The Hard Stuff

Today I was thinking about the hard stuff of life. Those things we should do, but frankly they are too difficult. It is easier to talk about running than to actually go running. It is simpler to speak about forgiveness than to truly forgive someone.

There are many things in life that are hard to do and so we dismiss them. I have made promises I need to follow through on and have not as of yet. There are books I should read that remain unopened. I also have projects I would like to begin but have not found the time to do so. Our getting around to these difficult things can be a real challenge.

What is it that stands in our way? Today I was reading Romans 8:37-39. These verses remind us that “we are more than conquerors through Him (Jesus) who loved us.” There is nothing that is too hard on my to-do list that through Jesus I cannot complete. He is with me and nothing can ever separate me from His love, His promises, His strength, His wisdom, His peace, and His presence. He is always with me. On this truth I stand and from this perspective I face each challenge as it arises.

Yesterday was the 14th anniversary of my mother’s passing. The anniversary of her death is a very difficult time for me, a valley. Yet, as December 6th comes and goes, I am reminded that the Good Shepherd never leaves me. His peace that surpasses all understanding is right here with me amidst the sorrow and the crushing loss I feel because of the loss of my late mother.

Life Lessons and Baking

I have been asking God to speak to me. Last week, I was baking again, (one of my favourite things). My son and his lovely wife had gone on a trip to Mexico last year and brought me some real Vanilla as a gift. What I have discovered about it, is this. I have to be really careful how much I use. If I use what the recipe asks for, all you taste is vanilla. All the other flavours are completely overwhelmed by the vanilla. I like vanilla, but not like that.

When I was baking I was carefully putting in my small splash of vanilla, I knew that God was telling me something, I was just not sure what it was until a few days later. 

I was sitting with a group of women, all wonderful but I know that for the most part, we interpret things of faith and life, quite differently. One person had spoken up and was sharing her heart felt wish on how she wished her relationship with her husband would look like. I was stunned to hear what she was desiring. I knew people like the open marriage idea- at least some, but I do not personally know anyone who would hold to that idea. I had many thoughts and things I wanted to jump in and say, immediately, I thought about my Mexican vanilla. If I said what I was thinking, my comments would have ruined everything. I remained silent. I am sure, at a better time, I can share what I believe to be a healthy marriage, rich, full of love and trust. She thought her idea was forward thinking. My idea would be the opposite of that in her mind. 

There will be another time, when I can share a little bit of what I believe to be true. How much and when, we will see. 

Remember- too much vanilla, or words ill placed or spoken harshly have the same effect.

A Little Hard of Hearing Maybe?

As I sat working today, I could not help but overhear someone speaking to an individual on the phone who was clearly, hard of hearing. 

The one woman was pretty much yelling to be heard. She was trying to tell the person on the other end of the line, they are picking them up at 3:00 for a hearing appointment. I know this, as I heard it - 3 times!

I wonder how often, God has not been trying to speak to me and I am the one who needs the appointment to hear God more clearly. In the middle of the many things which are easier to do, scrabble, baking, Netflix, Pinterest ( you will sadly note that the gym is not on the list) Stopping, and really listening to what the Good Shepherd who does speak to His sheep, is saying to me. 

For today, I think I get it. "Donna, I am talking to you! Will you listen! I have much I want to tell you if you would just slow down and listen to Me!"

When you slow down, get quiet, what is God saying to you? He is always speaking to us, because He loves us and longs for us to know Him better. Psalm 95: 7-8" Today, if only you would hear His voice and not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah, as you did in Massah, in the wilderness" 

God's people were not far diffrenent. They failed to hear God's voice, yet His call to them, is the same as the call to us " When you hear My voice, do not harden your hearts" 

" Suddenly"

I remember day after day, rushing home after school in Grade 5, to see if my cat finally had her kittens. Suddenly, one day when I walked through the door my cat Suzy was waiting for me. I knew something was up because she was quite a bit skinnier then when I left for school that morning. I followed her up the stairs and there in my brother's bottom drawer, were four kittens, each one different from the other. What a day that was! 

There are many times that we find ourselves waiting and waiting then suddenly, the waiting is over. If you are anything like me, and waiting is not your strong suit, then, this frequent occurrence in life, is pretty challenging. I don't think I know many people who are good at waiting. 

In the Bible, the word"suddenly" shows up many time indicating both good and bad situations. "Suddenly" a fierce storm rose up and the disciples were terrified while Jesus was snoozing in the back of the boat. (Luke 8:24). Jesus gets up and calls to the wind to be silent. The disciples are in awe as I certainly would have been had I been in that boat. Truth be told, I would have likely woken Jesus up even sooner!

The point I simply want to make today is, there are those things in life we wait and wait for then suddenly, the wait is over. It is a new day. God does a lot in you and I while we wait. I have waited 5 painful years to see one huge answer to prayer and I am finally seeing it... suddenly there was a change and the day came. For ten years we have prayed as a church for a new place to worship and suddenly, God opened the door. 

The challenge in walking with God is believing that one day, as we walk by faith and not by sight, things will indeed change. In the meantime, we walk, we wait, we pray and we believe because "suddenly", one day, things will be different and the wait is over. 

One Journey- Two Different Perspectives

Imagine the scene- it is a bright and sunny day, you are entering a valley, it is a beautiful green valley. The path before you is level, but there are some dips, some twists and a few steep climbs along the way. The birds are singing. You can hear the stream bubbling along beside you singing its own tune. We soak it all in, the beauty around you, the path before you, its challenges but you walk and the Good Shephard is right there leading you and you are grateful. 

Then there is another traveler, the same scene exactly, but that is not how they perceive it. They notice the sun, but there are clouds also, they speculate in their mind, it will likely rain today. Every dip along the way seems more like a ditch. The twists on the path cause a quiet unseen panic to rise. They like seeing where they are going. They wish they were not so very alone on this journey. The silence is deafening. 

Nearby the Good Shepherd is calling to them, finding ways for them to notice His constant presence. His love for them is unwavering, and His voice calling to them is unceasing.

Life with mental illness is just like the second journey. The first traveller may have many judgments and suggestions that begin with " if you would just..." If it were only that simple. Thankfully, the truth found in Psalm 23 regarding the Good Shepherd, is just as true for both travellers. Both are dearly loved. However, when you stop and reflect, if a Shepherd is really good, would He not watch a little closer to the one with a broken limb, an eye that is hurt and it skews its view? 

Dirty Laundry

I am not crazy about wearing my own dirty laundry, let alone someone else's. Last week, I had a weird dream. I found myself wearing someone else's dirty pajamas! I could not understand, why in the world I would be wearing them! It's certainly not something I have done or plan to do. At least not in real life. However, metaphorically, is another issue. More than once that particular week, I found myself the recipient of out of proportion emotion from people which left me feeling heavy hearted. As I sat and prayed for over these conversations, I realized that I really had experienced my dream in a strange way. There are times, we find ourselves in situations, where people are in a difficult space or under pressure and then, without even realizing they are throwing the dirty laundry our way. The next question is, what are we going to do about it? Well, just like we don't like wearing our dirty laundry or other peoples'; we take it off and put on clean clothes. God never meant for us to wear the dirty old clothes that belong to other people. One real stunner if you ask me, is that people are happy to have us wear it! The blame, the fault finding, the out of proportion anger- unless we have done something clearly, we need to go to God with it. Ask Him, is this fair God? Is there something I need to pay attention to? Or is this something I need to simply throw off and fast! 

 Let's not wear what is not ours, we have enough of our own to deal with!

" I AM Here!"

More than once I have been in a boat with waves so high I feared for my life. In John 6: 16- 21 we find the disciples battling high waves. They were rowing hard. It is out of the wind and the waves to the voice of Jesus is heard “Do not be afraid, I am here!” (Vs. 20)

Jesus knows that when things seem out of control, fear quickly swells in the hearts of people. He does not rebuke the disciples for the fear; He simply reminds them (while walking on water) that He is here.

I also find it curious as we read about Jesus walking on water, (not an everyday sight certainly) the waves are high and the wind must have been blowing considerably to create that height of waves. It was not a quiet, calm night our Lord walked out to His disciples. The conditions were rough for boating let along walking on water!

In our life and ministry, we find ourselves facing many challenges and sometimes fear rises quickly, remember that the One who walks on water calls to you and me with the same words “ Do not fear, I am here!”

He never leaves us and He continues to give us what is needed for every situation we face.

Jesus had not told the disciples while still standing on the beach “ Do not be afraid, I am with you”. It was not until the waves were high and getting to the other side seemed impossible those words of encouragement were given.

This same truth is just as true today, as it was that day on that remarkable day on the sea.

"Chains" By Michael Dyck

Chains, we don't see them hanging off our soul, but we do see evidence of them. Chains come several varied in the forms; unforgiveness, greed, addiction, the list, long and varied.

My son Michael sent me a beautiful poem he wrote to today reflecting on chains and where in this world we can find freedom from them.

Chains

Chains, chains I find myself bound.

I have walked down a path where there’s no way I could be found.

I am surrounded by lies where freedom is hidden in disguise.

So my heart cries as it’s tried to find the prize but left empty handed.

  Because I looked not to the heavens but to the earth and its sky.

 Oh chains, chains, you hold me from freedom.

I looked to the world for answers and what I walked away with has acted more like cancer

 It started with a taste of what they claimed was freedom,

   Now my life is surrounded with voices, I can’t silence the demons.

  So it’s for this reason I am calling out the world of the highest level of treason.

You have stolen my freedom!

 So now I turn my head from this world’s wisdom and look upon a different kingdom.

There’s a God who says “Come to me and I will make you without blemish or stains,

Bring your burdens, your disgrace and the things keeps you shackled and I will break your chains.”

He tells me to lift my head because I now have a reason, call on my name and I will silence all the demons.

Come to me child and I will give you your freedom.

 By Michael Abram Dyck,  June 2017

Chin Up!

I remember sitting in the Dr's office one day and my very wise Dr. saying " Donna, the way you feel today is not forever". I found it hard to believe at the time, but she was right. I feel great now. The struggles that I face are not my own, but they sure affect me. 

As I sat yesterday and wrote in my journal for awhile and simply reflected on what these last number of months has been for me. Difficult, frightening, exhausting, heartbreaking are the words that come to mind. I wish the list were different, but I would be lying. 

Dealing with loved ones, struggling with addictions is nothing short of heart-wrenching. Watching them struggle, one bad day after another, knowing where addiction has taken others in my family, leads my heart down a dark path. 

Psalm 121 has been the Psalm I have quoted and leaned into on the darkest of days. " For I look onto the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from God, maker of heaven and earth."

I take comfort because we serve a Savoir who did not rise just a little bit, but rose indeed! He conquered death and He is all powerful, He is mighty to save. He reaches into the lowest hell and walks down the darkest allleys and is not afraid or turned off by the brokeness He finds there. Psalm 23 reminds us that He is a Good Shepherd, in this there is comfort and hope. Both of these things brings me rest for my soul. 

Whatever your burden today, chin up! God is big enough and loves you and is willing to carry all that weighs your heart down today. 

Five Top Things I would Tell My Teenage Self about Love

 1. Love will come to you, don't worry. You will be surprised and there is no need to fear. Trust that God is able to introduce you to the right man for you. And no, you are not ugly. 

2. You are worth the wait. Don't give what you can never get back. A dinner out does not equal and night of lovemaking, because that is not what it is, it is just plain sex. There is no comparison to be loved intimately by someone who will love you always and chooses you above all others is like expensive caviar.

3. You are not fat. The one who loves you won't care how much you weigh. Be the best you can be, but let's not speak horrible things about yourself.

4. The dream guy you had such a crush on, was bad news. Yes you thought life was over, but it wasn't. The right guy will come, just wait. He is way better than this guy. 

5. Your past is not a sentence you have to drag around. As you think about your future, God really does make all things new. You don't have to keep going back and wearing that old ratty sweater when God has something new and fits you perfectly. 

On My Side

Photo by pixelfusion3d/iStock / Getty Images

I woke up this morning with the words of a Christian song going through my mind. " If God is for us- who can stand against us" and it keeps repeating over and over again. I think that God is reminding me clearly- that He is very near by.

I saw this poster on my time-waster- Pinterest. It encouraged my heart and thought perhaps it would encourage someone else as well. 

While somedays the rest of the world may seem too busy to hear what is on your mind, there is One who is never far away. His ear is always attentive to our call. He will not ridicule us. He is eager for us to come near and He promises to come near to us. 

On those days when there are people or circumstances that are running against us, it is always good to know that there is someone who is on our side- God. He is just. It doesn't mean it will all work out just perfectly, but He will give to us wisdom and strength for whatever we are going through. He also promises to fight for us when we ask Him to. Again, it is not always the way we thought He would go about it, but He remains faithful. He does defend us, He just does it on His timetable, not ours! 

Be encouraged today- for the Lord is on our side!

Walking on Water

One of the  hardest things I have ever done, was watch my daughter struggle with Crohn's Disease when she was 13. It was heart wrenching for us as parents. 

My brother struggled significantly with depression among other things . It is not solved in a day, there is no operation that will make it go  away. It is a long slow painful journey. Some people recover beautifully and some do not.  

There have been mornings when my heart was very heavy. Fear was nipping at every corner of my mind. "Where and how is this going to end?" Reading and writing out scripture has been very helpful. It reminds me of how big God is. 

It is so easy to allow the challenges- whatever they are to become bigger then the One who sees all things.

I was talking to God the other day on the topic of peace. I was feeling very little of it that day. I, like many people have a terrible habit of tying my peace and mental well being to the circumstances that seem to be screaming all around me. 

I asked the Lord, how do I learn to do that Lord, find peace in the midst of storms? He reminded me of the story of Peter walking on water ( Matthew 14:22-32). When you read and think about that story, you gotta wonder " why would Jesus who is all powerful, not keep the water smooth like glass while his brave disciple is walking on water?"

That is not what happened, there was a crazy wind and big waves! They distracted and terrified this disciple and immediately he began to sink. It is encouraging however, that as soon as Peter calls out to his Lord in terror, Jesus reaches out His hand and pulls him up and rebukes Peter for so quickly believing that the wind and waves would change his ability to walk on water. 

I confess, I do not like big wind and waves, just like I do not like facing the suffering I have and do see around me. Life is seldom without trials for any of us. One storm seems to lead to the next. How we respond to the storm is a big deal. 

When I talked to God about  this matter of peace, He simply reminded me to keep my eyes locked on Him and to remember that He is and always will be big enough for whatever trials and storms we must go through. My peace or lack of peace, is tied to where I allow my eyes and to heart settle.

Keeping our eyes locked on this truth is exactly what leads us to be people who" walk on water" in the midst of tremendous storms. 

A Solid Hope

 I had a dream last night, really in some respects, it was strange, but reflecting on how I am feeling some days, it made perfect sense. 

We all have those great days, when the path has the sun shining on it and the way before you is clear and uncluttered. Those are great days! I love those days! 

Then there are the days you feel like you are barely keeping your head above water and it seems like it is not be getting any easier. In my dream, I was up to my chin in water. I could barely breathe. Fear was gripping my heart, so somehow,  I got out of the water and walked away. The thing weird part was this tank of water was suppose to take me to somewhere better at least that was what I was being told. To me, I did not believe it, so I got out.  

Part of being human is to live by what we see in front of us, if a car is coming at you when you are out for a walk, you tend to move out of the way. When tough times come, the thought that often greets us early on is when will this ever end and where is the exit please?

Psalm 6 is written as a lament and the writer is not speaking to God about all the sunny days of his life. It has been a long and tumultuous journey and yet the Psalmist continues to look to God to hear his prayer for deliverance and takes comfort in the knowledge that God who is over all and above all,  hears his cry. Sometimes what we need most is the desire to know that someone hears and understands our struggle. 

Psalm 7 we see the Psalmist calling out to God to come to his rescue as well. He is in rough shape, that is very evident. I am not quite that bad, but I think we all have days when discouragement is nipping pretty badly at our heals. I like how the psalmist speaks so cofidently of God's unwavering love for him. I find constant comfort in the knowledge of God who loves me always and who is well aware of the place I find myself today. When I call out to Him, He hears me. In this I find peace and fear slips quietly away. May this bring to you the same encouragement and peace for whereever you find yourself today. 

God's Voice in the Midst of a Changing Landscape

Sometimes plans change and not just a little bit. It can be deeply unsettling, in fact, it can steal every ounce of joy in you. In this festive season, we celebrate the joy of a Savoir, but sometimes frankly all the carols and shortbread cookies, cannot address the unsettledness of your own soul. Then what?

This is where I found myself yesterday. I was overcome by a situation in our lives we are facing. It is unsettling, to say the least. I felt like I had gained 25 pounds except it was not physical weight, but a heaviness that pulled from the core of my being. 

I took out my Bible and started to read Psalm 46. This is a Psalm that describes God who is present in the changing landscape- earthquake, mountains crumbling and the ocean waters surging and how the writer of the Psalm will not give into fear because "The Lord of Heavens Armies is here among us; the God of Isreal is our fortress". (Psalm 46:7)

The drive home yesterday afternoon was brutal but a gift to me. It gave me time to turn off the radio, sit in traffic and be still and know that God is indeed God. Psalm 46:10 tells us to be still and know that He is God". It is hard sometimes to remember that God is bigger then any mountain that is crumbling in front of us- hopes, expectations, circumstances

God's Voice in the Dessert

I have never been a desert wanderer, but I have camped in it once. As the darkness fell, out came the largest beetles I have ever seen. You could hear them rattling through the night. 

I was praying this morning and reflecting on the desert wandering of God's people after they left Egypt. Here we meet them, wandering, complaining and God's pillar of fire with them. It must have been an incredible thing to walk in the shadow of His presence. He provided manna to eat and sandals which would not wear out.

Somehow we assume, when God is so clearly near by- shouldn't it be easier? Should we not be trouble free? They found themselves chased by Pharaoh and his army. They felt trapped and maybe even tricked! And they were not silent about it. They let their displeasure be  known to Moses and to God. We know that God did performed a miracle right in front of their eyes, an experience that would be shared for hundreds of years to follow, 

How many times do we ask ourselves- what else could possibly go wrong? Does God not see that I am at my limit here? 

And yet- even in these difficult moments all of God's wonderful promises remain true. He says to us " Do not fear, do not look anxiously about you, for I am your God, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold us, with His righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

God is faithful to carry out His promises, even though it looks very messy at the moment. He has not ceased being faithful. God never changes. He is for us and not against us. He hears our cry in the dessert and will answer. 

Martha! Martha! Give Your Head a Shake!

  I am very much like Martha. I like action. I am not a good sitter- unless I am watching Netfilx!

I was reading the story of Mary and Martha the other day. I have spent a good part of my life defending Martha as I identify very well with her. I always think-" where would potlucks and parties be without Martha!?".  

When we think about the season ahead and the entertaining. f you are like me, I am planning menu's and scouring Pinterest for ideas. Like many- we love people through food. BUT, if it causes us to become so focused on the task- which is easier if we Martha's are to be honest, we miss the quiet voice of what our Heavenly Father may want to say to us. 

Every day, He has a word of encouragement for us from His Word or through a song we listen to. He is pretty creative, but we need to be listening. Hospitality is wonderful, but it is also very distracting. 

I have been and still am walking a very challenging path these days. Hospitality, really is far from my mind. Today- I need to get my footing for the journey I am on. I gain that through quiet moments with God and His Word. He steadies my foot each step. 

At this time, my dear Martha sister who thinks like me- when we take the time with our Heavenly Father this season- whatever that is to you. Know that God brings perspective and insight as we love and care for people along the way. 

Looking Beyond

Sitting in the Dr's office waiting for one very dear to us to be finished. I feel weary to my core. Yet, it was in this moment the God spoke to me.

He told me to look past this moment and that this is not forever. He reminded me that while the temptation is to put my trust in people or Dr's is great and may be easier, really my trust needed to be in Him.

Then as I sat there praying, in my minds eye I could see what looked like a massive pair of scissors, reaching down through the heavens, cutting off what from my point of view are massive chains. From God's point of view, they look like threads. It may sound weird but God often speaks to me in pictures. This one brought me comfort and proper perspective.

Since this day( which was only two days ago), I have had remarkable peace. There is comfort- great comfort and peace to know that the One who holds the universe in His hand, who is perfect and all wise, abounding in love- sees me and the one so very dear to us. In the middle of our struggles and heartbreak- there is light and peace and the presences of God Almighty.

Loving People Struggling with Depression

There was a season in my life where I had only one or two friends who were not struggling with depression or anxiety and were not on medication. I was surprised to discover how very common it is. Loving and caring for them in a healthy way was an important discovery for me. 

I do not claim to have mastered it- but I am better today then I was. I didn't realize what depression really was lived out in front of my eyes. You would think I would considering my own brother struggled with it intensely. He mixed it with a lot of alcohol and later drugs. To be honest, that is what took centre stage. I was younger and I did not understand really the challenges he faced every day. 

It is hard to imagine depression if you have not lived it or have not lived very closely with someone who has to struggle under its burden. I do not know what it is to have to psyche myself to get out of bed and live another day, yet millions of people do this every single day. 

I do know what it is to love someone who struggles under this burden and likely many reading this know someone as well. 

I learned the hard way that I cannot talk them out of their depression, I was naive enough one time to think I could. I learned to listen and to pray for them and leave them to God. It is utterly exhausting otherwise. Clearly, if they are not on medication and need to be, I have encouraged them to do that. It is not a sin. If they were not on the right meds, I encouraged them to go see the Dr. and get the right medication. 

1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that "love is patient and love" is kind and it goes on in a few verses later that "love never gives up, never loses faith, it is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance" (verse 7).

To love people truly, it requires God's love to be streaming through us. It is very challenging to love people with this struggle of depression- but love we do.  We love without becoming angry or impatient. That is not helpful. We pray for them and ask God for wisdom in what to even say or do next. He does lead us. He knows this person better then we do. We will never talk these dear people out of depression, but we may pray them out! 

This is what I do know. God does not give up on me. May He give strength and love to never give up on others.  Wise boundaries, certainly, but not to the point we become useless. When the person struggling with depression and see only clouds on a sunny day, we gently remind them of just where the sun is shining, if only a little bit. 

May God give to each of us wisdom and the love we need to love those who must live with this very difficult burden. No one hopes they get to grow up and get to deal with depression. Be patient, wise and loving. If you are short on any of these - Go to the one who has a boundless supply. 

Feeling Like a Bother

With my phone in hand, I want to text or call one of my kids( they are all grown up by the way) or a friend. Surely they won't mind if I just text or even phone them and ask how their day is going? Then I wonder to myself- " Why are you hesitating? "I stop and come to the realization that their are days I feel like a bother to people; even people who I know love me. 

I trace the thoughts in my head and I hear things like " they are very busy Donna, don't bother them. They will think you are needy or something. Or maybe they will think " this woman needs more to do in her life." 

You may think " this is crazy; why would anyone think like this. I am pretty sure I am not alone. Many who are parents of adult children with busy lives will tell you something similar. Sometimes it is the belief that you really are not all that important- self esteem is at the low end of the spectrum.

On the good new front,  I don't think like this every day- but I do some days.

I was praying about my " I feel like a bother" thinking. I was reading in Matthew Chapter 7:1 it tells us " Do not judge". I always think about that in quite a different context. This time I could hear the Lord gently saying "you should not judge others on how they think when you contact them. It is wrong of you to come to such a conclusion. " It changed the way I was thinking. I asked the Lord to forgive me for my judgments and He gave me peace. 

Maybe I am being ridiculous, maybe I am not. I thought " well if I feel like this, I am sure there are others that do as well." 

What to take away from this simple blog today? If you struggle as I do; don't assume. If this is never your struggle, it may be someone you know. Maybe the next call or text you receive say something like- "it is so good to hear from you!" If nothing else, you will warm someone's heart today. 

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God- The One who Never walks away

God is different. He never walks away.

They say that how your earthly Father behaves will be reflected in your perception of God. I have spent a good part of my life with the fear that Jesus would walk away in times of trouble. 

My dad walked out on us when I was 10 years old. His choice was to give up drinking or leave and he left. That is often a common story of the addict- whether is is drugs or alcohol. They leave behind them a wake of broken hearted people who love them desperately. 

God is not an addict. He is not one to walk away. He does not carry a cell phone which He checks constantly while you are pouring your heart out to Him. Psalm 46 reminds me that He is  our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Matthew 28:20 reminds me that Jesus is indeed with me " always to the end of the age". Psalm 119:89-90 "Your word, Lord is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues though all generations; you establish the earth and it endures." 

God never walks out the door in good times or bad. He is faithful and fully trustworthy. He is attentive to our cry for help. He sees our fears and is familiar with all our ways. Be encouraged, God is very different and in all good ways!

God knows I jump to old ways of thinking quite quickly. It is  at times and His Spirit reminds me that He is very present. I see Him intervene in remarkable ways. He knows how much I can take in a day. Sometimes I think it should be a little less- yet He gives me strength and wisdom. 

If you had a great dad, then I am happy for you. This struggle perhaps is not yours, but it is many other peoples. If you had a dad who was a disappointment in whatever way- please know the your Heavenly Father is different. He is not displeased with you. You can win with Him. He does not walk away and He will never never give up on you. His love for you is as sure as the sun rising and setting each day. Even behind the clouds that fill the sky today- the sun shines just as brightly behind the clouds, just like God's faithful abiding presence in your time of trouble.