My 1 Tip for an Overwhelming Day

I am not overwhelmed every day, nor anxious, but those days certainly come. How do you manage them?

In its simplest form, it is like those times I look at the kitchen or my house and everywhere I look it is a disaster. I think in my head.. where do I even start?

A few days ago, I made it my practice to ask myself what is the next thing I should do? I was surprised by how much I did accomplish and how little time I wasted. I thought I would take this critical question to the next level and ask Jesus to show me “ what is next Lord?”. I like to keep things simple. That has always worked for me.

I like to listen to podcasts, and there is one by Emily Freeman called “ The Next Right Thing” where this idea originated. She is smart and gives you something to consider. If you listen to podcasts, I would encourage you to add her to your list.

I enjoy my conversations with God as I move through days like this. I find my anxiety can change to peace and presence of mind. I am able to think more clearly. As I get a wee bit older, I find meals for many people a bit overwhelming. I can still do them and do NOT plan to stop, I will, however, change the way I approach them. For me, I need to make a list and go from the next right thing to the next with God’s help. Then, I am able. I also ask for help as if that is an option.

How about you? How do you manage an overwhelming day? I think I must quote this verse daily. If I have a life verse then I suppose this is it.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (NIV) – Philippians 4:6-7

I pray that you dear reader will ask God “ what is the next right thing? “ for you today. I pray that His peace will rest on you.

The Gift of Being Remembered

What a precious gift we can give to one another. To be remembered is always special at least in my experience.

It does not have to be something big… though it can be of course. How it warms my heart to receive an email from an old friend or colleague who I have not spoken to for a long time as life has taken us in different directions.

It was a few weeks ago I received an email from a dear friend who lives in another province. She had been thinking of me and wanted to know how I was. It warmed my heart deeply. A text or phone call from someone who says “hey, how are you?” Also very special! Then there are the “how can I pray for you or help you text.” All nice to receive.

Such simple acts of kindness can help any of us feel like we matter in this world. Our life makes a difference somewhere.

I was thinking about the old but beautiful movie “ it is a Wonderful Life”. The main character did not realize how precious his life was to so many. He had an encounter with an angel who showed him all they ways his life had impacted people in the past as well as the present. It changed his perspective.

We may not have the privilege of an angel encounter- but we do have the ability to remind someone that their presence in your life is important.

Philippians 1:3 “ I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy.”

Take a moment today and consider someone you can text or call or send a card to? Be the person who warms the heart of another, today.

A Season of Opportunity

If this season we find ourselves in is anything; it is certainly an opportunity to extend kindness and grace. To those in our lives who deserve it as well as those who do not. It is always easy to love the loveable, the ones who appreciate you and all that you do. Then there is the rest of them and we all have “them” in our lives.

When I think about the test of how loving I really am, I consider how I behave when I am tired. It is a lot harder to be patient, kind, and generous when we are worn out. There is a time when staying home and reading a book is better for everyone!

Then there is the time you are standing in a long line at the store with your purchases. I am not a great shopper. I take my list and go through it as fast as I can. Who has not had someone jump the line? How we respond is a good indication of how we are doing.

Driving, if you live in Toronto anyway, is another great indicator. How many times you can be cut off in a twenty-minute drive is remarkable. It provides me with many opportunities to forgive.

I read 1 Corinthians 13;4-6 from the Passion Translation. It was really beautiful. I think it has much to reflect upon for us as we get ready to celebrate Christ’s birth and time with family and friends. If we could apply daily all that this passage says, we would have a fabulous holiday! No regrets over how we treated people.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6 TPT: “Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celbrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. “

God is the Author of love and the source we can draw from when we find our well low. May God fill your cup and mine to overflowing. We can never have too much love!

When Everything Seems Like a Loose End.

We all have seasons where everyone we know seems to be in some overwhelming trouble. This is certainly true for me. I have many people in my life whom I love and pray for as they journey through a troubled valley with no clear solutions in sight. It seems that more troubles are added daily.

I wish that I could fix all the problems and lessen the suffering, but I am not that powerful! I know that the most precious lessons we learn in this life, are in those valleys. I would love it if it was otherwise. It is in those valleys we are tested and find out what we really believe about ourselves and our faith in God. Can we truly trust Him? Will He meet us once again?

Finding peace when you are in this season, is challenging. We can try shopping therapy which I confess does not work for me. There is a long list of what people try. I find lasting peace truly only is given to me by the Author of peace.

I struggle with sleep when so much around me is out of order. I long to see prayers answered, needs provided for, and people healed, surely this is not too tall a request?

Last night, after honestly not sleeping well for several nights, I felt the Lord speak to me. He was gentle and asked me if I could leave all the unresolved with Him? He asked me if I could believe He is able to take care of all these loose ends. I realized that nothing I was praying about was news to Him.

He reminded me of that well-known verse, “ Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. I did this, and slowly as I considered all these precious ones before the Lord’s throne, I could see that His eye was on each one. And I slept peacefully.

Whatever your burdens tonight, all the problems you cannot solve, leave them with the One who can. If He wants you to do something, I think He is able to show you! He loves these dear ones, even more than you do!

Ten Things I Wish I had Known When we Started Ministry

I wrote this several years ago and much of it is in my “ Confessions of an Unlikely Pastor’s wife. Maybe it will help someone today,

1.    Success in ministry is God’s business. I need to be faithful to what He is asking me.

2.    God is our provider. Salary is important- but not as big a deal to God as it is to us when He is asking us something that seems impossible.

3.    Christians-even leaders, people who call you friends, can behave badly and can disappoint you and hurt you. You are not the only one going through this.

4.    Just because key people leave a church, does not mean it will end the ministry. Sometimes while painful, God is in it. Trust Him.

5.    I cannot do everything or please everyone. I will let people down. So will my husband. We need to take our direction from God. When we do fail, we need to ask God for forgiveness and whomever we let down. Sometimes apologies are not enough. We have to live with that. People leave the church.

6.    There are seasons in ministry.

7.    I need to stay intimately in tune with God and walk closely with Him. He alone strengthens me for the ministry. Holidays are wonderful, but it never replaces the importance of time with Jesus.

8.    Remember, just because ministry is hard, does not mean God has something easier for you to do. As nice as that may be sometimes. God will show us when it is time to move on. How things are going is not always the measurement God uses.

9.    Great Pastors have great spouse who cheers for them and believes in them every day. A pastor who is beaten down at home will not thrive in ministry- nor will a Pastor’s wife who is treated unkindly or inconsiderately. If you want to have a great Pastor’s wife, be a great husband, loving, kind, and complimentary.

10. Guard your relationship with your spouse. This goes both ways. If you think the temptation to cheat will never come to either of you, then you are sadly mistaken. The devil is happy to destroy your marriage. Be careful and be wise.

"It is what it is"... Really?

How often I have caught myself saying these very words, “it is what it is” or” What’s a person to do?” As if we have no recourse. We just give in like we are being carried in a canoe with no paddles down a river as the current carries us.

Prayer is a bit like putting paddles in that river, a skilled canoeist can navigate around rocks even in rapids. They can also navigate remarkably high waves and if you put your paddle in at the height of the wave, and pull hard, you can move against the current. You have to dig deep into the water. No lily dipping as the term of pathetic paddling is called if you plan to make any progress.

When we find ourselves up against an evil day, faced with alarming news, we turn to Ephesians 6:10-18 “Finally be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” His schemes take many forms. They produce in us confusion, fear, discouragement and sometimes anger. If you read this passage, you see the armour that God gives to His people. He calls us to put it on- all of it.

Luke 1:37 reminds us that nothing is impossible to God.

What is gripping your heart today? Lay it at His feet. Nothing is too big or too small. This is one of the amazing things about God. Leave your burdens there and give thanks. You will never hear Him say to you “Oh, I am sorry my child; this burden is too much for Me.”

His throne room is open 24/7 and you are always welcome. However, don’t come emptying your backpack of burdens while you are harbouring resentment or things you have done that you know have grieved God. Forgive who you should forgive and confess to Him what you ought. This practice will give you a clear pathway to take all those burdens and lay every single one down.

He loves you and He sees you. We don’t have to just give up and join the choir of voices who say “ it is what it is.” Let’s go to God and ask Him to step in to whatever the situation. He is big enough!

When Silence Wins the Day

It has taken a while, but one thing I have learned, sometimes it is better to say nothing. Silence is not my default I confess, but I have learned that sometimes it is wise.

Today I was walking my dog Penny along the Toronto rail path. There is a fence at this section of the trail that is about 6 feet high. Penny was sniffing the grass next to the fence and I was watching her. Then, when I looked up and saw not 20 feet from me, a huge coyote watching us, I chose silence! I did not point this coyote to Penny, she was busy and I just simply got her walking.

We often find ourselves in conversations with different people. We all have strong opinions and convictions. Sometimes it is right to speak up and say what is on your heart. However, knowing when the right time to speak, is important to recognize. I have learned to take a step back and ask myself if it is time to share this pearl that that precious to me or if this individual just going to kick it aside.? That is always the risk we take. Ask yourself “ does this person have ears to even hear what I am saying?” or “is this the right time to speak up?” Timing matters.

Bil, (my husband) has a saying I have always liked and have tried to apply. “ Not all truth should be spoken as not all truth is helpful”

Proverbs 25:11 says “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver”. (NKJV) This is good advice for our day!

Speak up or stay quiet, that is the question! May God give you wisdom!

The Fight with Anxiety- 3 Steps I use to win!

It is fairly common to battle anxiety. The curious thing about Anxiety is that it is not a 9 to 5 battle. At night , it can intensify. Magazines are full of visualization ideas, positive thinking strategies, however for me, these fall short. They do not address the engine inside me that drives my anxiety.

Today I sat with God and we talked about the anxiety. He reminded me that fear sits right next to it. That is true. If we fail to name the fear that drives our anxiety- we won’t get far. Philippians 4:6-7 are often our go to verse’s. We go to God, lay down our anxieties and the peace of God is supposed to follow. In my experience it does but I have discovered for me, there are a few steps I need to follow. first.

1- Name your fear; what are you worrying about, name just one thing. Think of a backpack and take out only one thing at a time.

2- Now - take a moment to breathe and just rest before God, even if that anxiety is sticking to your hand like glue. Reflect for a moment- who is God? What is He like? What do you know about Him that is true? Now that you have done that. take that fear and lay it down. Thank Him that He is big enough and powerful enough to deal with whatever this is.

3- Ask Him now to turn your fear into Faith that will move mountains and then receive it in the Name of Jesus.

Maybe you are thinking “ Donna this is too simple.” I need simple and that is how my Lord instructs me. This is exactly the steps I walked through with Him this morning. I had two things in my anxiety backpack and I dealt with each one, walking through these three steps. I have peace now. Try it, you have nothing to lose and peace and faith to gain.

Never Beyond His Reach!

Read Psalm 139

There are several reasons listed in this psalm that can strengthen our hope as we see that our loved one is never beyond God’s reach.  The first is that God knows our loved ones thoroughly.  He discerns their thoughts from afar and is acquainted with every one of their ways.  Even before a word is on their tongue, God knows it.  While our loved ones are often a mystery to us, they are never to God.  We don’t know what they are thinking about, where they are going, or even where they are at this very moment.  But God does.

 Second, God puts limits on our loved ones.  He hems them in.  To be hemmed in is to be surrounded and limited in how far one can move.  Even when they push hard to live without restraint and on paths of their own making, they are still hemmed in.  God limits their movements and keeps them from going fully down destructive paths, particularly as we pray.  That is how intensely He is with our loved ones.

 Third, our loved ones can never escape God.  Even if this is their intention.  Truthfully, there is nowhere they could go that He is not there. The dark is as light to Him. He is found not just in the heavens, but also in the darkest places. It doesn’t matter.  God still holds authority in these places and is not afraid of them.  Our loved ones are never alone, even if they believe otherwise.

 Fourth, we are reminded that God has a plan laid out for our loved ones when they are ready to take that path. He knit them together skillfully while yet in their mother’s womb and set the number of their days before one of them came to be.  Though they are full of their own thoughts and plans, God’s are not so easily set aside.  God never stops calling their name to come to Him. He is tenacious in his love.

 Fifth, God deals with evil influences set against your loved one.  He takes a stand against people who would draw your loved ones away and would harm them.  This is a great comfort to us as we pray.

 Our Father’s love is so great.  We can rest in this today. Nothing is shocking to Him. They are not beyond his reach. As you pray today, entrust the care of our precious ones to our Father who knows them better than we do and sees them when we do not.

 Dear Father,

 Trusting my loved one into Your hands is so much easier when I read this Psalm. I know that You understand them better than I do. Thank You that they cannot escape Your presence. You are always there, and I am thankful. I give my precious one into Your hands today.

 In Jesus Name,

 Amen 

5 Simple Things that can help us have a great day!

It’s a Great Day!

“Another day to make the most of!”

1.     Forgive people who wronged you. If you don’t, it’s like you’re giving them a piggyback all day. They weigh you down. It doesn’t mean you’re excusing their bad behavior or terrible things they said. It means you forgive them for it.

2.     Give thanks to God for 10 things. We can focus on a cup half-empty, or we can take a good look at what is there. Giving thanks for the really simple things. This is a good place to start. “I get to live another day.” Start there!

 3.     Live today with your eyes on what is before you. Don’t waste a lot of energy looking backward. We can certainly learn from the past, but we don’t want to live there. Otherwise, put one foot before the other and keep going!

 4.     Being kind and thoughtful is always nice. Who nearby can use a word of encouragement? A plate of cookies or some flowers? They say it’s more blessed to give than receive. I have always found this to be true.

 5.     Be kind and compassionate to others, and to yourself. Don’t speak poorly of others and yourself. It makes a huge difference. We can talk our way into any ditch. It does not take a seminar to learn how!

The Harsh Truth I Finally Faced

Almost two years ago I decided to start running again. I used to run when I was in my twenties and have not done it since. Because I was running once more, I thought that I would be able to shed a couple of pounds in no time. I’ve seen those videos where a good-sized woman would walk and get smaller and smaller with every passing day. I thought that I would be just like her … except I wasn’t. Even though I was running again, I actually ended up gaining weight. People said my extra weight was muscle, and maybe they were right. However, let me tell you, the extra fat I continued to drag around was making me crazy and it didn’t seem like it was going anywhere anytime soon.

 What was my problem? Well, I spent my summer eating whatever I wanted. I believed that if I ran 5 km two or three times a week, what I ate wouldn’t matter. I baked until my heart was content because baking is a great love of mine. It turned out; I was wrong – my diet did matter.

 I began a new workout program last fall. It is a workout for women over 50 and I qualify. I really liked working out with the instructor. She kept saying that weight loss and fitness are not the same thing. She even said, “you do not have to exercise to lose weight.” What?!

 As I worked out, the instructor would often repeat, “you have to make peace with your menopausal body.” This is something I had not done – there was no peace. I tried to tell myself I was fine with the way I looked; except I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I finally decided that enough was enough. One day, I looked in the mirror and again saw a reflection I didn’t like. I finally asked myself, what was I going to do about it? I resolved that day to be different. No more cookies. No more chips. Basically, no more of anything that started with “c.” Things that start with “c” are my nemesis. Yet, even after my resolve, day after day, there was no change. I was “fit” but that was it. I wanted to be fit and trim.

 I needed to address the sayings I’ve embraced for a long time. Life is too short to not eat cookies or whatever else I might want. I really liked this saying and I lived by it, especially throughout the pandemic. I also blamed my thyroid which is slow (something I need medication for). I had all my reasons perfectly lined up. It was not until I was willing to admit that these beliefs were no longer serving me. They were, in fact, hurting me.

 I recently joined a weight loss program and have really been sticking with it. I have an accountability buddy which also helps. I am about 8 weeks in and am down about 10 pounds. It is slow but steady progress. I’ve found that whether I see progress or not, I honestly feel much better. I’ve dropped my cookie habit along with other things that I was doing which were not helpful. I know that some people can do this on their own, and I think that is amazing. I am, however, not in that category. I need help and inspiration!

 I have asked God to help me with self-control since it is clearly an issue for me with foods starting with “c.” I have also admitted to the lies I’ve told myself and addressed the motivations behind my goals. I am also trying to be gentle with myself. I cheer when I see changes. I celebrate another cookie-free day.

 If you are where I am and my story has been a help, then I am thankful. If you are at peace with yourself, that is great. We all need to be the best we can be. That is one thing no one else can do for us.

5 Reasons Grandmothers Need to be Forgiving

We have only this one shot at being a great Grandma or Oma or whatever your precious grandchildren call you. There are some things that will creep in and become a stumbling block, unforgiveness is one of them. Here are 5 reasons why I believe it is important to practice forgiveness, not just in the present, but looking back also.

1.  There are many little eyes listening to you. The bitterness that has been left to smolder in your heart all these years has only matured. Now, that old wound expresses itself as you overreact or over reply to perceived offenses. Now those same young eyes are watching you and listening to you. What message are you giving?

 2.  Unforgiveness steals a bit of joy over the simple beauties of this life. That is sad because we won’t get these days back. We know this because we have lived long enough to know how precious life is.

3. Unforgiveness can be habit-forming. That is a terrible habit to get into. Unforgiveness is very weighty on our soul. We don’t want to carry that around with us. As we both know, life is too short.

4.  We do not want to become that grumpy old lady that we have all met a time or two when we were growing up. We want to be kind and gracious. That only comes when we chose to forgive and forgive from the heart as Jesus instructs us to.

5.  By this time in life, we have all lost a few friends along the way. Some because they moved away and some because that friendship was for a season. Some, however… it was a misunderstanding, or some decision made that hurt you. Look around, we don’t have that many friends left. Be gracious, let it go, and forgive. It sets a wonderful example for the little ones who watch us.

I know there are more reasons, but these are the first five that came to my mind. I hope that it gives you something to think about!

What Kind of Grandma do I want to be?

I want to be the kind of grandma who listens when my grandchildren speak. I want them to know that they are important to me and that I believe in them and that I pray every day for them.

 I want to be the kind of grandma who plays games with them. My hope is also to keep myself in good enough shape that I can run and play with them and not just rock in a rocking chair.

 I want to be the kind of grandma that tells their grandchildren stories about cool things I have seen God do. I want them to know that He is real, and He answers prayers. I want them to know that Jesus is the One who informs how I live my life every day.

 I want to be a grandma that can bake with their grandchildren when I have the opportunity. I want to be able to bake buns for them and buy nice presents- not necessarily expensive, but ones that they would like. This is not easy to do, as some of them are pretty hard to please. I do listen to what their parents suggest though. I check with them when I have an idea. At least this way, I know if it is a great idea.

 I will never speak badly of their parents to them. I still remember my grandmother telling me when I was about 8 years old that my dad was “no good”. I will never do that.

 I want to be the kind of grandma that when God decides my time is up, my grandchildren will be sad and want to come to my funeral even if they are teenagers by then with some great plans for the that day. I don’t want their parents to have to beg them to be there.

 I want my life to matter to them. I want them to know without a second thought, “my grandma loves me and I am important to her.”

 We can’t all bake, nor run, but we can all love well. We can all choose our words wisely. We can all listen when they talk. Stop when they are showing us the same dandelions for the fourth time. We can pass on to them what we believe to be true. For me, it is my faith in Jesus. I want them to know that without Jesus, I would be lost.

 Be the best grandma you can be. It is one thing, no one else can do for you.

The What If’s of Addiction

It is pretty hard to walk with someone you love and not ask yourself “what if…”. What if they don’t make it home safely? What if they lose their job? What if they get killed stumbling into a car because they are so drunk or high? What if they get robbed on their way home or beat up? What if they never change? What if they never get sober or clean? The “what if” questions can consume the hearts and minds of those who love them. 

I have NO idea how anyone can walk this wretched path without faith, without the privilege of going to the one who sees all. It is one massive steep climb. I needed God to walk with me (even push me) up that mountain. I know there were times He even carried me. I came to the end of myself many times. I know I am not someone with limitless strength and stamina. I desperately needed what only God could give me. Kind friends and family played a huge role, but they can not give the strength required to get up that mountain. They can cheer and encourage (both of which are great), and … they can pray, which is huge! The Lord, who is my Shepherd, walked with me daily; moment by moment. 

When all you can see seems utterly unredeemable because they just look too messed up, know that as long as they are still breathing, there is hope. I learned to not put my hope in my loved one, but rather I looked beyond and put my trust in God. Psalm 121: 1-2 reads like this: “I lift my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord who is Maker of Heaven and earth.” It was in the looking beyond, where hope was and is born. This is something I had to do countless times. 

There is no guarantee with addiction. Out of 3 alcoholics in my family, only one found sobriety and continues to live day by day making that important choice. My dad never really found sobriety, but I hope and pray he was able to make peace with God before he died. As for my brother, I have hope there as well. Both stories are messy and heartbreaking. I look to God’s mercy and grace. There is nothing else I can do as they are both long passed away. 

We all have to journey pathways we would never choose. Perhaps it is a serious physical illness, or loving someone with mental illness, and it is just so challenging every day. My prayer for you is that you will put your hope and trust in God. I look to Jesus every single day. The challenges I face today are not like they were, but one cannot live without some new trial raising its head. That is simply what life is. We have seasons of joy and laughter, and seasons where life is just plain hard. We all have a choice: how will we face these days? 

I choose Jesus. He has never failed me. He loves me and He loves you and your loved one who maybe keeps you awake at night. If you need someone to help you make the steep climb, I know one who would love to do it with you. You just need to ask Him. 

Why it Bugs the Devil When we Pray for Prodigals

I have been thinking about this for the last several weeks. We all know people who have walked or wandered from the God we love. As parents or siblings, we know the pain that it brings with it. Why does it bug the devil so much?

A few weeks ago the thought raced through my mind to gather people who are praying for their very own prodigal. I kept ignoring the nudge, but it persisted. So, I posted my idea not knowing what to think. Surprisingly, a group of people joined me. However, before the meeting, I was overwhelmed by doubt and I felt like my head was in a vice grip. I asked a friend to please pray for me and it lifted. I have had this happen before and it has always been when I was engaged in something the devil would rather I left alone. Honestly, for me, it serves as a confirmation that praying as a group for prodigals is a great idea.

One of the reasons I think that praying for prodigals is important is simply because it can take the wind out of the sails of those who love them. It can be discouraging and a real “faith drain” especially if you have prayed for a long time. When our faith runs out that is when the faith of others can make a big difference. Sometimes we have all the faith in the world for other people’s prayer requests but ours which is so precious to us, wanes.

It encourages me deeply today Isaiah 43:5-6 “ Do not be afraid, for I am with you, I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!” and to the south, ‘ Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth- everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

The beauty of praying for prodigals is that you can be confident that you are praying within the will of God

If you want to join me as we pray for prodigals, let me know. You can email me at donnaleadyck@gmail.com. We are meeting every second Tuesday night. 8:00 pm EST. You are welcome to join. It is all on Zoom.

Problems that I am Powerless to Solve

It seems that there are weeks that problems roll in like a train carrying cargo. One thing happens, then the next and you think you are done but no… here come another one. When I have the power to solve what is in front of me, then perfect. Get out the glue gun and do the needed repairs.

In my mind, I see a basket full of trouble, I pull each one out and see very clearly, there is nothing I can do no matter what angle I look from. I can dream up a lot of angles, let me tell you. Solving problem is my middle name!

Of course, at night these things haunt me. I have to work really hard to just not think. Very quickly I feel tormented and overwhelmed. Everything seems worse at night, doesn’t it?

I start to pray and giving these things all over to God. Like Psalm 121 1-2says “ I lift up my eyes to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” I would like to tell you that the peace just came washing over me, but it did not.

I continued to pray and remembering verses that would bring comfort to my troubled heart. Then, after quite some time, I heard Him speak” Donna, in this world, you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) And that was it. Peace came and I went to sleep. Honestly, I think it was about 3:30 am by then!

God does bring peace to our troubled hearts, but He does not always bring the solutions as quickly as we like. He is full of surprises though. It has taken me a long time to learn to bring my fears to God, people that are difficult, situations and injustices that I cannot change, and simply leave them there and then give thanks. He is big enough to carry the load that I have dumped at His feet. I am powerless to change any of these things, but He is not.

What is in your basket full of trouble you cannot solve? Give it over to the One who is big enough.

.

Finding Peace in the Storm of Attempted Suicide

Hearing that your very own young adult has tried to take their life yet again is enough to suck the breath out of anyone. I am not sure how many times we were called to the hospital to sit with our loved one who thought ending life would be easier than going on living it.

The cloak of shame and despair was evident as we sat next to that hospital bed. Needless to say, our prayer life was pretty intense during this season. We always pray- but let me tell you that when you are in this particular pit- the prayers are desperate.

Psalm 23 will forever be a comfort to me regardless of the season I find myself. God promises to us that He is the Good Shepherd- not absent or forgetful. He promises that He will restore our soul and that even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we shall fear no evil. Have you ever wondered “ why is it only a shadow?” I asked God this one day and He reminded me that Jesus who said” He is the Light of the World” is also the Good Shepherd. When you walk with One who is light, we only walk in a shadow because of His great light. I have never liked the dark- so walking through the shadow always gives me hope.

I remember sitting in the emergency area of the hospital during another attempt. I was struck by a security guard sitting just outside the hospital room to make sure our loved one did not leave. I could not believe we were in this same situation yet again and wondered Lord- how will this all end? It is hard to imagine as a parent, watching someone you love so intensely, be so consumed with such hopelessness.

We looked to the Good Shepherd to meet us and He did. We looked to Him to minister to our beloved and He did. I wish I could say and this must have been the last of the trips to the hospital- it was not, nor was it the end of the drinking which was the engine behind all of it. But that day would come. We had to wait and pray.

We celebrated 3 years of sobriety for our loved one this past Spring. We could not be prouder of our son. It is an amazing accomplishment to live sober for him and it is a battle fought every day. He looks to God to help him as do we. He values his life now as God slowly heals the wounds of the soul as only God can.

If you or a loved one has had to walk this path, I want you to know that there is One who is able to comfort you and can reach into the life of that loved one whose life is consumed with ending it. There is no magic formula but I can tell you that for us, our hope was and is in God. May He give you wisdom and strength. This is not a journey I would wish on anyone nor is it one I can imagine walking without the Good Shepherd at my side.

Five Solid Reasons Why Teaching Kids to "make do" Matters

Michael and the family flamingo!

It was two summers ago when my husband chose to purchase this ridiculous flamingo. Most people would use it to just float around on… but not my family. We have a small boat. When we go to the beach which is about a 15-minute boat ride across the lake, we take turns. We were a family of six now we are a family of 16!! When we get together for holidays at our trailer and the decision is made to go across the lake to the beach… that is a lot of trips for our little boat. So this particular summer, Michael who is blowing up the flamingo ( there was quite a bit of complaining as I recall), when it came time to go across the lake, Michael and his wife Jordan decided to paddle the flamingo across the two or so miles across the lake to the beach. It was really funny. The lake was filled with all these fast boats ( not ours but it works just fine) and then across the lake comes this flamingo. It was memorable.

Bill and I certainly bought our kids what was needed or had them pray for what we could not afford. We also taught them that sometimes we need to make do with what we have. Why does this matter?

1. We cannot always afford what is newest and best and often do not need to.

2. It helps kids become resourceful (flamingo across the lake- it would not cross most people’s minds)

3. It helps kids learn that sometimes we need to be content with what we have now. This is never a bad lesson. It helps fight against the consumer mentality that is so prevalent in our day.

4. It challenges kids to take care of what that bike or sweatshirt or whatever when they understand it will not be replaced so easily. Therefore, they need to take very good care of what they have now.

5. It is more environmentally friendly. We teach this to our kids already from all kinds of angles, this is another one!

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The Beauty of Time Out and Kids

I was thinking back to when my kids were small and the role “ Time out” played. I remember it was really a big deal and it helped them and it helped me.

I remember one day in particular, one of my boys were being really difficult and I felt like tearing my hair out. It was a rainy day and all four kids were pretty tired of being inside and behaviour was not exactly stellar in the Dyck household. I realized that there was one boy who was behind a lot of the grief.

Sometimes we don’t hear ourselves repeating ourselves over and over again. That was me on this day. Like I said last week…. parenting children who do not listen to you is exhausting. I do remember that day thinking '“ what this boy needs is a time out”. I know it is not rocket science but it is really easy to not catch on to what is really needed. It is good to ask questions which I see parents do and if that is enough to curb the behaviour which is not acceptable- then that is perfect. Parents do need another tool in the parenting tool box to reach for when just a conversation was not enough and for me, that was a time out.

I found that it would change the behaviour. I have heard the phrase “reset” and for many kids, it is highly effective. There was times where I gave a 5 or 10 minute time out and it was not long enough. Nothing had changed and I would send them back to their bed to take some more time. I remember several times that when I sent one of the kids, especially when they were very young, I would find them asleep when I would go to tell them that 5 or 10 minutes was up. Sometimes the kids are just plain tired.

I realize that” time outs” do not work for every kid. I was lucky I suppose because they did work for mine. Time-outs gave me the time to calm down if I was really upset about what I was seeing and time for the child to think about what they could do differently. I would always talk to the child about what happened and what they were going to do differently. The child always knew that I meant what I said. I would try to follow up accordingly if they did not change their behaviour.

I was by no means a perfect mom but I certainly tried my best. I had good days and bad days. Remembering that giving a kid “ time out” was often part of a good day as it made the day much more enjoyable for everyone.

How long that time out was depended on how old they are but I confess I did start them pretty young, Willful defiance - when a child does not listen in my humble opinion needs to be addressed. The sooner the better. Kids need to know that listening to mom or dad when they say “ don’t jump into the deep end of the pool” needs to be obeyed. If they learn that listening is optional then that can become a big and even dangerous problem not only that, it can become habit forming and that can be a nightmare for the child and for the parent.

May God give to you wisdom as you parent. It is the hardest job to date that I have had the privilege of doing. I certainly needed all the help I could get and still do from a source that was beyond myself and for me that is always God.

The Most Exhausting Thing in Parenting

Parenting is likely the most rewarding thing a parent will do in their lifetime and also the hardest. I remember my best summer with my four kids in the parenting department. It was the summer I lost my voice. I could only whisper for two months.

When I spoke to the kids, they listened. I could not repeat myself over and over nor could I yell. The kids believed me when I spoke. I would get down to their level and say what I had to say and make sure they understood. They usually whispered back.

Children need to believe that you really are the one in charge. They can have their opinions and we can listen to them, but if your opinion never seems to trump theirs’ you are really in trouble. There are also times when listening to their opinion is not optional. I think when every moment of parenting is a debate, that is also exhausting.

It is utterly exhausting to repeat yourself 5 or 6 times and until they really believe you mean what you say. Until then, they are not going to listen. Listening is not something that is done on their timetable, but yours.

What happens if we raise kids that don’t listen? Will they listen when they get a job? Will they listen when a car is coming and they are going to run into the road? Will they listen when it is truly in their best interest? What about at school and their relationship with teachers?

Authority is given to us as parents and we need to use it wisely. We need children to grow up and be humble enough to listen and wise enough to believe that what those in authority are saying is important.

Listening is underrated in my humble opinion. I believe that part of raising children to be wise is to teach them to listen.