"It is what it is"... Really?

How often I have caught myself saying these very words, “it is what it is” or” What’s a person to do?” As if we have no recourse. We just give in like we are being carried in a canoe with no paddles down a river as the current carries us.

Prayer is a bit like putting paddles in that river, a skilled canoeist can navigate around rocks even in rapids. They can also navigate remarkably high waves and if you put your paddle in at the height of the wave, and pull hard, you can move against the current. You have to dig deep into the water. No lily dipping as the term of pathetic paddling is called if you plan to make any progress.

When we find ourselves up against an evil day, faced with alarming news, we turn to Ephesians 6:10-18 “Finally be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” His schemes take many forms. They produce in us confusion, fear, discouragement and sometimes anger. If you read this passage, you see the armour that God gives to His people. He calls us to put it on- all of it.

Luke 1:37 reminds us that nothing is impossible to God.

What is gripping your heart today? Lay it at His feet. Nothing is too big or too small. This is one of the amazing things about God. Leave your burdens there and give thanks. You will never hear Him say to you “Oh, I am sorry my child; this burden is too much for Me.”

His throne room is open 24/7 and you are always welcome. However, don’t come emptying your backpack of burdens while you are harbouring resentment or things you have done that you know have grieved God. Forgive who you should forgive and confess to Him what you ought. This practice will give you a clear pathway to take all those burdens and lay every single one down.

He loves you and He sees you. We don’t have to just give up and join the choir of voices who say “ it is what it is.” Let’s go to God and ask Him to step in to whatever the situation. He is big enough!

When Silence Wins the Day

It has taken a while, but one thing I have learned, sometimes it is better to say nothing. Silence is not my default I confess, but I have learned that sometimes it is wise.

Today I was walking my dog Penny along the Toronto rail path. There is a fence at this section of the trail that is about 6 feet high. Penny was sniffing the grass next to the fence and I was watching her. Then, when I looked up and saw not 20 feet from me, a huge coyote watching us, I chose silence! I did not point this coyote to Penny, she was busy and I just simply got her walking.

We often find ourselves in conversations with different people. We all have strong opinions and convictions. Sometimes it is right to speak up and say what is on your heart. However, knowing when the right time to speak, is important to recognize. I have learned to take a step back and ask myself if it is time to share this pearl that that precious to me or if this individual just going to kick it aside.? That is always the risk we take. Ask yourself “ does this person have ears to even hear what I am saying?” or “is this the right time to speak up?” Timing matters.

Bil, (my husband) has a saying I have always liked and have tried to apply. “ Not all truth should be spoken as not all truth is helpful”

Proverbs 25:11 says “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver”. (NKJV) This is good advice for our day!

Speak up or stay quiet, that is the question! May God give you wisdom!

The Fight with Anxiety- 3 Steps I use to win!

It is fairly common to battle anxiety. The curious thing about Anxiety is that it is not a 9 to 5 battle. At night , it can intensify. Magazines are full of visualization ideas, positive thinking strategies, however for me, these fall short. They do not address the engine inside me that drives my anxiety.

Today I sat with God and we talked about the anxiety. He reminded me that fear sits right next to it. That is true. If we fail to name the fear that drives our anxiety- we won’t get far. Philippians 4:6-7 are often our go to verse’s. We go to God, lay down our anxieties and the peace of God is supposed to follow. In my experience it does but I have discovered for me, there are a few steps I need to follow. first.

1- Name your fear; what are you worrying about, name just one thing. Think of a backpack and take out only one thing at a time.

2- Now - take a moment to breathe and just rest before God, even if that anxiety is sticking to your hand like glue. Reflect for a moment- who is God? What is He like? What do you know about Him that is true? Now that you have done that. take that fear and lay it down. Thank Him that He is big enough and powerful enough to deal with whatever this is.

3- Ask Him now to turn your fear into Faith that will move mountains and then receive it in the Name of Jesus.

Maybe you are thinking “ Donna this is too simple.” I need simple and that is how my Lord instructs me. This is exactly the steps I walked through with Him this morning. I had two things in my anxiety backpack and I dealt with each one, walking through these three steps. I have peace now. Try it, you have nothing to lose and peace and faith to gain.

Never Beyond His Reach!

Read Psalm 139

There are several reasons listed in this psalm that can strengthen our hope as we see that our loved one is never beyond God’s reach.  The first is that God knows our loved ones thoroughly.  He discerns their thoughts from afar and is acquainted with every one of their ways.  Even before a word is on their tongue, God knows it.  While our loved ones are often a mystery to us, they are never to God.  We don’t know what they are thinking about, where they are going, or even where they are at this very moment.  But God does.

 Second, God puts limits on our loved ones.  He hems them in.  To be hemmed in is to be surrounded and limited in how far one can move.  Even when they push hard to live without restraint and on paths of their own making, they are still hemmed in.  God limits their movements and keeps them from going fully down destructive paths, particularly as we pray.  That is how intensely He is with our loved ones.

 Third, our loved ones can never escape God.  Even if this is their intention.  Truthfully, there is nowhere they could go that He is not there. The dark is as light to Him. He is found not just in the heavens, but also in the darkest places. It doesn’t matter.  God still holds authority in these places and is not afraid of them.  Our loved ones are never alone, even if they believe otherwise.

 Fourth, we are reminded that God has a plan laid out for our loved ones when they are ready to take that path. He knit them together skillfully while yet in their mother’s womb and set the number of their days before one of them came to be.  Though they are full of their own thoughts and plans, God’s are not so easily set aside.  God never stops calling their name to come to Him. He is tenacious in his love.

 Fifth, God deals with evil influences set against your loved one.  He takes a stand against people who would draw your loved ones away and would harm them.  This is a great comfort to us as we pray.

 Our Father’s love is so great.  We can rest in this today. Nothing is shocking to Him. They are not beyond his reach. As you pray today, entrust the care of our precious ones to our Father who knows them better than we do and sees them when we do not.

 Dear Father,

 Trusting my loved one into Your hands is so much easier when I read this Psalm. I know that You understand them better than I do. Thank You that they cannot escape Your presence. You are always there, and I am thankful. I give my precious one into Your hands today.

 In Jesus Name,

 Amen 

5 Simple Things that can help us have a great day!

It’s a Great Day!

“Another day to make the most of!”

1.     Forgive people who wronged you. If you don’t, it’s like you’re giving them a piggyback all day. They weigh you down. It doesn’t mean you’re excusing their bad behavior or terrible things they said. It means you forgive them for it.

2.     Give thanks to God for 10 things. We can focus on a cup half-empty, or we can take a good look at what is there. Giving thanks for the really simple things. This is a good place to start. “I get to live another day.” Start there!

 3.     Live today with your eyes on what is before you. Don’t waste a lot of energy looking backward. We can certainly learn from the past, but we don’t want to live there. Otherwise, put one foot before the other and keep going!

 4.     Being kind and thoughtful is always nice. Who nearby can use a word of encouragement? A plate of cookies or some flowers? They say it’s more blessed to give than receive. I have always found this to be true.

 5.     Be kind and compassionate to others, and to yourself. Don’t speak poorly of others and yourself. It makes a huge difference. We can talk our way into any ditch. It does not take a seminar to learn how!

The Harsh Truth I Finally Faced

Almost two years ago I decided to start running again. I used to run when I was in my twenties and have not done it since. Because I was running once more, I thought that I would be able to shed a couple of pounds in no time. I’ve seen those videos where a good-sized woman would walk and get smaller and smaller with every passing day. I thought that I would be just like her … except I wasn’t. Even though I was running again, I actually ended up gaining weight. People said my extra weight was muscle, and maybe they were right. However, let me tell you, the extra fat I continued to drag around was making me crazy and it didn’t seem like it was going anywhere anytime soon.

 What was my problem? Well, I spent my summer eating whatever I wanted. I believed that if I ran 5 km two or three times a week, what I ate wouldn’t matter. I baked until my heart was content because baking is a great love of mine. It turned out; I was wrong – my diet did matter.

 I began a new workout program last fall. It is a workout for women over 50 and I qualify. I really liked working out with the instructor. She kept saying that weight loss and fitness are not the same thing. She even said, “you do not have to exercise to lose weight.” What?!

 As I worked out, the instructor would often repeat, “you have to make peace with your menopausal body.” This is something I had not done – there was no peace. I tried to tell myself I was fine with the way I looked; except I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I finally decided that enough was enough. One day, I looked in the mirror and again saw a reflection I didn’t like. I finally asked myself, what was I going to do about it? I resolved that day to be different. No more cookies. No more chips. Basically, no more of anything that started with “c.” Things that start with “c” are my nemesis. Yet, even after my resolve, day after day, there was no change. I was “fit” but that was it. I wanted to be fit and trim.

 I needed to address the sayings I’ve embraced for a long time. Life is too short to not eat cookies or whatever else I might want. I really liked this saying and I lived by it, especially throughout the pandemic. I also blamed my thyroid which is slow (something I need medication for). I had all my reasons perfectly lined up. It was not until I was willing to admit that these beliefs were no longer serving me. They were, in fact, hurting me.

 I recently joined a weight loss program and have really been sticking with it. I have an accountability buddy which also helps. I am about 8 weeks in and am down about 10 pounds. It is slow but steady progress. I’ve found that whether I see progress or not, I honestly feel much better. I’ve dropped my cookie habit along with other things that I was doing which were not helpful. I know that some people can do this on their own, and I think that is amazing. I am, however, not in that category. I need help and inspiration!

 I have asked God to help me with self-control since it is clearly an issue for me with foods starting with “c.” I have also admitted to the lies I’ve told myself and addressed the motivations behind my goals. I am also trying to be gentle with myself. I cheer when I see changes. I celebrate another cookie-free day.

 If you are where I am and my story has been a help, then I am thankful. If you are at peace with yourself, that is great. We all need to be the best we can be. That is one thing no one else can do for us.

5 Reasons Grandmothers Need to be Forgiving

We have only this one shot at being a great Grandma or Oma or whatever your precious grandchildren call you. There are some things that will creep in and become a stumbling block, unforgiveness is one of them. Here are 5 reasons why I believe it is important to practice forgiveness, not just in the present, but looking back also.

1.  There are many little eyes listening to you. The bitterness that has been left to smolder in your heart all these years has only matured. Now, that old wound expresses itself as you overreact or over reply to perceived offenses. Now those same young eyes are watching you and listening to you. What message are you giving?

 2.  Unforgiveness steals a bit of joy over the simple beauties of this life. That is sad because we won’t get these days back. We know this because we have lived long enough to know how precious life is.

3. Unforgiveness can be habit-forming. That is a terrible habit to get into. Unforgiveness is very weighty on our soul. We don’t want to carry that around with us. As we both know, life is too short.

4.  We do not want to become that grumpy old lady that we have all met a time or two when we were growing up. We want to be kind and gracious. That only comes when we chose to forgive and forgive from the heart as Jesus instructs us to.

5.  By this time in life, we have all lost a few friends along the way. Some because they moved away and some because that friendship was for a season. Some, however… it was a misunderstanding, or some decision made that hurt you. Look around, we don’t have that many friends left. Be gracious, let it go, and forgive. It sets a wonderful example for the little ones who watch us.

I know there are more reasons, but these are the first five that came to my mind. I hope that it gives you something to think about!

What Kind of Grandma do I want to be?

I want to be the kind of grandma who listens when my grandchildren speak. I want them to know that they are important to me and that I believe in them and that I pray every day for them.

 I want to be the kind of grandma who plays games with them. My hope is also to keep myself in good enough shape that I can run and play with them and not just rock in a rocking chair.

 I want to be the kind of grandma that tells their grandchildren stories about cool things I have seen God do. I want them to know that He is real, and He answers prayers. I want them to know that Jesus is the One who informs how I live my life every day.

 I want to be a grandma that can bake with their grandchildren when I have the opportunity. I want to be able to bake buns for them and buy nice presents- not necessarily expensive, but ones that they would like. This is not easy to do, as some of them are pretty hard to please. I do listen to what their parents suggest though. I check with them when I have an idea. At least this way, I know if it is a great idea.

 I will never speak badly of their parents to them. I still remember my grandmother telling me when I was about 8 years old that my dad was “no good”. I will never do that.

 I want to be the kind of grandma that when God decides my time is up, my grandchildren will be sad and want to come to my funeral even if they are teenagers by then with some great plans for the that day. I don’t want their parents to have to beg them to be there.

 I want my life to matter to them. I want them to know without a second thought, “my grandma loves me and I am important to her.”

 We can’t all bake, nor run, but we can all love well. We can all choose our words wisely. We can all listen when they talk. Stop when they are showing us the same dandelions for the fourth time. We can pass on to them what we believe to be true. For me, it is my faith in Jesus. I want them to know that without Jesus, I would be lost.

 Be the best grandma you can be. It is one thing, no one else can do for you.

The What If’s of Addiction

It is pretty hard to walk with someone you love and not ask yourself “what if…”. What if they don’t make it home safely? What if they lose their job? What if they get killed stumbling into a car because they are so drunk or high? What if they get robbed on their way home or beat up? What if they never change? What if they never get sober or clean? The “what if” questions can consume the hearts and minds of those who love them. 

I have NO idea how anyone can walk this wretched path without faith, without the privilege of going to the one who sees all. It is one massive steep climb. I needed God to walk with me (even push me) up that mountain. I know there were times He even carried me. I came to the end of myself many times. I know I am not someone with limitless strength and stamina. I desperately needed what only God could give me. Kind friends and family played a huge role, but they can not give the strength required to get up that mountain. They can cheer and encourage (both of which are great), and … they can pray, which is huge! The Lord, who is my Shepherd, walked with me daily; moment by moment. 

When all you can see seems utterly unredeemable because they just look too messed up, know that as long as they are still breathing, there is hope. I learned to not put my hope in my loved one, but rather I looked beyond and put my trust in God. Psalm 121: 1-2 reads like this: “I lift my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord who is Maker of Heaven and earth.” It was in the looking beyond, where hope was and is born. This is something I had to do countless times. 

There is no guarantee with addiction. Out of 3 alcoholics in my family, only one found sobriety and continues to live day by day making that important choice. My dad never really found sobriety, but I hope and pray he was able to make peace with God before he died. As for my brother, I have hope there as well. Both stories are messy and heartbreaking. I look to God’s mercy and grace. There is nothing else I can do as they are both long passed away. 

We all have to journey pathways we would never choose. Perhaps it is a serious physical illness, or loving someone with mental illness, and it is just so challenging every day. My prayer for you is that you will put your hope and trust in God. I look to Jesus every single day. The challenges I face today are not like they were, but one cannot live without some new trial raising its head. That is simply what life is. We have seasons of joy and laughter, and seasons where life is just plain hard. We all have a choice: how will we face these days? 

I choose Jesus. He has never failed me. He loves me and He loves you and your loved one who maybe keeps you awake at night. If you need someone to help you make the steep climb, I know one who would love to do it with you. You just need to ask Him. 

Why it Bugs the Devil When we Pray for Prodigals

I have been thinking about this for the last several weeks. We all know people who have walked or wandered from the God we love. As parents or siblings, we know the pain that it brings with it. Why does it bug the devil so much?

A few weeks ago the thought raced through my mind to gather people who are praying for their very own prodigal. I kept ignoring the nudge, but it persisted. So, I posted my idea not knowing what to think. Surprisingly, a group of people joined me. However, before the meeting, I was overwhelmed by doubt and I felt like my head was in a vice grip. I asked a friend to please pray for me and it lifted. I have had this happen before and it has always been when I was engaged in something the devil would rather I left alone. Honestly, for me, it serves as a confirmation that praying as a group for prodigals is a great idea.

One of the reasons I think that praying for prodigals is important is simply because it can take the wind out of the sails of those who love them. It can be discouraging and a real “faith drain” especially if you have prayed for a long time. When our faith runs out that is when the faith of others can make a big difference. Sometimes we have all the faith in the world for other people’s prayer requests but ours which is so precious to us, wanes.

It encourages me deeply today Isaiah 43:5-6 “ Do not be afraid, for I am with you, I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!” and to the south, ‘ Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth- everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

The beauty of praying for prodigals is that you can be confident that you are praying within the will of God

If you want to join me as we pray for prodigals, let me know. You can email me at donnaleadyck@gmail.com. We are meeting every second Tuesday night. 8:00 pm EST. You are welcome to join. It is all on Zoom.

Problems that I am Powerless to Solve

It seems that there are weeks that problems roll in like a train carrying cargo. One thing happens, then the next and you think you are done but no… here come another one. When I have the power to solve what is in front of me, then perfect. Get out the glue gun and do the needed repairs.

In my mind, I see a basket full of trouble, I pull each one out and see very clearly, there is nothing I can do no matter what angle I look from. I can dream up a lot of angles, let me tell you. Solving problem is my middle name!

Of course, at night these things haunt me. I have to work really hard to just not think. Very quickly I feel tormented and overwhelmed. Everything seems worse at night, doesn’t it?

I start to pray and giving these things all over to God. Like Psalm 121 1-2says “ I lift up my eyes to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” I would like to tell you that the peace just came washing over me, but it did not.

I continued to pray and remembering verses that would bring comfort to my troubled heart. Then, after quite some time, I heard Him speak” Donna, in this world, you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) And that was it. Peace came and I went to sleep. Honestly, I think it was about 3:30 am by then!

God does bring peace to our troubled hearts, but He does not always bring the solutions as quickly as we like. He is full of surprises though. It has taken me a long time to learn to bring my fears to God, people that are difficult, situations and injustices that I cannot change, and simply leave them there and then give thanks. He is big enough to carry the load that I have dumped at His feet. I am powerless to change any of these things, but He is not.

What is in your basket full of trouble you cannot solve? Give it over to the One who is big enough.

.

Finding Peace in the Storm of Attempted Suicide

Hearing that your very own young adult has tried to take their life yet again is enough to suck the breath out of anyone. I am not sure how many times we were called to the hospital to sit with our loved one who thought ending life would be easier than going on living it.

The cloak of shame and despair was evident as we sat next to that hospital bed. Needless to say, our prayer life was pretty intense during this season. We always pray- but let me tell you that when you are in this particular pit- the prayers are desperate.

Psalm 23 will forever be a comfort to me regardless of the season I find myself. God promises to us that He is the Good Shepherd- not absent or forgetful. He promises that He will restore our soul and that even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we shall fear no evil. Have you ever wondered “ why is it only a shadow?” I asked God this one day and He reminded me that Jesus who said” He is the Light of the World” is also the Good Shepherd. When you walk with One who is light, we only walk in a shadow because of His great light. I have never liked the dark- so walking through the shadow always gives me hope.

I remember sitting in the emergency area of the hospital during another attempt. I was struck by a security guard sitting just outside the hospital room to make sure our loved one did not leave. I could not believe we were in this same situation yet again and wondered Lord- how will this all end? It is hard to imagine as a parent, watching someone you love so intensely, be so consumed with such hopelessness.

We looked to the Good Shepherd to meet us and He did. We looked to Him to minister to our beloved and He did. I wish I could say and this must have been the last of the trips to the hospital- it was not, nor was it the end of the drinking which was the engine behind all of it. But that day would come. We had to wait and pray.

We celebrated 3 years of sobriety for our loved one this past Spring. We could not be prouder of our son. It is an amazing accomplishment to live sober for him and it is a battle fought every day. He looks to God to help him as do we. He values his life now as God slowly heals the wounds of the soul as only God can.

If you or a loved one has had to walk this path, I want you to know that there is One who is able to comfort you and can reach into the life of that loved one whose life is consumed with ending it. There is no magic formula but I can tell you that for us, our hope was and is in God. May He give you wisdom and strength. This is not a journey I would wish on anyone nor is it one I can imagine walking without the Good Shepherd at my side.

Five Solid Reasons Why Teaching Kids to "make do" Matters

Michael and the family flamingo!

It was two summers ago when my husband chose to purchase this ridiculous flamingo. Most people would use it to just float around on… but not my family. We have a small boat. When we go to the beach which is about a 15-minute boat ride across the lake, we take turns. We were a family of six now we are a family of 16!! When we get together for holidays at our trailer and the decision is made to go across the lake to the beach… that is a lot of trips for our little boat. So this particular summer, Michael who is blowing up the flamingo ( there was quite a bit of complaining as I recall), when it came time to go across the lake, Michael and his wife Jordan decided to paddle the flamingo across the two or so miles across the lake to the beach. It was really funny. The lake was filled with all these fast boats ( not ours but it works just fine) and then across the lake comes this flamingo. It was memorable.

Bill and I certainly bought our kids what was needed or had them pray for what we could not afford. We also taught them that sometimes we need to make do with what we have. Why does this matter?

1. We cannot always afford what is newest and best and often do not need to.

2. It helps kids become resourceful (flamingo across the lake- it would not cross most people’s minds)

3. It helps kids learn that sometimes we need to be content with what we have now. This is never a bad lesson. It helps fight against the consumer mentality that is so prevalent in our day.

4. It challenges kids to take care of what that bike or sweatshirt or whatever when they understand it will not be replaced so easily. Therefore, they need to take very good care of what they have now.

5. It is more environmentally friendly. We teach this to our kids already from all kinds of angles, this is another one!

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The Beauty of Time Out and Kids

I was thinking back to when my kids were small and the role “ Time out” played. I remember it was really a big deal and it helped them and it helped me.

I remember one day in particular, one of my boys were being really difficult and I felt like tearing my hair out. It was a rainy day and all four kids were pretty tired of being inside and behaviour was not exactly stellar in the Dyck household. I realized that there was one boy who was behind a lot of the grief.

Sometimes we don’t hear ourselves repeating ourselves over and over again. That was me on this day. Like I said last week…. parenting children who do not listen to you is exhausting. I do remember that day thinking '“ what this boy needs is a time out”. I know it is not rocket science but it is really easy to not catch on to what is really needed. It is good to ask questions which I see parents do and if that is enough to curb the behaviour which is not acceptable- then that is perfect. Parents do need another tool in the parenting tool box to reach for when just a conversation was not enough and for me, that was a time out.

I found that it would change the behaviour. I have heard the phrase “reset” and for many kids, it is highly effective. There was times where I gave a 5 or 10 minute time out and it was not long enough. Nothing had changed and I would send them back to their bed to take some more time. I remember several times that when I sent one of the kids, especially when they were very young, I would find them asleep when I would go to tell them that 5 or 10 minutes was up. Sometimes the kids are just plain tired.

I realize that” time outs” do not work for every kid. I was lucky I suppose because they did work for mine. Time-outs gave me the time to calm down if I was really upset about what I was seeing and time for the child to think about what they could do differently. I would always talk to the child about what happened and what they were going to do differently. The child always knew that I meant what I said. I would try to follow up accordingly if they did not change their behaviour.

I was by no means a perfect mom but I certainly tried my best. I had good days and bad days. Remembering that giving a kid “ time out” was often part of a good day as it made the day much more enjoyable for everyone.

How long that time out was depended on how old they are but I confess I did start them pretty young, Willful defiance - when a child does not listen in my humble opinion needs to be addressed. The sooner the better. Kids need to know that listening to mom or dad when they say “ don’t jump into the deep end of the pool” needs to be obeyed. If they learn that listening is optional then that can become a big and even dangerous problem not only that, it can become habit forming and that can be a nightmare for the child and for the parent.

May God give to you wisdom as you parent. It is the hardest job to date that I have had the privilege of doing. I certainly needed all the help I could get and still do from a source that was beyond myself and for me that is always God.

The Most Exhausting Thing in Parenting

Parenting is likely the most rewarding thing a parent will do in their lifetime and also the hardest. I remember my best summer with my four kids in the parenting department. It was the summer I lost my voice. I could only whisper for two months.

When I spoke to the kids, they listened. I could not repeat myself over and over nor could I yell. The kids believed me when I spoke. I would get down to their level and say what I had to say and make sure they understood. They usually whispered back.

Children need to believe that you really are the one in charge. They can have their opinions and we can listen to them, but if your opinion never seems to trump theirs’ you are really in trouble. There are also times when listening to their opinion is not optional. I think when every moment of parenting is a debate, that is also exhausting.

It is utterly exhausting to repeat yourself 5 or 6 times and until they really believe you mean what you say. Until then, they are not going to listen. Listening is not something that is done on their timetable, but yours.

What happens if we raise kids that don’t listen? Will they listen when they get a job? Will they listen when a car is coming and they are going to run into the road? Will they listen when it is truly in their best interest? What about at school and their relationship with teachers?

Authority is given to us as parents and we need to use it wisely. We need children to grow up and be humble enough to listen and wise enough to believe that what those in authority are saying is important.

Listening is underrated in my humble opinion. I believe that part of raising children to be wise is to teach them to listen.

One Thing that Matters

I was thinking while I was out on my run today about life lessons and wondering where are people gaining their life lessons these days? I was concerned as I pondered this thought. There is so much ridiculous stuff on social media, T.V., or the various streaming services. I am by no means saying it is all bad or that we should not watch it. I question for myself sometimes, is it worth my time? Regardless, my point is that I dearly hope that our life lessons do not come from them.

Wisdom is priceless regardless of the season of life we find ourselves, and to have a storehouse full is amazing. I remember sitting with my mom or my mother-in-law and other people who had walked many roads for a long time. I loved just hearing their stories and what they had learned as they went along. I also learn a lot from the perspectives of people much younger than myself including children, they have some amazing insights that I would have totally missed.

I want to always be learning as I speak with people or as I read. I don’t want to be unteachable just because I have lived 6 decades now. There is so much more to learn.

I love reading the Bible and there I find so many important life lessons. To be honest with you, It really is my primary source. I love the book of Proverbs. It covers so many topics and there are 31 chapters, one for each day of the month. There is wisdom throughout the entire Bible. Some of it is mystifying I admit but that is why you have to study it and ask questions and understand the context. God has given us the Holy Spirit to teach us and He is the best teacher. There are all kinds of commentaries that help when I am really confused.

Proverbs 3:13-14 says this “ Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields more returns than gold’

Wisdom carries us a long way in this life. My prayer for you my dear reader is that you will be rich in it. We cannot buy it in any store but to possess it is to be rich indeed.

When Silence is Golden

The world is full of opinions and convictions, I have my own collection that I developed over the years. In the past few months with the challenges the world is facing, it takes one brief read of the world news to develop all kinds of opinions and convictions on health, behavior, and the wisest way forward. I think everyone has lots to say about all kinds of things these days.

As a parent though, especially as a grandparent, the wisdom to know when silence is best is invaluable. If you could buy that kind of thing in the store, the cost would be outrageous. Its value has no measure.

Proverbs 13:3 says “He who guards his lips, guards his life, but he who speaks rashly, comes to ruin.”

It is easy to jump to the conclusion “but if I don’t say something, nothing will ever change”. At times, that is true. The next question one needs to ask is this, who is it that should say anything? Sometimes it is our place to say something. Many times, especially as a grandparent, silence is wisest. Unless we are being asked point-blank, it is wise to say nothing. Sometimes silence is louder than words.

I was in a situation recently, with thoughts bursting in my head, somehow God in His quiet way reminded me that this issue that was gnawing at me, is His battle and not mine. I have been giving it over to God every single time it starts nagging me. It allows me to just be silent and trust that God hears my prayers which all me to thank Him that He because has it well in hand.

May God Himself give you the wisdom to know what battles are His to fight and which are your own. He is always willing to assist us no matter what!

Why Should I think about dying??

I know this sounds like a really morbid question, but truly it is not. It is a question we all need to consider and the sooner the better.

We hear a lot about people dying all over the world these days and it is indeed heartbreaking. Yet, I want to take a few moments to encourage you to think about the days you have before you which is a gift we call life? What do you want to leave behind you when you are finished all your days? No one knows how many days or years we have left.

Ask yourself what do you want to have left in the hearts and minds of people? What truths do you want to make sure the ones you love, fully understand are most dear to you? That you love them? Perhaps that sounds crazy, but many people struggle to say those words. I have not one memory of my father ever telling me he loves me. I know he did because my mom told me he did. He showed me he loved me in his own way, but words… no.

What is most dear to you? What are you doing to make sure the ones you want to know are actually hearing what is on your heart? You might think “but I am so young”. These questions are important because they inform us about how we should spend our time and how we speak.

For me, I like to keep things simple. I want my family to know that I love them with every fiber of my being and that Jesus really is exactly who He said He is. I want them to live their lives in such a way that they reflect His love and presence in their lives .

Psalm 90:12 says it perfectly “ Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

Taking these moments to consider this one question is wise and is especially beneficial if we act on our response.

Dearest Martha

To all my fellow Martha’s out there,

Thank you for all the food you have prepared, all the tables you have set, and the gifts you have given. You have blessed many people. Sitting is hard for you, and Jesus sees that. If “keeping busy” could be a middle name, it would be yours.

The need or habit of being busy can make it challenging to hear His voice speak in the silence. I live with a man who if Mary could be a man’s name, it would be his with capital letters. He can sit silently for hours, writing in his journal and reading his Bible. Then there is me, I have spent years feeling like I will never be enough as I can’t read my Bible endlessly nor write in my journal for hours. What a freeing revelation to discover that I am still loved by God and He loves me just as I am.

What I will do, is walk and talk to God, sweep and talk to God, listen to the Bible while I work doing whatever I am doing. I will for sure sit and read my Bible, but not like Mary. My walk with God differently.

Jesus loves Martha and I think if there is one thing He would want us to know it is this: it is ok to be busy, but we need to also listen for His voice even when we are doing what we do. When I came home from my run today, I was sitting in silence waiting to hear what God would have for me to write, and I heard nothing. I said to God, “Well, I am going to sweep the yard “ (my yard is all cement). Then, that is when I felt him say, write a Dear Martha blog.

Isaiah 40:31 tells all of us Mary or Martha, they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary and walk and not faint”. For the Martha’s reading this, our waiting may just look a little different, but the truth of this passage does not change.

God meets us as we wait and renews us. The passage in Scripture that I was thinking about as I wrote today was Luke 10:38-42. We meet a flustered and busy Martha, making a special meal for Jesus and whoever else was there. Yet, where is Mary? Sitting at Jesus’s feet oblivious to Martha and all the action of the kitchen. Martha was mad. I can understand that also. I would have felt exactly the same way as Martha but that was years ago. I have learned to let things go over the years. Mary discovered what mattered and Martha should have just planned differently - a simple meal that can be prepared when Jesus is finished.

Jesus is always wanting us to sit and be with him. This is a hard thing for us to do some days. There are times when I am excellent at sitting but not always.

If the disciples walked and talked with Jesus, so can we. They did not always sit and listen, but they also walked with Christ along the road all while hearing him speak.

So, to you my fellow Martha’s reading this, it’s ok. We are loved and all is well. Deep breaths! Things will work out, maybe not as perfectly as you had so carefully planned, but that is ok too, right?

The One Question I Believe God Asked me Today

I love when God speaks to me clearly. I wish I could say it is every day, but I would be lying. I believe God is always speaking, however, in my life, I think I just get too distracted to hear His voice.

Today I was making supper and listening to a podcast. I was thinking about my blog and how I had not gotten to it today. In a simple prayer, I asked Him, what is on Your heart today?

Then, I heard His still quiet voice amidst much talk about COVID, “do you think I am big enough? Do you think I Am big enough to walk with you through this valley of the shadow of death? Am I big enough to calm your fears to care for you or your loved ones contract COVID 19?

“Do you think I am big enough to direct the scientists as they look for a vaccine? Am I big enough to walk through this valley? For you, it is the first time you have seen something like this. For Me, there have been others. “

This is the simple question for today, do you think that God is big enough? Psalm 46 says this “ God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the sea…”.

I have never lived through anything to this extent but I have walked through many valleys and I can tell you that I have found God nothing but faithful and more than big enough for the greatest challenges life has brought my way. If God is not big enough for this current crisis, then I think we are really in trouble! God who hung the stars and formed the earth and gives us breath to breathe moment by moment is indeed more than able to walk with us through this valley, wherever it may lead.