk with Him. Do you know what I felt He said to me?

"Donna, you have Me on a timer and that timer does not even have 60 seconds on it. I have to make sure I say something to you in the first few seconds or you are gone. Please increase your timer". 

Wow! I could not even argue.  There are many scriptures that read, "I waited patiently for the Lord and He..." God calls all of us to wait patiently for Him. That is not easily done in a day when we have faster internet, phones, cars, and many other things. Yet, the value of waiting patiently for God has not changed. It isn't the patient waiting He restores us, speaks to us, and soothes our soul. 

It is a concious decision to be more patient in my waiting on God. That likely does not sound very spirtual, but that is what I have decided. So, that has been my practise this week. I cannot say He has spoken clearly each time, but my soul does seem to have greater rest. He is giving me wisdom to navigate some difficult paths ahead of me. 

There is alot of valuable fruit that is brought forward in the simplicity of patiently waiting. So, do you have God on a timer? He loves you and wants to meet you and I, but He does ask us to wait patiently. May He help us be better waiters!

The Struggle to Truly Receive

Have you ever been given a gift? Say a sweater. You liked it, said thank you, and then put it away? Months later you find it again and then think -oh, I forgot about that?' Why have I been wearing my old ratty sweater all this time? 

I wonder if God sees us and wonders the same thing? We have asked Him to forgive us for something, but guilt nibbles at our heart while we try to sleep at night.

There are times I have prayed fervently for someone I love deeply and entrusted him or her into the hands of Jesus only to find, I am worrying about him or her again within the hour. So, I pray again and leave that burden once more with Jesus who is more than able to care for the situation far better then I am. I find passages of scripture that build my faith and enable to me to trust Him more thourougly. 

When a person puts their trust in Jesus the Bible tells us we become "new" and the old has passed. Yet, I don't remember feeling particularly new. I did feel peace, however. To be honest, when I first met Jesus I had no idea I was a new creation in Him and the old had passed away. I had not read the Bible. All I knew at that time was peace whose source was not the sun shining outside my window.

I know there are huge books written on this topic and it could be said easily that I have made it too simple. That is how I operate though.

When Jesus says to us, I forgive you. Tell Him thank you and I receive that in Jesus Name. Then when you start feeling guilty again, just thank Him once more for that wonderful forgiveness. Do this as many times as it takes to really melt into your heart.

As for burdens that hang on your heart like a set of weights, I do the same thing. I give them over to God again and again. I also read passages of scripture that remind me that He is big enough for this problem. He is wise and faithful. I remember the countless times I have trusted Him and have found Him faithful.

When I think about the promise that He made of being a new creation, that is something I work on every day. I have to remember that I am God's child and He loves me. He is the Master Potter and He does not make junk. I know that He is not finished yet.  That is always a good place to begin. Reading His Word is always helpful in these things.

God loves us and is for us. Receive by faith what He offers to you today.

Being thankful even on grey days

I have noticed birds sing louder and more frequently on sunny days. There is something about sunshine that seems to make everything seem better, even when it isn't and likely will not be for a long time. 

Today is a typical Toronto day - its grey. But, it also means it is not cold. When the tempterue hovers around zero, it is often a cloudy grey day. It is on the cold crisp days the sun often shines here. 

I have been challenged today to practice an attitude of gratitude. That always sounds like such a nice idea, but frankly, it would easier to do if the sun was shining. Yet, we are asked in Psalm 100 to enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. No where does it say only if you are having a good day. 

God and Scrabble

It was a quiet evening at my house last night, although my heart was not. I was deeply troubled by something that had happened a few nights earlier. I like when I can fix things. This was unfixable. I was tempted to send an email or talk with the people who had hurt me. But, I knew it would accomplish nothing. It would only make them feel bad and guilty. A conversation wouldn't fix the hurt that was stinging my heart.

I took some time in the quiet to ask God what He had to say about this situation. I needed to hear from the One I know is all wise. I asked Him to speak to me, but I was met by sheer silence. I knew that God was very interested in talking to me, so I decided I would play a game of scrabble on my iPad. Scrabble is what I do to keep my brain from going to mush as I get a tiny bit older.

So, I was playing and happily beating the computer. Then, it was my turn again - the last turn. I had five tiles on my rack. Together, they were the letters "g-r-a-c-e."

I heard the Lord's quite voice, full or mercy and grace, speak to me in that moment. He said, "Grace, extend grace Donna. So much of it has been exteneded to you."

Peace filled my heart in that moment and all the troubled thoughts disapated. My Heavenly Father quieted my fears and gently touched my aching heart. 

"Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)